- 9,209
- DerAlta
And so, how was your morning?
It was a frigid cold night, with a wet day prior to it. That means, the site will look like Antarctica. Arrive on site, and sure enough, you need ice skates to get across it.
Scrabble my way to the trailer, only to find the padlock frozen shut. Water had seeped into it yesterday, and froze during the night. I can actually see the icicle hanging out of the key hole.
Wait, there are guys plowing the mall, maybe they've got a torch. One quick 200 yd scamper in bitter cold to find out they don't. Nope, not even a lighter.
Hold the show, I've got an old pack of matches and an old cigar in the car. Hop in car, grab all the extra paper, napkins and burnables I can. Use last remaining match to light 2 month old cigar. Ugh So much for an appetite, and the wife's gonna kill me from the smell in the car. Toke cigar up to a healthy glow. Skitter across ice to trailer, pack paper, napkins and receipts (none that I have to turn in) around frozen lock, stick my face inches from paper with Cigar deep in material, begin toking cigar to light material on fire.
At this point, an old news story flashes through my brain pan. An elderly gentleman was burning leaves in his front yard, when his wife began screaming hysterically inside the house. He rushes in to find her standing on a chair and a little mouse on the kitchen floor. Being perturbed at having to leave his fire unattended, he scoops the mouse up, and heads back outside. Unceremoniously he tosses the mouse into the fire. The mouse falls through the flame, getting set ablaze and races out of the ashes across the yard. Said mouse aims for the only sanctity it knows, the man's house. Into the basement, and into the walls, through the insulation, setting it all ablaze. Burning house to the ground. The ironic ending would have been to see the singed mouse later on, but I'm working with vague recollections, here.
So Back to the story at hand. DA, kneeling in front of his trailer door, has a large pile of flammable material, cupped in his shaking, freezing hand, attempting to light it on fire by using the cigar in his mouth, so he can thaw the ice out of the lock on the trailer door.
I'd have a tough time explaining to my boss how I burned the trailer, down if this goes awry.
Considering it was 3 degrees and windy, my luck manages one "Hail Mary" and the paper catches, flames shoot forth, and begin thawing the lock as well as burning DA's hand. Mere moments later, I can see the ice melting and Voila! I cram my key into the lock, twisting it free!
I learn something new every day.
And how'd your morning go?
It was a frigid cold night, with a wet day prior to it. That means, the site will look like Antarctica. Arrive on site, and sure enough, you need ice skates to get across it.
Scrabble my way to the trailer, only to find the padlock frozen shut. Water had seeped into it yesterday, and froze during the night. I can actually see the icicle hanging out of the key hole.
Wait, there are guys plowing the mall, maybe they've got a torch. One quick 200 yd scamper in bitter cold to find out they don't. Nope, not even a lighter.
Hold the show, I've got an old pack of matches and an old cigar in the car. Hop in car, grab all the extra paper, napkins and burnables I can. Use last remaining match to light 2 month old cigar. Ugh So much for an appetite, and the wife's gonna kill me from the smell in the car. Toke cigar up to a healthy glow. Skitter across ice to trailer, pack paper, napkins and receipts (none that I have to turn in) around frozen lock, stick my face inches from paper with Cigar deep in material, begin toking cigar to light material on fire.
At this point, an old news story flashes through my brain pan. An elderly gentleman was burning leaves in his front yard, when his wife began screaming hysterically inside the house. He rushes in to find her standing on a chair and a little mouse on the kitchen floor. Being perturbed at having to leave his fire unattended, he scoops the mouse up, and heads back outside. Unceremoniously he tosses the mouse into the fire. The mouse falls through the flame, getting set ablaze and races out of the ashes across the yard. Said mouse aims for the only sanctity it knows, the man's house. Into the basement, and into the walls, through the insulation, setting it all ablaze. Burning house to the ground. The ironic ending would have been to see the singed mouse later on, but I'm working with vague recollections, here.
So Back to the story at hand. DA, kneeling in front of his trailer door, has a large pile of flammable material, cupped in his shaking, freezing hand, attempting to light it on fire by using the cigar in his mouth, so he can thaw the ice out of the lock on the trailer door.
I'd have a tough time explaining to my boss how I burned the trailer, down if this goes awry.
Considering it was 3 degrees and windy, my luck manages one "Hail Mary" and the paper catches, flames shoot forth, and begin thawing the lock as well as burning DA's hand. Mere moments later, I can see the ice melting and Voila! I cram my key into the lock, twisting it free!
I learn something new every day.
And how'd your morning go?
