The Simpsons Quotes

[oscarfulz]

if you watch the simpsons and like it alot post your favorite quote

or jsut plain simpsons talk
mine would have to be whent theres the tornado and homer says

"somehow the animals are always the first to know..." and
"d'oh!"

 

[milefile]

Whem Marge says "Fox turned into a hardcore porn channel so gradually I didn't even notice."

When Ralph says: "It tastes like burning."

When Homer says: "Did you know that so called volunteers don't even get paid?"

Oh there's so many... Some, quoted out of context may not seem as hillarious.

 

[Roo]

"You call that a knife? THIS is a knife!"
"No it's not, it's a spoon."
"I see you've played knify-spoony before mate."

 

[Duke]

"Oh, look! Maggie's lost her baby legs..."

 

[milefile]

Only four posts and I'm cracking up.

"Eeexcelent..."

 

[DJ_andercore]

" 'Mommy, I can't open my milk!'
'Im not your mommy raplh, im miss hoover"

"Miss hoover, I ated my red crayon"

"Sugar made my raplhy go bad'
'Im happy! and ANGRY!"

"I bent my wookee!"

 

[Race Idiot]

Stealing, stealing, stealing a car for Moe,
da da da da, da da da da da,
insurance fraud today!

Thank god for Vat_man, I copy pasted that from one of his posts.

 

[LoudMusic]

I like the that was a multi-episode show where Burns is in the hospital. He says to Smithers, "I said HOP IN" holding a model airplane and pointing a gun at Smithers.

 

[milefile]

"Look Smithers, I'm Daniel Boone!"

 

[Sleek Stratos]

Originally posted by LoudMusic
I like the that was a multi-episode show where Burns is in the hospital. He says to Smithers, "I said HOP IN" holding a model airplane and pointing a gun at Smithers.

That one was hilarious. 👍 I think it was on the ep where Burns opens this casino or something, haven't seen it in ages so I can't be sure.

One of my favorite quotes:

Bart: "I didn't think it was physically possible but this blows and sucks at the same time." Can't remember in which ep he says it though.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Homer " No beer and tv make homer go something something."
Marge " Go crazy?"
Homer " Dont Mind if I Do! *Starts screaing and making funny faces*



I can think of thousands of hilarious quotes. 👍

 

[vat_man]

Originally posted by Race Idiot
Stealing, stealing, stealing a car for Moe,
da da da da, da da da da da,
insurance fraud today!

Thank god for Vat_man, I copy pasted that from one of his posts.

A pleasure.

So many quotes - context is important on these, though.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Employee: Okay Mr Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I don't know...

Mayor Quimby: It can be two things!

Police Chief Wiggam: We do not take prisoners out and race them.....any more.

Ralph Wiggam: I bent my wookie!

Homer: That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! [leaves]
Bart: I don't think any of us expected him to say that.

Homer (to Bart): If you were 17, we'd be rich by now! But no, you had to be 10...

Homer: Stupid Flanders. Go ahead, Marge. Have a ball. What if they came back and I was dead from not eating. They'd cry their eyes out. [mock crying] 'We should have never gone to the Flanders'. Oh, why did we go to the Flanders' house and leave Homer alone with no food?'' And I'll be laughing, laughing from my grave, ha ha ha.
- yeah, had to look that one up

More as they come to mind.

 

[Ethix101]

Ralph - I bent my wookie.

Apu - Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.

Skinner- Nibbles! Chew through my ball sac.




-Mark

 

[boombexus]

[Bart and Lisa are fighting and making noise.]

Homer - "Shut up, I can't hear myself think!"

Homers brain - "I want some peanuts."

Homer - 💡 "Mmmmmm, peanuts." 💡

 

[Solid Fro]

When Bart and Lisa attend Kamp Krusty:

Lisa: I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart.
Bart: We're all gonna die, Lis.
Lisa: I meant soon.
Bart: So did I.

 

[Solid Fro]

Todd Flanders: Ow, my freakin' ears!

Radioactive Man: My eyes... the goggles do nothing!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Mayor Quimby "Uh, next time I would prefer a none descript briefcase, uh, compared to the sack of money with the dollar sign on it. "

 

[Mr. Snowtire]

Ralph Wiggum: When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!

All time fav: We're Here We're Queer We don't want any more bears!

 

[oscarfulz]

the epsode where homer joins the navy or whatever its called

navy guy: i dont like you and you dont like me
homer: but i like you
navy: well i dont like you
homer: but i like you

it was something simaliar to that, and also the part that was funny was when

homer asks for peas in the submarine and when he talked he made the whale noises! that was so halarious

 

[oscarfulz]

the episode when the simpsons get their last name changed to the thompsons

in conference room....

man: hello mr thomason.....
homer: (looking dead straight at the man)
man: .... hello MR THOMPSON (smasking homers foot)
homer: psssssssst i think hes talking to you (to other guy)

 

[Squid]

hmmm. . . eternal happiness for one dollar? I'd rather keep the dollar.
~Mr. Burns

Alright brain, you don't like me and i don't like you, so let's just do this thing and I'll go back to killing you with beer.
~Homer

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
~Homer

The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers
~Homer

20 Dollars? I wanted a peanut! (Brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!) Explain How! (Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!) WOOHOO!
~Homer

I ate the blue ones.... they taste like burning
~Ralph

 

[DJ_andercore]

Why is it that 2 people copied my quote??



EDIT: Oh, and squid, the berries were purple .

 

[vat_man]

Originally posted by Viper Zero
Radioactive Man: My eyes... the goggles do nothing!

I love that quote! We use that at home, with full Austrian accent.

Others (yeah, I'm looking them up - there's too many to choose from):

Lionel Hutz: Uh oh...We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I... kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly,' and the word 'dog' with 'son.

Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, er, we've just lost the picture, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has been taken over - 'conquered', if you will - by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

Lenny: "Oh good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him!"
Carl: "Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his pants."

Skinner: Oh, you think this stolen 'H' is a laugh riot, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny: right now Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl! Well, I guess that is a little funny.

Homer (to Bart): People die all the time, just like that. Why you could wake up dead tomorrow.....Well, goodnight!
- actually, what makes that quote is completely depressed way Bart lies in bed after Homer leaves

Homer: Every time I learn something new, a little of the old gets pushed outta my brain, remember that time I took that wine making course and forgot how to drive?

Brain (while listening to Flanders droan on about cider) : [moans] You can stay, but I'm leaving.
- Homer collapses

 

[oscarfulz]

do you guys remember the one.... when those religous people came i forget their names... but the scene was something like this

(religous people take homer)
Marge: my husband.!!!
man: hes our husband now
crowd: yayyyyyyy!!!!

and on that same episode the guy leaves in the space ship and it falls apart and he was using like a comb and a paper to make the hovering noise ahahhahaahhahah man that was soo funny

the simpsons just makes me die laughing

 

[Sleek Stratos]

Originally posted by Viper Zero
...Radioactive Man: My eyes... the goggles do nothing!

I laugh so hard whenever I see that part. Never wears off. It's the humor of that piece which really boosts it.

 

[Bollocks#999]

From the Bart and Lisa Playing Ice hockey


Bart: I just went and ripped the head of Mr.Hunny Bunny....
Lisa: But that was your favourite childhood toy
Bart: arhhh(trys to rejoin the head to the body)


Same episode:


Bart: Dont worry lis, I try not to hurt ya...
Lisa: Dont worry, Im wearing my lucky rabbits head...
Bart: You inhumane monster...
Lisa: you wanna piece of me?

there are so many from this episode

Homer: If somethings too hard to do, then its not worth doing

 

[Mike Rotch]

Oh man, I've been laughing so hard my eyes are watering


When Sideshow Bob is arrested after the whole "Cape Fear" episode":

Bart to Wiggams two sidekicks: "Take em away boys"

Wiggam: "Hey, Im the chief here!. Take em away toys"

Black cop: "What you say chief?"

Wiggam: " Do what the kids says".

 

[Mike Rotch]

More:


Internet! Is that thing still around? - Homer

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer - Homer

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead - Homer

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? - Homer

Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.?
The kids can call you Hoju! - Homer to Bart

Lisa : Shouldn't you put on a batting helmet?
Homer : No it messes up my hair

 

[Flerbizky]

Homer: "To Alcohol - The cause of, and solution to - All life's problems"

 

[millencolin]

homer talking to his brain to try and work on bart soap box racer

homer- "whatever you want to do, you always ask the opposite. What does that mean?"
brain-"it means you use reverse psychology!"
Homer- "that sounds complicated"
brain- "fine then dont do it"
Homer- "ALLRIGHT I WILL"