H - 2
M - 1
M - 1
AAnd with this app, I can give Maldonado a penalty at the click of a button.
BKvyat: Wow, your sexy time championship celebration with Jessica is very nice.
Hülkenberg: Meh, I've seen better.
C"And here's the laptime data that shows you'd have to be an idiot to go for Medium tyres for the last 27 laps!"
DButton: "Watch this, guys. You can actually pinpoint the second where Nico's heart rips in half."
E"If that's the Honda engine, Jense, where's your phone?"
FA selection of drivers gather round Button's iPhone to watch Daniel Ricciardo drop his 3rd place trophy in the interview pen.
GJenson: 'Cool! Chris Froome just won the Tour de France! '
Nico: 'If you were in the Tour would you consider using performance enhancing drugs?'
Jenson: 'I just want a performance enhancing car...'
HJenson - "We tried Windows 10, but since that doesn't work, we will use Android to update our engines instead..."
IRemember the Blackberry? Look they have the same odds of success as Nico winning a driver's championship this year!
J"This was Lewis's reaction to a McLaren beating him".
K"This bit is hilarious, he blames Nico when he drives off the track."
LSome people say Formula One is dull these days. Some say there are no characters left. The day Jenson Button found out Lewis Hamilton started following him again on Twitter, and the excitement it caused in the paddock, puts an end to those vicious rumours.
MButton: After the guys at the base saw a video of some people hacking into a moving car, they made this app that can disable one Mercedes car per week.
AVettel finally discovers what Alonso did in the #1 driver trailer's energy drink supply before he left.
BSeb: Ferrari were asking me which washed-up, past-their-best driver I wanted as my team mate next year, but apparently you already have a contract.
CVettel: "You're wearing all that McLaren gear out in public? Are you asking for someone to heckle you?"
DVettel: Look on the bright side, Al; if there is a F1 Guiness Book of Records, your 55 points penalty will be a record-holder. If they have space for it amidst all the records I set...
EAlonso: I'm thinking about going to the WEC.
Vettel: No, I went to the toilet before the race.
FYou better make way Seb, I'm supposed to be standing shoulder to shoulder with Honda just now
G"Sebastian, my latest grid penalty is so big i'm starting back in a Ferrari last year."
HSeb: So how does it feel to have scored more penalty points than championship points?
Fernando: Shut up Seb!
How does it feel to wreck your tire in the last lap.
HFernando: Shame about your tire exploding while in 3rd place.
Seb: Shame your engine has yet to be a race engine!
IAlonso: "I recommend putting those sunglasses on your eyes instead of the top of your cap, you wouldn't need to squint to keep the glare out of your eyes."
J"You like my false arm Fernando? I originally bought it so I could play pranks on Kimi when he's had a few, but I've found another use for it. You see, it frees up my right hand to use a detonator which explodes my right rear Pirelli.
This year has being going so well for me, I just need to complain about something, you know what I mean? Fernando? ...Fernando? See how great I'm doing?"
KVettel: "It's nice to be winning again, but I don't have anyone to blame when things go wrong any more. There aren't any Australians around, so I was thinking maybe ... Pirelli?"
L'Nando, I hear you would like to talk about "boats"...
MVettel: "Hey, I heard Nando's is opening their first Belgian branch!"
Alonso: "Don't say it. Don't sink to those depths."
Vettel: "Don't say what, a...pfft...cheeky Nando's?"
Alonso: "That's it, I'm gonna pierce your rear-right prime tyre!"
A - 2
B - 1
A - 1
B - 1
C - 1
AI think we'll need a Hyper Potion from the Poké Mart to sort out the HP deficit.
BThis poor man was told he could be a Formula One driver. Then he found out it was to be in a Mclaren Honda.
C"I have no idea what I'm doing."
D"I'm sorry, sir, but it's for your own safety - you must stay at least fifty feet from Lewis Hamilton's hair at all times or you risk being irradiated."
E"So this is what a good engine looks like..."
F"Maybe it was a bad idea to use the leftover Rover stock for this year's engines."
GThe new intern Mr. Es was not amused.
HI always wanted Jenson-senpai to notice me...but not like this...
I"I haven't been this depressed since last weekend."
JThe Phantom pit garage defaecator, caught in the act at last!
KHonda engineer: Detective Conan, what is the update on the Honda engines?
Detective Conan: I'm afraid it is, as the British people say, "bloody hopeless"...
LRestricted Area: Japanese engines only; No reliable performing engines allowed!
M"I worked so hard to help McLaren Honda win, I really did. But in the end, I couldn't even deflate our rivals' tyres properly."