"A Christmas Carol"

[Bee_Bee9]

A Christmas carol by Mazda.

Let's find out as you wonder what the hell I'm going on about. I'm looking at the Dealership and have decided apart from the Karts what else is running a small engine....lets have a look.....

Citroen 2CV 11BHP and a 425CC engine, there's a couple more in the european section but getting into nearly 1litre capacity is kind of close to normal.
Should I waste my time looking in the US section, I don't recall seeing any lawnmowers in there so lets skip it.
ASIA-PACIFIC- a gawd damn Gold mine of little put-puts, we have the Honda Life Step at 29BHP with a 356cc engine, I can see some more 500cc engines from Honda, some --- from Mitsubishi (cheers PD), Subaru provides us with a 356 cc pulling a massive 15BHP, a 790cc 44BHP from Toyota....way to fast...but I settled on a Mazda....please welcome to my garage, running 19BHP a 358 cc engine it's the one, the only..............

Mazda Carol 360 Deluxe '62
​

We shall call it "Christmas Carol", now If you read about the car you will see they use to modify the carol......tweaked the suspension to lower the body (that could have just been so they could hide behind....a park bench maybe). "Many of the 360's were secretly swapped out for bigger engines" Looks like a pedal kart to me.
Anyhow before I purchase it do I go with a red roof, blue roof, gray or green???? Decisions, going with green, blends in with the bushes better. I part with 38,500

To the pit service for an oil change just incase the oil in it is from 1962. While there I had a look in the custom external parts....REAR WINGS everyone I'm a bit scared of putting one on incase it topples over backwards and besides one of those wings makes it look like a pram/baby stroller.....coochy coooooooo, so I leave empty handed and able to see through my rear window....wondering if I'm going to need a window because not sure I will see any cars behind me, of course I will need a window to see them coming up behind me to ......lap me

Next it's tune up time, now I will put parts on but Im buggered if i'm spending time tuning the POS

Sports Hard go on (worried about loosing grip with all this power)
Suspension Hard (well they did use to lower it back in the 60's so they can't be wrong)
Do I need the stopping power of the Racing Brake Kit...erm not really, opening the window should be enough.
Gearbox and clutch left as is.
Now to POWER her it up.
Stage 3 engine tune, 19-42bhp, I'm having some of that.
Computer - 45bhp.
Racing Exhaust - 49bhp
Manifold, Catalytic Converter and Intake Tuning push us to the heady heights of.....57 horses
The body, 32k to lose 40kg (thats similar to a small body), sorry was thinking about the wife, 32K to lose her...bargain to lose it from the car, too expensive but I do it anyway.
Window weight reduction puts us now at 510kg.

Lets go race it, well at least drive her, we are now going to pick and choose where the car races, if you think I'm putting myself through HSR in that...forget it.

Race 1 - Novice/Sunday Cup/ Autumn Ring Mini. All aids off unless you need traction control to stop lighting those rear tyres up. Lap 1 completed and I had to use the window down technique otherwise known as brake as I nearly run into the back of a Prius and also my first victim, I pass 2 other cars before the end of the lap and am screwing the nuts out of 3rd, I change into 4th ready to start lap 2 and if I was in the car i'm pretty sure I be heading through the window because it felt like the Startship Enterprise coming out of warp. Lap 2 begins...and I make short work of pasing the 106 on it's outside, the MX5 is soon after as the Christmas Carol hugs the corners while the other inferior Mazda slides out wide. So I'm leading and it's the final lap and the chequered flag, shifting into 4th does remind me of my hoover when it's nearly full. (take home pay 9K)

Race 2 - Novice/Amateur Cup/Willow Springs.

Continuing but having a brew

 

[Bee_Bee9]

Well if the car goes off track there's enough tumble weed to hide behind, and the race begins....well if you was thinking, "I wonder what It would have been like to travel the Old Wild West on a .......donkey" this could be your chance, alas not to be as I pass a BMW in turn 2, a Primera in turn 3 and try to catch the draft of a Protege but thats not going to happen and the Primera passes me on the straight leading to the final bend....where I promptly hit the limiter in 4th gear and with no 5th(too much of a scrooge to splash that much cash out) Im bouncing, bouncing, bouncing, passing, passing...wtf, oh yea the AI is braking in the final turn before the start finish straight where as I never even needed to open the window, not even a crack....woo hooo. Lap 2 and in 3rd, turn 1 I decide against braking as I can see the 2nd place car but the 1st place car is no where in sight and we want another victory for "Christmas Carol" I manage to pass the Mito and find myself in 2nd and looking at the rear of the 1st place car the MR2 Spyder whose driver I have decide is a tosser, because he obviously slowed enough to give me some hope of a victory and then floored it and f...lew of. The final bend provides the car with a chance to close some distance and we come out of the corner in the MR2's draft only to hit the bloody limiter again and I wave goodbye to a win as the MR2 pulls away and I'm left looking at the speedo bouncing at 154km/h. (Take home pay just short of 7K) All those billboards to hide behind....hide and seek anyone

Race 3 - Novice Champioship all 3 races, we may be small, we may be underpowered but we got nutz the size of King Kongs.......
Brands Hatch - I thought I was going to get mullered here and even more so when 2 AI cars decide to do a slow side by side in turn 2 of lap 2, turn 3 the "Christmas Carol" was doing it in 4th and catching the Del Sol. Oh those wondeful AI's, hitting the brakes when no need and near enough doing an endo, PD cock up or crowd entertainment....hmmmmm....who cares, I pass him and take 1st place, the blast to the finish line was all rear view mirrors as I'm watching them close up but sorry Del Sol, that crowd entertainment cost you 1st place and 100pts to the "Christmas Carol"

Autumn Ring - Lap 1 nice and easy apart from the MiTo being driven by a blind man, I saw a billboard at the side of the track..."ELF"...glad to see Santa's little helpers are showing their support for one of their creations, my mistake I'm in a Mazda.
Lap 2 and I hit a few kerbs and panic sets in because I know the old girl is up on two wheels, think we was saved by the extra weight of the driver and soon back to having 4 wheels shredding up the tarmac. Passing the CRX was easy in the Mini section to take the lead, keeping that lead is now touch and go too the point that with one corner to go its that close I decide not to brake incase I brake to heavy and scrub off all that speed we are carrying, so i opt for down shifting and bouncing of the limiter....it worked we stay in front and pull some more of a lead out to take 1st place again and another 100pts....my gawd we have this Championship sown up.

Brands Hatch- the bigger one. Early evening and the candles the Carol uses for headlights are burning bright, luckily we will not be going fast enough to create a breeze that will blow them out and the race is well under way. I'm trying to calculate where I need to finish to take the Championship and by the time i figure 3rd should have us tied but hand me the victory with 2 wins, I find myself in 2nd Yes the Del Sol does it again show boats in the same stratch of road where I drive by him and further and further away to take another win, thats 3 out of 3. (take home pay 45K credits)

 

[Bee_Bee9]

National B/Freshman Cup/Tsukuba (450PP/SH) Decided to step it up a notch and show off the little chap to some bigger dogs. The big dogs came to play but obviously PD helped out massively, watching Carol catch and pass a Skyline GTS 25 Type S that pulls 177bhp stock is a joke, pretty much as bad as those ones you get in your Christmas Crackers "What do you call a penguin in the Desert?"................."Lost"....... I bet the people who come up with those jokes are relatives of those who built the Carol.
After winning the last race I decide I'm going to take the Mazda pass the Honda Offices at Tokyo R246 in City Trial Race 2, yes Carol needs a spanking before she's put to bed..........
Well even here the Carol passed a couple of cars before they cleared off on the long start/finish straight, I would have like to have yelled out the car window "Oi Honda your NSX is behind my Mazda POS" but no chance of that as it was long gone. Passed the Golf again on lap 2 and even when I left space for him to retake his position on the S/F straight he stayed behind so the Carol never came last, now if I was from VW I would be well miffed at PD making my car look like a bigger turd than the one I was driving.

Anyhow need another beer, Carols been spanked and his off, will we see her again, doubt it.....one night stand...beer goggles and all that spring to mind. Although if your making the move from auto to MT, perfect car, you only use 2 gears and dont worry about the brakes, not really need.

If you took the time to read this apologies, must be like me and sod all else to do, have a merry christmas and rollon New year from me and "Carol"

Cheers.