Listen to My Song!Music 

For the last two months I've been writing/recording a song of mine that I've had as a lyrical idea for many months. Often I wrote as the record button was on.

First off:

This song is really long.

There is static in places.

Due to the lack of drums and bass, and to the program I used, parts of it are out of time just slightly. Not bad, I find it is still perfectly listenable.

I'm not a great singer, but I have improved.

So now that we have all of that out of the way, I want to share with GTP my epic song of 9:44 long that really speaks about who I am. This song has pushed my limits in everthing, noticeable improving in almost all areas of my playing and singing and finding tones, etc.

'State of Mind' is the name of the song. Please enjoy, and if you listen, please give me as detailed review as you can.

Click here
 

Perfect Balance

Lead
Premium
8,480
P_Balance
I like the music, I think it would be a lot better with other instruments added such as drums and such. Great guitar skills. 👍

The singing isn't great, but I guess that was the point.
 
8,706
United States
Utah
ceiling_fan
Listening to it right now. I like the fills after the first singing bit.

edit: Just finished it. Have to say the singing at the end was pretty annoying. I do think this could be split into multiple songs, if that's the route you want to take.
 
PERFECT BALANCE
I like the music, I think it would be a lot better with other instruments added such as drums and such. Great guitar skills. 👍

The singing isn't great, but I guess that was the point.

Yeah, I wish there was a way for me to add the other instruments.

Yeah the point of the singing is to sound like I'm nuts, which is what the song is about.

Thanks for listening :)

ceiling fan
Listening to it right now. I like the fills after the first singing bit.

edit: Just finished it. Have to say the singing at the end was pretty annoying. I do think this could be split into multiple songs, if that's the route you want to take.

I'm certainly not splitting it into multiple songs.

The singing is either love it or hate it. I'm truly to sound insane, and I think I got that across, despite my lack of natural singing talent.

Thanks for listening :)
 

Jimmy Enslashay

Fox
Staff Emeritus
6,546
matthewjlcoleman
I think the insanity, acoustic-nature and sloppy singing at the start works well. I'll give you a few suggestions, however.

Firstly, ceiling_fan's suggestion of splitting the song into two is the right one. I would certainly use the first section of the song as Part 1, and the second section as Part 2. As soon as you hit the point where the song gets heavy, that's where it should be split in two.

In the second section, you should probably scrap your style of singing for a much more rock-orientated, normal, semi-clean voice. Something normal, if you get what I mean. You could even get away with a Dave Grohl-type scream. As it hits this point, the singing really doesn't suit the song, and it really does get irritating. It just doesn't work. It does work for the first section, however. The entire first section is well-done, in my opinion.

All in all, I do like the music-side of the whole thing, but it does need to be split. The singing in the first part could possibly be worked on, if you feel like it. The singing in the second part needs to be much more normal, anywhere from clean rock vocals to a raspy rock shout.

Just some constructive criticism and some suggestions for you.
 
Thank you for the suggestions, Jimmy :)

As it stands there is zero reason for me personally to split it. Splitting it ruins the song, it isn't complete without both halves.

I agree the singing in the second half needs some work, I'm still learning how to sing, correctly. Although I do not want the singing to sound normal... more pleasurable, more in key, yes.... but not more normal.

Anyway thank you for listening :)
 

Jimmy Enslashay

Fox
Staff Emeritus
6,546
matthewjlcoleman
That's fine, I do understand that you do not want to split it, but personally I think it would run better as two split halves, as there would be a slight gap in there to allow for the mind to come to terms with the end of that section of the song, and get ready for something different. The split between the songs is also recommended, as they are very different, and as I previously stated, it would flow much smoother. Splitting the song doesn't necessarily mean that you would have two tracks as such (even though technically you would), you're just allowing a small breather, and some may prefer one song over another, being two completely different songs, so it would make it easier for the listener to get to that one part of the song they like, or to end it before the next part comes in, rather than having to stop it.

This is all of course on the assumption that you would get a lot of listeners, which you never know. But many bands do this. Take Pantera's Suicide Note songs, parts I and II. They are essentially one song, and it is general knowledge that you have to listen to both together to get the complete feeling, but some days I would probably rather listen to part I some days, and other days I'd probably prefer part II. If the two songs went together as one track, personally I don't think it would run together well, and it would almost be tiring listening to the track, in a negative way.

I hope I didn't just babble on and do circles in that post. I apologise if I did (I just went for a run, so I'm a bit warn out at the moment).

It certainly is your choice, and you are entitled to make that choice, so I respect any decision that you make on this, whether I agree or not.

Either way, I do like how you've done the musical aspect of the song, and the vocals do flow with the first part quite well, so you gave off the impression of insanity well.
 
I agree with Jimmy about splitting the song. You cuold use the part just before the heavy part as the intro. The vocals at the end are annoying but they do work at the beginning.
 
2,415
I'm not a fan of the vocals but then again I'm not a fan of vocals in general.

Very good outside of that.
 
Thanks for the listens and comments, guys.

I see what you are saying, Jimmy... however to me splitting it just completely butchers it. 1/2 the lyrics don't make the song. Even so, I think it blends in fairly well... the only thing I could do about it is have the heavy distortion come in more gradually or start at a low volume a bar or two earlier...
 
1,620
Split it!

You can still have the 2 parts run consequitively, even without a break if you like (the parts "i" and "ii" would just represent "movements" of the same song). Pink Floyd often split songs, it actually made it seem more epic and cooler! Just because you split it, the 2 resultant songs don't instantly become disperate or self contained without the other... It would still be obvious to the listener that both halves equal the whole, in an artistic sense.

I agree, the singing works ok at the start, but gets too annoying later on. I know you may want that effect from an artistic point of view, but you have to make sure people will be willing to listen to your work also, else the point of writing the song is lost!
 
8,706
United States
Utah
ceiling_fan
Yeah, a few bands do that. Their albums Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence and Train of Thought blend together, probably because they were released in that order.
 

Jimmy Enslashay

Fox
Staff Emeritus
6,546
matthewjlcoleman
Meshuggah has a whole album which is meant to be one song, too. Comprises of about 13 tracks, and it all runs as one song. The album's called Catch 22.

Think of Pink Floyd's Shine On You Crazy Diamond or Another Brick In The Wall. Pantera's Suicide Note. Dream Theater's Metropolis, which was a song on one album, and 7 years later Part II was completed as a full album!

There are many, many more bands that split songs into parts and still get the exact same effect.
 

guska

Drift Poultry
Premium
2,216
Australia
Queenstown, South Australia
guska_Cryotank
guska1984
Just tried to listen, but the file could not be found. I wanna hear it!