The December from hell...

Takumi Fujiwara

Takumi Fujiwara

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2,336
United States
Los Angeles, CA
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WRBWRXMAX
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Max Archer
The worst december ever...
Current mood: distressed
Category: Life

Well... it's christmas, it's 5am, and I'm awake because there's nothing to do tomorrow.

I should have gone into this a while ago.

It all started about a month ago. I wasn't doing well in college, and ended up getting the boot for missing classes.

So, I headed home to talk to my folks. Attempts at negotiation quickly turned into a fight, which developed into a suicide attempt. The cops stepped in. I spent four days in a psych ward while they tried to make sure I didn't do myself in. (Not that I planned to by then...)

However... the events lead to something worse. My folks threw me out. They got a restraining order. I'm not even allowed to contact them. A deal was made, that I'd recieve a bit of money from them.

Of course, they decided that the deal never existed. They cancelled my bank account (I never even knew they could do that, it was my own account, in my name, that I got when I got my first job.) and killed off my credit card. So here I was, with nothing.

So, I went back to my place in SB... only to find that everything that wasn't bolted down was stolen. PSP, PS2, iPod nano, TV, my best 35mm camera, among other things, and my room had been ransacked.

However, I recovered my PS2 and TV, along with a few other scatterred items. (Printer, etc)

Sold my 4x5 (large professional camera), which earned me enough money to buy the MR2. Bought it because I can't afford to keep the Subaru, which, on top of everything, has a busted wheel bearing and therefore isn't drivable. Had fun at the track, even though I was slow. And then, 13 days after I bought it, I came through a corner hard and.... Hello rod knock! So I had to ditch the car down the hill and get a friend with a trailer to bring it to my friend's place. Therefore, I've now got nothing to drive.

Which leads to my friend's place. Yep, I'm pretty much homeless now. Been sleeping on my friend's floor for the past few weeks. Feel horrible about being such a burden. I'm completely out of money, so I've been having to bum food money from him, too. Can't even get work, because I've got no bank to deposit the money in, and can't get an account with no legal address, and on top of that, my driver's license is damaged, can't get that replaced either, thanks again to the lack of an address and lack of funds. Nobody's gonna hire me without an address, either.

I'm really stuck here, and every day that goes by makes me more afraid, more depressed. I've really got no idea what to do. My family... threw me away, like so much trash. They told me they didn't care if I die on the street, and did everything they could to ensure that happenning. They'll be under the tree, opening presents, soon, not caring about the fact that I'm out here with nothing and nobody. I'm lonely, sad, and terrified.
 
Of course, what you described here only gives a glimpse of what's been going on, but it is a complicated situation nonetheless.

That money you should get from your family, isn't there a way to get them to give it to you? How 'bout talking to the police? Getting that money would be a basis to start further things from...
 
There's no official contract or anything, so it'd be my word against theirs. Cops won't do anything in a situation like that. 'sides, I've got no money with which to hire a lawyer or anything, they do.
 
:guilty: aw man.. I feel sorry for you. you've had hard times. can't you open your own bank account or something, or ask money from welfare so you could get an apartment etc? I'm pretty sure that some social worker would be ordered to help you out in this case.
 
Don't you have any unemployment agencies in America that will provide for you to some extent? They might even be able to help you with your work situation, get you a job and organise your first payment or two to be done by cashable cheques or something until you can sort sometihng out to open a bank account.
 
And I don't have the overview of your properties, but is there anymore stuff you could sell, like the car or other cameras? I know it sucks, but having that doesn't help you at the moment.
 
I've sold all my camera equipment that has any value. As for the car... with a blown motor, it's not worth anything. Better to work up some money and fix it. The problem with unemployment, etc, is that I don't have enough of a job history to get it, and it's become quite difficult under our current administration...
 
One word, McDonalds. Well it doesn't have to be McDonalds specifically, but they are among a number of companies that are almost always recruiting (especially over Christmans/New year) and will hire people with little or no working background. It might not be your ideal carrer path, but as a stop gap to get you financially stable and to provide an income for you while you look for a job you would prefer to do.
 
Well, it's not that I don't have a working background. I've worked full-time for the past four years.

Besides, if I want an entry-level job, I can get one easily working at my friend's supermarket, it's just legal issues holding me up.
 
Why can't you use your parents' address? That's what you used before, isn't it?
 
Because I can't have anything shipped there or anything. Any kind of documents, cards, etc, there's no way to recieve them if I gave that address.
 
What about your friends address, I'm sure he wouldn't mind until you get yourself sorted.
 
I would've thought that your parents would legally be fined and maybe charged if they cancelled your bank account and cancel payments. That's a crime in BC, and the cops and the government will intervene to make sure you get the money. I would think that Cali is somewhat similar to that.

Anyways, sorry to hear about this. This is probably more than anyone will ever experience in their lifetime.
 
Sue your parents... ?


Also, see if you can get a P.O. box or ask somebody to let you use theirs. At least you'll be able to get mail.


Just remember that tommorow is another day. You'll get through everything. Hopefully your parents will give you a break by then as well.
 
You should be able to use your parents address for a job, and bank account. Neither one should send any important documents to you via mail. None of my jobs ever mailed me anything, and my banks just sent random offerings they had via mail, if anything at all.

If my parents tried to ruin my life like that because I failed in college I'd burn their houses down. Unless, of course, I was failing because of heroin or crack, or something.

Anyways, sorry man, and best of luck to you.
 
I'm sorry to hear this, it's the last thing you need and certainly at this time of the year :(

Is there any type of mail redirection service where you are?
 
If you are already sleeping at your friends house; voila, you have a mailing address. Now get yourself a job.

Question: For a guy who had just been rendered homeless and had most his valuable possessions stolen, why are you buying yourself a car and racing it at the track? Surely this wasn't a solution to your problems.
 
Josh
You should be able to use your parents address for a job, and bank account. Neither one should send any important documents to you via mail. None of my jobs ever mailed me anything, and my banks just sent random offerings they had via mail, if anything at all.

If my parents tried to ruin my life like that because I failed in college I'd burn their houses down. Unless, of course, I was failing because of heroin or crack, or something.

Anyways, sorry man, and best of luck to you.
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Doesnt your bank send you statements in the mail every month? I was in your situation I wouldn't realy want my parents being able to see my account details and statements. But even so yeah you should be able to use your parents address anyway, same goes for the job as well.

speedy_samurai
Question: For a guy who had just been rendered homeless and had most his valuable possessions stolen, why are you buying yourself a car and racing it at the track? Surely this wasn't a solution to your problems.
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Also this, more so being that it's your only source of transport. Somehow I think you need to sort out your priorities a bit better.
 
Race Idiot
Doesnt your bank send you statements in the mail every month? I was in your situation I wouldn't realy want my parents being able to see my account details and statements. But even so yeah you should be able to use your parents address anyway, same goes for the job as well.
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I have USAA now which has an option online to stop paper statements from being mailed to you. They just e-mail them. You can also call to stop the paper statements. I'm sure other banks offer this as well.
 
Way I see it, this is a extremely hard test of character. Don't give up, you can work it all out, take it one step at a time, first get a job, I'm sure there's plenty of jobs out there that pay in hand such as in Resturants or Bars. Then start to work something out with your friend, perhaps you could live there with him for a year or two but offer to help pay bills, food, perhaps even a small rent, it will be worth it to have a warm room to live in.

Then from there, you can start to plan something to get your parents to open their eyes on what they have done, so you got kicked out of college? It happens sometimes, have you considered trying to join another college and this time put the effort into the class? I'm sure if your parents see you have changed for the better, they too will change their ways and welcome you back.

Just sit down one night soon, grab a cup of coffee, a notepad and a pen and write down all the things you need to do/achieve, a check list of sorts. That way you have set out priorities to reach for instead of just lounging around a friend's home all day.

You can do it, but it's gonna take time, it's not going to happen over night. ;)

Good luck!
 
Josh
I have USAA now which has an option online to stop paper statements from being mailed to you. They just e-mail them. You can also call to stop the paper statements. I'm sure other banks offer this as well.
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That sounds better than constantly sending me statements, I never look at the damn things anyway they just go straight into the shredder. I prefer using the old online banking thing to look at my statements anyway.
 
Race Idiot
That sounds better than constantly sending me statements, I never look at the damn things anyway they just go straight into the shredder. I prefer using the old online banking thing to look at my statements anyway.
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Yeah like if you have any money
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It looks like life hit you pretty hard with this one Takumi Fujiwara, the only thing I can tell you since I haven't been in your position, is to keep the courage, the hope and also keep hustling mate, because once you're all over this, you'll realize how easily you can overcome future obstacles in life....Good Luck :cheers:




Ciao!
 
Josh
You should be able to use your parents address for a job, and bank account. Neither one should send any important documents to you via mail. None of my jobs ever mailed me anything, and my banks just sent random offerings they had via mail, if anything at all.

If my parents tried to ruin my life like that because I failed in college I'd burn their houses down. Unless, of course, I was failing because of heroin or crack, or something.

Anyways, sorry man, and best of luck to you.
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The reason I need the address for a bank account is because they still have to mail you your cards and checks. Can't do much without those.

Anyway, getting into another school is out of the question. I don't have the grades or the SAT scores to get into a "real" college, nor do I have the money to pay for one.
 
1. Get a job. Any job.
2. Rent a place, nothing fancy, but something you can easily afford.
3. Work your way up the career ladder and get on with your life.

Damn just take that supermarket job to tie you over, and use your friends address for a bank account. Your parents dont sound very nice, and im sure it hurts but its time to move on and once you have a job 90% of your problems and worries will go away. It will secure you. Then you can go back to socialising, having fun, meeting that special gal etc etc.

If people who cant even speak english can come to your and my country, and manage to get a job and accomodation im pretty sure you will too.
 
You really do need to help yourself here, there's not much advice beyond what has already been given that can be given at least not without more information. You mentioned legal issues preventing you from getting a job, what legal issues?
 
What a horrible situation, is your situation with your parents resolvable at all? I'd never be able to kick out of my kids no matter what they did, fight through it Taku, life can be an arse at times but if you fight you'll pull through.
 
I probably shouldn't be the one saying this, but: Do well in school, 13-year-old gtp members.
 
I feel truly sorry for you man, however, should I be in your position Poverty's answer would be the way to go. (I Wonder if Famine could spare some wisdom as to how to go about this...)

Has anything changed since Christmas day? I would think your parents spared a moment looking around the floor that holds the foundations of the tree, and would notice their son isn't there. Have you had any form of contact since then?

Although, If I'd been what you've been through, my parents would no longer have every-day material to use, nor a house to sleep in.
 
Takumi Fujiwara
Well, it's not that I don't have a working background. I've worked full-time for the past four years.

Besides, if I want an entry-level job, I can get one easily working at my friend's supermarket, it's just legal issues holding me up.
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What legal issues? Are you a convicted felon or something? Get the damn job at the supermarket so you can have enough money to get an apartment and a P.O. Box. Hell, sell the car (what's left of it) and get a P.O. Box.

Takumi Fujiwara
The reason I need the address for a bank account is because they still have to mail you your cards and checks. Can't do much without those.
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Cards? You don't need a card. Checks? You can pick those up at the bank.


Look, you sound like after all you've been through you still need a good swift kick in the ass. You don't sound like you're actually interested in helping yourself - you sound far more interested in having other people take care of you. Jobs are easy to get, get one. Take the money and get a place to stay and some necessities so that you don't lose the only friend you have left. Then shop around for a better job. Eventually you might have enough money to start taking classes again - this time don't skip them all the time and get kicked out.
 
And sell the 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX, World Rally Blue Pearl. There's about 10 grand right there.

I love the thought processes here. Get kicked out of college, get kicked out of house, has bank account and card cancelled (which someone else can't do, unless you're lying and its not yours), has loads of stuff stolen, so goes and sells a camera and buys an MR2 (even though you own an Impreza) and takes it on a track day and breaks it.
 

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