Tesla Master Plan: Part Deux

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Well, my dad in his present bipolar mania just leased a Model Y. I went with him to pick it up and as soon as we put two tires off the lot, every idiot light came on, ABS and TCS unavailable, almost every safety feature became unavailable. The car said it was "Calibrating" however, and that the errors made clear by "the next drive." Well, it was also pouring rain (like monsoon the-air-is-water rain), so we couldn't get out of the car without getting soaked. Couldn't figure out how to power it off and on again either without stepping away from the car and coming back to it. I went back inside and asked the guy if this was normal, and he was basically dismissive of the issue saying that "nobody has ever had a problem before" and that it'll finish calibrating. I asked for his card but he was like, "Oh, we're not a dealership." Well, **** you too then. I'm still not sure what we're supposed to do now. Schedule service in the app? What a way to ruin a car-buying experience. Just a totally horrible process. I feel like we have no recourse and were forced to take delivery of the car. My dad got pissed and drove it home anyway in torrential rain without TCS or ABS. I had to physically restrain him from putting his fist through the screen and help him control his rage.

At this point, I think I'm gonna dump all my stock once is gets somewhat close to what I paid for it. They need to fix this.
 
Well, my dad in his present bipolar mania just leased a Model Y. I went with him to pick it up and as soon as we put two tires off the lot, every idiot light came on, ABS and TCS unavailable, almost every safety feature became unavailable. The car said it was "Calibrating" however, and that the errors made clear by "the next drive." Well, it was also pouring rain (like monsoon the-air-is-water rain), so we couldn't get out of the car without getting soaked. Couldn't figure out how to power it off and on again either without stepping away from the car and coming back to it. I went back inside and asked the guy if this was normal, and he was basically dismissive of the issue saying that "nobody has ever had a problem before" and that it'll finish calibrating. I asked for his card but he was like, "Oh, we're not a dealership." Well, **** you too then. I'm still not sure what we're supposed to do now. Schedule service in the app? What a way to ruin a car-buying experience. Just a totally horrible process. I feel like we have no recourse and were forced to take delivery of the car. My dad got pissed and drove it home anyway in torrential rain without TCS or ABS. I had to physically restrain him from putting his fist through the screen and help him control his rage.

At this point, I think I'm gonna dump all my stock once is gets somewhat close to what I paid for it. They need to fix this.
Is Florida another state that doesn't technically allow Tesla to sell directly to the consumer like here in Texas? That's the same attitude you get here if you start asking the wrong questions at the "showrooms".
 
I dunno. The guy was a total slob though. Looked like he only brushed his teeth on special occasions. Really bad look for the brand. Seems like Tesla's answer for a horrible dealer experience is just to say, "We're not a dealership."
 
Well my dad drove it back today and they told him the service department was closed since it was President's Day. :lol: That set my dad off and long story short, they called in the service manager from home to come fix the car. Apparently some plastic protective bit on one of the wheel sensors wasn't removed from the factory. So much for the pre-delivery inspection lol. It melted and basically sent the sensor into panic mode. Everything seems to have worked out now, though. Pops has a loaner that works great, and the manager was apparently a great guy. Tesla seriously has to fix their service center pickup experience. Something so dumb almost cost them a sale and potentially a lawsuit. What a show.
 

U Sure GIF by Red Bull
 
This is the only Cybertruck I've seen that interests me



A huge part of the Cybertruck's aesthetic problem is that the wheel & tire package just looks dinky and pathetic. The truck needs full-on Mars rover proportions to make sense. The Cybertrax does that.
 
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This is the only Cybertruck I've seen that interests me



A huge part of the Cybertruck's aesthetic problem is that the wheel & tire package just looks dinky and pathetic. The truck needs full-on Mars rover proportions to make sense. The Cybertrax does that.

Well the truck is triangle shaped, so having triangular-shaped treads on it does at least make it look less awkward. And I expect that improves its offroading ability quite a bit as well, so hey.
 
Drove the Tesla and I see what the fuss is all about now. It's solid, quiet, rides like a cloud, and hauls ass. Not a fan of one-pedal though... maybe my settings were too aggressive. Couldn't figure out how to change anything quickly before setting off. One thing I'm not a fan of is the way everything is mashed on the screen. I can't figure out how to do climate control or any kind of stereo controls without stopping what I'm doing and having to look over everything for a solid minute. It's like, if you don't RTFM you're lost. Clearly, it was designed by people who think in terms of documentation and not intuitive reasoning.
 
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Drove the Tesla and I see what the fuss is all about now. It's solid, quiet, rides like a cloud, and hauls ass. Not a fan of one-pedal though... maybe my settings were too aggressive. Couldn't figure out how to change anything quickly before setting off. One thing I'm not a fan of is the way everything is mashed on the screen. I can't figure out how to do climate control or any kind of stereo controls without stopping what I'm doing and having to look over everything for a solid minute. It's like, if you don't RTFM you're lost. Clearly, it was designed by people who think in terms of documentation and not intuitive reasoning.
Back when they were the only electric car game in town, that was a pretty powerful selling proposition. Its tougher now that they're not, and competitors have better design and better ergonomics (IE: Physical controls) with similar driving experience. Tesla still has advantages, like the supercharger network and the most mature (maybe?) tech, but you can't just write off the pretenders anymore.
 
Drove the Tesla and I see what the fuss is all about now. It's solid, quiet, rides like a cloud, and hauls ass. Not a fan of one-pedal though... maybe my settings were too aggressive. Couldn't figure out how to change anything quickly before setting off. One thing I'm not a fan of is the way everything is mashed on the screen. I can't figure out how to do climate control or any kind of stereo controls without stopping what I'm doing and having to look over everything for a solid minute. It's like, if you don't RTFM you're lost. Clearly, it was designed by people who think in terms of documentation and not intuitive reasoning.

I also recently had my first experience in a Tesla (model 3). I was actually a fan of one-pedal. Like you, I didn't love that everything was mashed on a screen. I felt that it sacrificed too much of the functionality of some of the traditional controls. Some kind of speedometer that can be glanced at or observed from peripheral would be preferable for example.

Honestly the biggest thing in that car's way is tesla being tesla and fixing things that aren't broken.

A side note, somehow it makes 4s to 60mph almost boring. It feels very much like an appliance, and it works in that regard. But there is nothing exciting about driving it. It would be great as a commuter or A-to-B type of car rather than something actually fun. It's not fun. But it is easy and comfortable and relatively stress free.

Kinda wish I could get it in a minivan.
 
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After my dad dropped me off, he let it drive itself home with FSD. He didn't have to touch anything. He called me while he was pulling into his neighborhood and his girlfriend was losing her **** at it making a left turn on its own, lol. I can see how it's a totally surreal experience, but I guess this is the future. @Crash would know.

My dad also thinks my house is haunted now since he thought he saw a ghost fly by, and something blipped on the car's sensor/vision display to back him up. :lol:

I also recently had my first experience in a Tesla (model 3). I was actually a fan of one-pedal. Like you, I didn't love that everything was mashed on a screen. I felt that it sacrificed too much of the functionality of some of the traditional controls. Some kind of speedometer that can be glanced at or observed from peripheral would be preferable for example.

Honestly the biggest thing in that car's way is tesla being tesla and fixing things that aren't broken.

A side note, somehow it makes 4s to 60mph almost boring. It feels very much like an appliance, and it works in that regard. But there is nothing exciting about driving it. It would be great as a commuter or A-to-B type of car rather than something actually fun. It's not fun. But it is easy and comfortable and relatively stress free.

Kinda wish I could get it in a minivan.
Funnily enough, the speedometer in the corner of the screen was the only thing that I thought worked well without too much of a learning curve. When I got in, I didn't even want to touch the pedals because I wasn't sure if the car was going to shoot off. Even my Mazda will tell me to put my foot on the brake before hitting the button to start the engine. Another huge thing is that when you put the car in reverse, none of the cameras automatically show up on screen. I had to go fiddle for like a solid minute to look for the backup camera to see what was behind me. I'm sure that doing all this in pitch black darkness made the experience worse than it was, but still-- that's annoying.

I totally agree with the car feeling like an appliance. It's a really awesome appliance though. Kinda like a vitamix blender. Do you need a vitamix? Well, no, you don't need one. But nobody ever regrets buying one. You can't make silky smooth sauces unless you have a really good blender, but all the other blenders are almost the same price or even more expensive, and suck at blending, or have some other catch that makes them a pain in the ass. You could have just had a Vitamix, you know?

I kind of hope the next vehicle is a small skateboard platform that can be sold as a smallish minivan/kei truck kind of pickup combo, sort of like the Canoo. It'd have to be something they'd build the robotaxi on top of, too, so it could work out.
 
Another huge thing is that when you put the car in reverse, none of the cameras automatically show up on screen. I had to go fiddle for like a solid minute to look for the backup camera to see what was behind me. I'm sure that doing all this in pitch black darkness made the experience worse than it was, but still-- that's annoying.
This shouldn't be the case - The Y should either display the rear camera only or the rear and 2 side cameras, alongside the Park Assist view.

Whenever you shift into Reverse, the touchscreen displays the view from the camera. Lines show your driving path based on the position of the steering wheel. These lines adjust as you move the steering wheel.

Model Y also displays images from the side cameras (if equipped). Simply swipe up or down to hide or show the side camera views.

Is there a chance it was dismissed once and the car has remembered it? I didn't think it would remember that setting, I'm pretty sure my 3 doesn't, but you never know.

On a side note I just got the Adaptive Headlights update on my Model 3 and it works brilliantly, even on the rollercoaster roads around where I live. It feels like the responsiveness of dismissing the pop up panels has also improved but that may be in my head. Now if they could just get the wipers to behave themselves...
 
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April 8 (Reuters) - Tesla (TSLA.O) has settled a lawsuit over a 2018 car crash that killed an Apple engineer after his Model X, operating on Autopilot, swerved off a highway near San Francisco, court documents showed on Monday.

The settlement was made on the eve of the trial over the high-profile accident involving Tesla's driver-assistant technology. Tesla faces a series of lawsuits over crashes related to the alleged use of Autopilot, putting the automaker at risk of large monetary judgments and reputational damage.


Which is interesting, since...

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... so we can only assume the lawsuit was just, and Tesla settled to keep it out of the news that their $6000-$12000 auto-pilot/full self driving was responsible within a week or so of Space Karen announcing Robo-Taxis (again).

******* grifters.
 
This shouldn't be the case - The Y should either display the rear camera only or the rear and 2 side cameras, alongside the Park Assist view.



Is there a chance it was dismissed once and the car has remembered it? I didn't think it would remember that setting, I'm pretty sure my 3 doesn't, but you never know.

On a side note I just got the Adaptive Headlights update on my Model 3 and it works brilliantly, even on the rollercoaster roads around where I live. It feels like the responsiveness of dismissing the pop up panels has also improved but that may be in my head. Now if they could just get the wipers to behave themselves...
April 8 (Reuters) - Tesla (TSLA.O) has settled a lawsuit over a 2018 car crash that killed an Apple engineer after his Model X, operating on Autopilot, swerved off a highway near San Francisco, court documents showed on Monday.

The settlement was made on the eve of the trial over the high-profile accident involving Tesla's driver-assistant technology. Tesla faces a series of lawsuits over crashes related to the alleged use of Autopilot, putting the automaker at risk of large monetary judgments and reputational damage.


Which is interesting, since...

View attachment 1345191

... so we can only assume the lawsuit was just, and Tesla settled to keep it out of the news that their $6000-$12000 auto-pilot/full self driving was responsible within a week or so of Space Karen announcing Robo-Taxis (again).

******* grifters.
Before the hotfix to the new FSD that everyone was raving about, my dad's did a similar thing on the highway where it tried to swerve into the HOV. I guess the double lines confused it? It did the same thing on a bike lane after the off ramp. That's when he shut it down and was going to unsubscribe. Everything, including the rear camera issue, seems to have gotten better with the new pushed update.
 
Before the hotfix to the new FSD that everyone was raving about, my dad's did a similar thing on the highway where it tried to swerve into the HOV. I guess the double lines confused it? It did the same thing on a bike lane after the off ramp. That's when he shut it down and was going to unsubscribe. Everything, including the rear camera issue, seems to have gotten better with the new pushed update.
That sounds terrifying! The worst I've had so far is the lane assist refusing to let me back into the left lane after an overtake despite it being empty.
 
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I believe one of the people offering testimony was a former Tesla engineer who 'revealed' this...

The engineer revealed to the family's lawyers that the car steers itself by relying on marked lanes on the highway — a design similar to the lane departure warning systems that can be found in many modern cars, but one that Tesla has advertised as part of its advanced "autopilot" technology, the Post reported.

Not exactly a shocking revelation, or bad thing, but if the system is overly dependent on such things, it's not hard to see why there's many many scenarios where it would go wrong.
 
I should add that the HOV lanes and their markers are all stripped off because they're converting them to toll-paying express lanes. So you have the left-most lane that's 20% wider than all the other ones where it happened. Maybe it hasn't trained enough on those kinds of situations. The car loved to camp the left lane and would routinely drive the speed limit and merge into lanes with traffic approaching 30mph faster (people doing 90 in a 65). In FL, the speed limits are more of an expected minimum than a maximum. On a posted 65, you gotta stay on the right if you're going that slow. Everyone usually does 70 and the left lane gets jammed up if people don't move out of the way to let people pass at 80+.

I don't think he's brought it on the highway again but the urban/suburban FSD experience has been pretty good so far.
 
I actually worked near the original tesla factory in san carlos in 2006-7 and the roadster was always broken down with engineers troubleshooting…2024 i work in palo alto near all the tech companies including tesla and still see them broken down on sides of roads… never seemed like a reliable car since conception
 
I actually worked near the original tesla factory in san carlos in 2006-7 and the roadster was always broken down with engineers troubleshooting…2024 i work in palo alto near all the tech companies including tesla and still see them broken down on sides of roads… never seemed like a reliable car since conception
Prototypes run into issues. Shock and horror.
 
Which part of the master plan is this?

I bet you right now the board of Tesla really really wished they had a new, exciting, highly marketable product with great margins, simple production, and genuine innovation to sell...instead of the Cybertruck and an aging selection of other models that Elon doesn't seem to care 2 ***** about.

I think even the rosiest projects of the Cybertruck will show it as being a dud on the balance sheet. But I think to genuinely get a sense of how profoundly dumb it was, you need to factor in the opportunity costs of not developing a new mainstream product that would actually sell in high numbers (examples: a normal, functional pickup, a truly low cost EV, a model above the S, etc) and that didn't take such massive investment to develop and (probably) continuing massive investment just to keep production going.
 
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But hey, forget about all that. We want to use your car as a cloud compute node without your permission or knowledge!


No, this totally wasn't another earnings call smokescreen, what are you talking about?
 
My previous post was obviously in jest, but the question occurred to me today, considering this thread's title...what exactly is Tesla's plan now? Now that the company is strapped for cash, I don't see the semi truck or roadster projects seeing the light of day, at least any time soon. With Tesla laying off the supercharger team, it's hard to look at Tesla as a company confident about it's future ambitions. Tesla's whole business model was based around getting somewhat normal people excited about the actual products...not just shareholders excited about potential returns. The Cybertruck exists now and I'm already sensing the excitement around it beginning to fade.
 
Even by Elon standards, what the 🤬 is he doing? The Supercharger network is basically free money now that everyone is abandoning CCS, before the government actually even started giving them literal free money. It was the decisive competitive advantage Teslas had all along. I know he just does dumb crap and his increasingly Far Right supporters fall over themselves to explain why it's actually brilliant, but what is the goal here? Like just a few days before Tesla canceled it the company was leaking stuff so fluff pieces could be shotgunned across the internet about the upcoming $25,000 Tesla.


It makes me think that he's only pushing for anything he can do to raise short term profits force a positive vote for that laughable compensation package he wanted.
 
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Even by Elon standards, what the 🤬 is he doing? The Supercharger network is basically free money now that everyone is abandoning CCS, before the government actually even started giving them literal free money. It was the decisive competitive advantage Teslas had all along. I know he just does dumb crap and his increasingly Far Right supporters fall over themselves to explain why it's actually brilliant, but what is the goal here? Like just a few days before Tesla canceled it the company was leaking stuff so fluff pieces could be shotgunned across the internet about the upcoming $25,000 Tesla.

It makes me think that he's only pushing for anything he can do to raise short term profits force a positive vote for that laughable compensation package he wanted.
Now that he has SpaceX, the eviscerated corpse of Twitter and his vanity truck to play with, it wouldn't surprise me if he's bored with Tesla and any other ventures he still has going, and sees them only as investor money funnels to try and claw his way back up the "World's Richest People" ladder.

Since EV development as a whole has hit a plateau until battery tech advances enough to make them mainstream viable, and their manufacturing capacity is likely diluted by trying to support several different vehicles at once, some of which are going to be stuck filling backorders for years and thus not bringing in any new capital (especially when quality control issues keep forcing halts in production), Tesla is going to need inflows of investor money to stay going for quite a while yet, and lately those flows have been drying up. Not too much of a stretch to think Elon's just waiting for the right time to do a smash and dash.
 
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