Well, critiquing from merely a movie making point of view, figure out some way, so that you're not holding the camera in you hand. Pile up a handful of books, or invest in a tripod. The camera shaking is just a tad bit distracting.
Turn off the track map and any other non-pertinant information on the screen. Yes, it's nice to see the sterring and throttle control, but others are necessary.
While the music is loud, sometimes it's the lack of music, and the engine/tires that can add more excitement. Try reducing the music levels, and allowing the other sounds to come through.
There are portions of the drifting that simply happen too fast, and appear to showcase speed. Take a look at Shadow Drifter's farewell. You'll see that he takes a slower speed into the corners, and holds the drift out further.
All things considered, you're off to a nice start. PLease take my criticism above as merely helpful hints. I've done my fair share of presentations, and what I've noted above are only my thoughts and examinations.
AO