Paranoia...

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Tom

Tom

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Right, here it goes. Basically I think I'm displaying some symptoms of what I would regard as quite severe paranoia, but I'll make it clear right now that you lot are the first people I've discussed this with. I keep thinking that people are watching me, I'll walk past people in the street and I think they're out to get me. If I hear a siren in the night, I think it's coming for me like the Police are going to knock on the door and lock me up or something crazy like that, the same applies for if I see a Cop car while I'm out, I think they're sitting there waiting to make their move, watching my every step. I'll hear people talking in the street and I assume they're talking about me. I feel like I can't trust anyone.

Obviously I'm aware this isn't normal behaviour by any stretch of imagination, could this Paranoia be a sign of something or does it just sound like I've got an incredibly guilty conscience? I really don't want to talk to any membe of my family or any of my friends about this, I also know what you're thinking "What the hell is the reason behind this?" Believe me, if I knew then this thread wouldn't exist.
 
Go to the doctor. Get help before it is too late.

Oh and stay away from weed, if you smoke it.
 
Dennisch
Go to the doctor. Get help before it is too late.

Oh and stay away from weed, if you smoke it.
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I never have and don't have any intentions to.
 
I've felt like that before, but not to the extent Tom describes. The thought that everyone is talking about me, that everyone who acts as my friend will betray me, usually telling myself that people haven't talked about me before, and that if they betray me, they were never my friends is enough to calm it. I only feel that when I'm not doing things though. Do you feel paranoid all the time Tom or is it during just certain times?
 
For a lack of a better or worse thing to say, then you probably need professional help. On the other hand, from personal, much-less-than-professional experience...

You're not as important as you think you are.​

Essentially, everyone is more deeply concerned about their own lives than the lives of others; this isn't just because we're hairy meaningless specks, just a few quarks removed from apes, presently muddling about upon our lonely wet rock in an unfathomably ginormous universe...it's because people are rooted in their own survival. We spend a lot of of that time concerned with feeding, sheltering, cleaning, entertaining ourselves and making sure we can repeat this process by working, maintaining, and learning how to make smarter use of our time and resources.

So in essence, the fellow across the street and/or the lady in the grocery store is more worried about one thousand other things other than your own actions. Now, if you are genuinely posing a visual, audible, and/or verbal threat to them, you can bet your last marble that someone has now zoomed your persona to a much higher ranking on their list of concerns. But genuinely, unless that other person is also paranoid, they're probably feeling concerned with some idle nonsense or thinking about what's on TV tonight and how that meal might taste, and how they can't wait to drink this, or how they wish they'd hit the lottery.

Your local city is probably spying on you...But guess what? It's probably run by someone who's bored and inattentive, and can't stand the bureaucracy of his job. How he wished he could go back to working on his car, tending to his garden, or traveling to Thailand on holiday. Are you honestly braking a law? You shouldn't have to think about that for more than a quarter of a second, and if the answer is no...congratulations! You're acceptably and successfully average and swim with the rest of the school of fish.

You're a statistic on a computer somewhere, along side a lot of other data that fits neatly and infinitesimally within the bell curve inside the neat little compendium of anything and everything. Fear not! It's probably been bought and sold to marketing alongside tens of millions of others, and there's nothing you can do about it.

What does this mean? That YOU are in control of your life and that you are the ultimate decider of your existence. Your choices are your personal moral authority, and you're stuck in the place you're at right now because of the decisions and actions that have brought you to this very moment; but keep in mind, everyone else is also just like you in that respect. Hopefully this doesn't make you too nauseous, but dread not a moment of anything life throws your way! Look everything in the eye, it's probably just as frightened and concerned and anxious at you.

Remind yourself that it's usually okay to be unimportant...That's not to say you aren't somebody to someone else. But to most people, you're a nobody, and that's a comforting thing, since you're living on an island with millions of others, and probably look a lot like many thousands of others.

If you have five heads, or six arms, then you might have a bit of an identity crisis.
 
My ex-wife is my ex-wife because she got to where she suspected me of everything, from cheating on her to trying to "steal her fortune." This from a woman who had more credit card debt than she made in a year, and absolutely nothing asset-wise. Since I was such an evil man she left me for another man she was apparently more comfortable with.

She literally believed that anything that happened was about her. A car parked at the house across the street was someone spying on her. A neighbor walking by and talking on the cell phone was calling child services to come get the kids. Everybody at work was always "out ot get her."

She was under professional care and had meds to treat it, but she always cheated on the meds. She saw "side effects" on the labels and just knew all those things were happening to her, so even with me watching her swallow pills, she'd somehow not actually be taking them. When she was really "out of touch" she'd accuse me of trying to poison her.

So speaking from experience. Get professional help. I don't know how such is treated in the UK, but the stigma of "mental illness" is not what it once was. Paranoia is an illness, from what I understand it's a fairly simple imbalance of certain chemicals or hormones, and it can be treated. Untreated, it ruins relationships with family, friends, spouses, offspring, parents, everybody. If they're not aware of the condition they may just give up on you and write you off. If you have their support and understanding everything can be dealt with and you can lead a relatively normal life. Problem is, you won't want to share, because you "know" how they'll react. You must find the strength to get past that hurdle, and learn to trust those whom you need to trust.

Pupik's post is logical in its expression of trying to point out how minimal your effect actually is on other people, but that logic has nothing to do with the paranoid person's actual perception of the world, which is, "Why won't all these people just leave me the hell alone??!?!?" The paranoia reduces the ability to keep things in perspective. After all, your world is the only one you're aware of, and it seems everyone else wants a part of it. You can be told over and over that they really don't, but to you, that's a lie, because you "know" better.

How old are you? If I had to guess, I'd say 20's. Maybe 30's but probably not.
 
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Tom - I know at least a half dozen people (not all of them younger folk) who seriously think they are 'Truman' (like the movie.) Everybody is involved in a conspiracy about them. Now - I'm not saying you are like that - but that you are not alone in imagining such stuff. As has been noted here (and very lucidly) you may be 'stuck' in one part of your brain, and may need counselling, psyche-therapy as appropriate, and/or medications that will help relax your brain and reset your 'thought perceptions' as such so that you can explore the feelings you can experience as you visit other more happier areas of that muscle between your ears.
To put it another way; the 'lactic acid' of tension is cramping your brain and keeping your thoughts and therefore external perceptivity in a very tight corner.

Cheers! We got your back! ;)
Harry.
 
So, to add a bit to this, I can tell, that I've also got a bit of the same, in minor forms though. - Every time, I walk outside my door, I'm carrying a knife, or something similar, (not to kill anyone, only for defending myself, if needed), even though it's illegal, it makes me feel a bit more safe.

But, instead of visiting a doctor, I think you should try and find a good psychologist. They've helped me a lot a few years back (but not with the problem as you), so I believe they can help you too.
 
Thank you, each and every one of you who has offered their advice. I've no idea why I think like this, but your advice has definitely helped. Problem is, should I need it, where should I go for professional counselling or something similar? Is there in the UK that operates nationwide that offers this sort of thing?
 
Tom
Thank you, each and every one of you who has offered their advice. I've no idea why I think like this, but your advice has definitely helped. Problem is, should I need it, where should I go for professional counselling or something similar? Is there in the UK that operates nationwide that offers this sort of thing?
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Usually you can get referred by your GP. You can get help like that on the NHS.
 
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How old are you Tom? This could be a sign of schizophrenia? Do you have any family history of it? Onset is common during your 20s.
 
Tom
Right, here it goes. Basically I think I'm displaying some symptoms of what I would regard as quite severe paranoia, but I'll make it clear right now that you lot are the first people I've discussed this with. I keep thinking that people are watching me, I'll walk past people in the street and I think they're out to get me. If I hear a siren in the night, I think it's coming for me like the Police are going to knock on the door and lock me up or something crazy like that, the same applies for if I see a Cop car while I'm out, I think they're sitting there waiting to make their move, watching my every step. I'll hear people talking in the street and I assume they're talking about me. I feel like I can't trust anyone.

Obviously I'm aware this isn't normal behaviour by any stretch of imagination, could this Paranoia be a sign of something or does it just sound like I've got an incredibly guilty conscience? I really don't want to talk to any membe of my family or any of my friends about this, I also know what you're thinking "What the hell is the reason behind this?" Believe me, if I knew then this thread wouldn't exist.
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You are very right, there is obviously something strange going through your mind.

With regards to your "guilty conscience", is there a story behind this? - Have you done something and haven't told anyone, something quite serious(?)

Dennisch
Go to the doctor. Get help before it is too late.
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This is the best advice you'll get on this forum, or anywhere outside of a doctors office.
 
Danoff
How old are you Tom? This could be a sign of schizophrenia? Do you have any family history of it? Onset is common during your 20s.
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I'm 15, the only medical problems that my family have suffered from are strokes. But do, explain more...
 
Tom
I'm 15, the only medical problems that my family have suffered from are strokes. But do, explain more...
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If you're only 15, why would the police then want to get in touch with you? You might have done something in your past, that might have made you think, that the police would come and get you...

Again, I would suggest you go find a psychologist, they'll help you out, for sure!
 
Tom
I'm 15, the only medical problems that my family have suffered from are strokes. But do, explain more...
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The chemical balance that causes the severe mental health issues can be caused by hereditry methods, ie if your parents or grandparents suffered from mental health illnesses, the chances of you suffering from the same affliction are greatly increased. Look at my partner's family; he suffers from BPMD, his nephew and niece both suffer from mental health (PDS and paranoia respectively), his father suffers from paranoid schizophrenia and his father's brothers all have a history of related illnesses.
 
Carlos
Could you tell me more about why it could be schizophrenia?
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Paranoia and schizophrenia are very closely linked, both being an incorrect perception by the patient of the reality surrounding the patient.

In paranoia events lead to the conclusion that others are directing their behavior towards the person, for whatever reason the person may construct in their minds, but their conclusion is that the behaviors they "see" are intended to do them some form of harm, be it physical, social, workplace, whatever. People talking and laughing as you walk by are "obviously" laughing at you. Anyone who looks at you in a crowd is "obviously" spying on you.

In schizophrenia the person perceives an entirely fantasized reality, where events connect to purposes that are imagined, but perceived to be genuine. My ex-wife was in fear for her soul one time when her daughter pulled some leaves off of a bush as we walked by. She "knew" God was going to punish her for her daughter's "transgression" by bringing the Apocalypse right then, at that very moment, and she was doomed to eternal hellfire. She also saw us as literally different people than we were; she kept asking me why I wouldn't let Walter come back.

When a psychosis reaches this level, counseling is not anything near sufficient for good care; it takes medication.

Danoff's question about the OP's age mirrors my own. Mid-to-late 20's is when these issues tend to appear.

For everyone posting things like "Just don't always make it about you. Lighten up and don't worry," you need to understand that someone who suffers from this cannot be counseled out of it. They cannot help or change the way they see events and behaviors around them. It's a medical condition and requires medical treatment. I had no idea myself until I found it happening with my (ex)wife.
 
Intresting.

I myself am 15 and have ocassionally seen the same symptoms you are having, Tom. When I was 14 I thought I would investigate my family history, like many people here have suggested it could have come from. In my case, it's pretty much family history. My dad for example had his house broken into when he was 7, and that has haunted him for life, meaning that pretty much everything me or my mum do he must know absolutely everything about, as he assumes the worst possible scenario will occur regardless to logic or common sense.

I have similar issues, mostly people watching me, rather. So I would recommend asking your parents or grandparents if they have suffered from anything similar to what you have.

My one concern for you is something I have a major issue with myself. I have developed over the last year or so OCD, to that extent that what I type must be perfect with no mistakes, and normally sound rather complicated with shall we say "Big Words" for people my age to be using (Thinking about it, I've done it in this reply vaguely :lol:). The cause for concern is, is that certain mental illnesses can lead to others. My dad also has a very severe case of OCD, to the extent that when he leaves the house he checks to see if the front door is shut 14 times, every single time he leaves the house. Anyway, since I'm fading into a tangent about myself, if you ever start to notice that the thoughts you feel from the Paranoia symptoms, become repetitive and burn a whole into you're mind, almost making you think them, I'd advise checking out for OCD too.

And for anyone who's intrested (and lives in the UK), BBC 4 are showing documentaries at the min about Mental Illnesses like Paranoia, OCD, Schizophrenia, and so on.
 
wfooshee
In schizophrenia the person perceives an entirely fantasized reality, where events connect to purposes that are imagined, but perceived to be genuine. My ex-wife was in fear for her soul one time when her daughter pulled some leaves off of a bush as we walked by. She "knew" God was going to punish her for her daughter's "transgression" by bringing the Apocalypse right then, at that very moment, and she was doomed to eternal hellfire. She also saw us as literally different people than we were; she kept asking me why I wouldn't let Walter come back.
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Sounds like hell. That must have been pretty hard for you to, if not harder. Especially when those fantasies are real for her.. Sad it happend to your wife. Are there any warning signs before it is going to happen or it just happened?

TheEnd35000vr
And for anyone who's intrested (and lives in the UK), BBC 4 are showing documentaries at the min about Mental Illnesses like Paranoia, OCD, Schizophrenia, and so on.
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What's it called? 💡 👍
 
Speak to your GP in the first instance - they will be able to point you in the right direction. There are other people you could speak to for advice or support other than your GP, including counselling and medical staff at your school/college, and so you might want to speak with someone like that too. But it wouldn't do any harm to speak to your parents about it as well - it's really nothing to be embarrased about, although I do understand that it can be difficult to talk about certain things with certain people, hence your GP is the best bet in the first instance.

I reckon that most people are/were pretty self-conscious at your age, and that can manifest itself in different ways in different people. I certainly was when I was 15... but there's a big difference between being very self-conscious and being psychotic. When I was a teenager and still lived at home, I used to dread cutting the grass out the front of my parents' house because I was convinced that my neighbours were watching me - waiting on me doing something stupid or having a Mr. Bean-style pratfall - which in turn made me more nervous and more self-conscious. I spoke to my Mum about it at the time and she said pretty much what Pupik said.

Of course, anxiety and in particular social anxiety (anxiety brought about in public situations) are very common and quite normal for adolescents, and many people suffer from these things without demonstrating any more 'serious' symptoms (although anxiety can be a very serious issue itself). I know from both first and second-hand experience what social anxiety can be like, and I know several others who suffer from anxiety to a much greater extent than I ever have, to the point that they require medication to control it. Sadly, I also know someone who became schizophrenic, and that changed the way I understand the word paranoia... as wfooshee alluded to, real paranoia goes way beyond anything that could be mistaken for social anxiety or adolescent self-consciousness.
 
Massive hormonal changes and chemical imbalances during the "teen years" can be attributed to a huge percentage of mental health issues suffered by those commencing puberty up to the age of around 21. It's quite normal to have mood swings, intrusive thoughts etc but when it starts to affect your quality of life, then that's when it's time to seek help. The majority of such problems during the "teen years" will rectify themselves without help but if you have family members prone to mental health issues then there's a higher chance of needing help to get these things under control.

Having thoughts and feelings like these are abnormal, but there's nothing "wrong" with it :)
 
Tom
I'm 15, the only medical problems that my family have suffered from are strokes. But do, explain more...
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Ok, well as has already been discussed lack of family history and your age suggest that the probability is pretty low that it is schizophrenia. But I would definitely heed the advice of others here and keep a close eye on this. Hopefully it goes away as you get older.

For reference, one of the big problems with schizophrenia as a disease is that the extreme paranoia that it causes can lead you to believe that the medicine you're being prescribed is an evil control mechanism that you should not be taking. It's a very serious disease and can, in rare case where treatment doesn't work, be horrifically debilitating and leave the person unable to function in society and requiring institutionalization. I did some research on it a little ways back and was astounded.

I think it's interesting that people have brought up OCD because I'm pretty sure I have some OCD that I have been fighting for years now without really realizing it. I find myself counting my steps periodically (or similar rhythmic things) and will kindof realize it when I notice myself internally going "15... 16... 17" and then have to force myself to stop counting... and it's not always easy.
 
jjsahagun
Watch out, Tom.
Everyone in this thread is out to get you...










...some advice.
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Helpful In literally no way....

Its a teenage thing, i had similar experiences (although not as serious) around your age.

All you need to remember is that gp's are confidential and seeing them won't make anyone think less of you, you be the bigger man by seeking help rather than let it eat at you :)
 
Thank you all for your useful and very (mostly) kind information, I must say that I was expecting some trolls taking the 🤬 but I'm so glad this isn't the case. I will consult my GP but I've done some pretty colourful things in my past and I really don't feel at ease discussing them with anyone, let alone it going on their records...
 

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