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A statement by me.
First things first, why GTPlanet? Because simracing is not unheard of on GTPlanet and the site also has a large, active community with racing enthusiasts alike. I didn't know where to post this at first, but then I realized GTPlanet is the perfect place. So, here I am. I'm hoping this will receive plenty of feedback, attracting both simracers with a similar mindset, as well as people who might not be that familiar with simracing. Mind you, I also don't post to forums often at all, let alone make detailed ones. I put a good deal of effort, time and thought on this post. So, let's get it on shall we? Start your engines!
The image is courtesy of GPVWC
Definition of simracing
Simracing. What is it? Just what is it? I'll tell you what it is. Simracing is the virtual equivalent/counterpart of real life motorsports: racing against other people on your PC, with proper peripherals and simulation. Sounds simple, right? Well, it is far from it. It's one thing to know how to drive, but a completely another to do it fast. Just like in real racing, you must use all of the track available, brake as late as you can, and maintain a smooth driving style and line. Simracing has a very steep learning curve. This is a combination of driving skills, and car knowledge. While it's obvious that driving skills are a key factor to be successful in simracing, the question is, how to be fast. This does not only include taming the car and pushing it to its limit, but also how to fine-tune it.
Unlike some racing games, you can set up a car to optimize it for the track you're on. Pretty much all professional simracing leagues have open setups, and as such, knowing how to set up the car for each track is crucial. While it may seem like it merely means adjusting the car to one's driving style, it can be a huge factor in speed differences. This means that even a world class simracer on default setups can lose to a less experienced driver who knows how to make setups. But obviously, there is no "magic" setup that is above all others. Setups are flexible and though they can differ a lot, they can produce equal pace. So, while you may have got the driving part, if you don't know how to make setups, you will fall short, like me. I know how to drive fast but I still haven't quite understood car dynamics. I do know basics, but I'm far from great with setups. So, I still got a lot of learning to do.
Racing games can be mistaken as pure-blooded simracing, such as Gran Turismo and Forza. Hardcore simracing games, or rather, simulators, include rFactor 2, iRacing, Assetto Corsa and more. Therefore, the term simcade exists, which is used when the game is realistic, but not as realistic as the hardcore sims. For example, people still value Richard Burns Rally as the best rally simulation ever even to this day since its release in 2004. DiRT Rally is a tough competitor for RBR, with its graphics and of course, its simulation. But if you want to experience a tough, unforgiving rally simulation, try RBR.
I gotta say, I like DiRT Rally way more than RBR. Since I'm not great at rally, I was awful at RBR haha.
And one last word on topic of simracing: raw speed alone isn't the way to win. So if you enjoy hotlapping, maybe a little too much, you will be in trouble. To be good at racing, you must both know how the car handles in racing circumstances, AND be consistent. This means the laptimes you set don't vary too much between each other in time. Ideally this is a matter of a few tenths on a normal-length course, while in longer courses it's acceptable the times would vary by a second or more, since obviously more distance means more room for error.
Me when I was around four years old.
My story
I've always been interested in racing, ever since I was born. However, due to my sensitiveness as a child, it prevented me from racing karts. My parents never urged me to take on racing though, so the topic of me racing in real life never came up. The only thing we talked about was Formula 1, which I watched as a child. We were hypothetically discussing if I became an F1 driver. I never really understood or got any pleasure from the racing itself, though, as I was only obsessed with watching crashes, how spectacular they were. But over time, as I grew, I started understanding like one should when they grow up. The two most played racing games in my childhood were Crash Team Racing and Gran Turismo 2. No one could ever beat me, obviously. I didn't really have any friends however, and my two other siblings were sisters, so I didn't have anyone sharing my passion for racing. Except dad, to a degree. But, if we talk about simracing, we never owned a PC, so simracing had to wait until we got one in the mid 2000s. But only in 2008 I got my first simracing game, rFactor. I got it from a store as a DVD, because I saw those BMW Formula ones in the back cover. That got me hyped, because of my Formula 1 interest. I installed the game, started playing, and at first I noticed how difficult it was to control with keyboard. So, I just spent my time spinning the BMW F1 in the pitlane of Nürburgring each time I exit the garage. As you can tell, it didn't make much sense. So pretty soon, like a few days later, possibly a week, I got my first simracing wheel. It was a used Logitech Wingman. I quickly Googled now and saw there exists one by the name of Logitech Wingman Formula GP. That must be it. I remember the yellow grip and the two transparent buttons. So now, I could get to it for real. To some extent, at least. It wasn't long until I started getting the hang of it, although the wheel was slightly broken as it steered a little bit to the side.
As I practiced with the Wingman I thought I should get a better wheel, this wouldn't do just yet. And so, I got a brand-new from store, Logitech Vibration Feedback wheel. It was a small, entirely black wheel with force feedback. Although it was only coming through a USB port, it changed my simracing experience almost completely. While the vibrations would be pretty soft if I tried them nowadays, back then they were incredibly heavy, as it was my first time experiencing it. It felt so good. However, it was obviously still a long way apart from a proper wheel: it had this lag where it didn't respond to my inputs for around 1 second or more, plus it lacks the spring feedback, which makes the wheel turn itself. So, it wasn't long when I was looking for a replacement. Back then I was dumb enough to judge a book by its cover and bought a cool-looking wheel which turned out to be bad in performance itself. It had deadzone in it, so turning slightly either way caused no input at all. But as I used it, it wasn't long, only days, as it broke. The other paddle shifter snapped, and then the steering went. It actually went twice, first with a loud bang and then with another, more silent one, and the steering was completely wrecked. It was even more limp than a G27 without feedback. So, time to get another wheel.
This time I got a good old Logitech again. But getting a used one again, this time it was a Logitech Momo. This is when things started to get interesting! It was a superb wheel for its age, with proper feedback and feel. But unfortunately, it had a problem with keeping its calibration correct. I'm not sure if it was a common issue with Momo or if it was just in my individual, but sometimes when I countersteered hard, the axis went off its centre, and I had to swing the wheel both ways to get it right again. This was a serious problem, so time to get yet another wheel! This time I got a wheel that would be decent to use even today, the Driving Force GT. I adored it for its GT logo in the centre, knowing my love for Gran Turismo. It also had plenty of buttons, great feedback and plenty of rotation if I wanted to use more! This is the wheel I've used the second-longest, only to be beaten by the one I have today, the G27. As you can probably imagine, the DFGT was a very good wheel but it had two flaws: its pedals were plastic and they were very sensitive. Then the second was that the paddles were buttons, as if it was a PS controller, though it obviously resembled one. So, when I had money again and was prepared to spend some more, I finally got the G27. The first individual didn't last long, however, as the potentiometer of the pedals started acting up. Thankfully I had warranty, so I got it replaced in mid 2014. Ever since I've had this individual which still works fine. For my next wheel I'm planning to get the Fanatec Servo V2 with a Formula Rim, but that's still a long time to wait, because it costs an arm and a leg.
So, that's it for the wheels, but just to sum up quickly, here's my full wheel history in order:
Logitech Wingman Formula GP ► Vibration Feedback Wheel ► (unnamed Gametech wheel) ► Momo ► Driving Force GT ► G27
Now, let's talk about my involvement in simracing. (Warning, this part will involve plenty of other sites, I hope this won't be considered as promoting them). As I mentioned before, my first game was rFactor. But I never really raced online there until 2012, when I entered Formula SimRacing. My second game, which I got soon after, was Live For Speed. I only had the demo license, until 2012, when I upgraded. Right from the start I got the game for the sole purpose of playing in the multiplayer racing site, 5laps.com. It was mainly aimed for Finnish people but you could see a few foreigners there as well. It originally started as Maailman Nopein Kansa (world's fastest folk, translated straight in English), which was promoted on TV. It was presented by a Finnish TV channel which was, and still is, responsible for broadcasting the Formula 1 races. So, ever since 2012, I've always raced somewhere online against other people each year. I began my journey in Formula SimRacing season 2012 as a complete rookie, casually practicing and driving for fun in 2011 made me think I had what it takes to race against others now. But never could I have been more wrong. I had absolutely no idea there would be people this fast, even in the lowest category of FSR, Pro (World Trophy back then). And so, my 2012 in FSR was always about getting to grid 1, which was the feature race. Most of the time however I didn't make it, due to lack of speed in the pre-qualifying.
Oh, and I must mention at this point ever since 2009 I've also been a member of Simraceway. I got to know about this via rFactor Central, which I often visited for mods and tracks when I casually played rFactor. I joined, and often competed in the events. But when Simraceway developed its own game instead of being a service running rFactor, much like 5laps with LFS, I stopped being there often. I only occasionally visited, but finally, in October of 2014, I returned full-time. But little did I know, that Simraceway would soon face a terrible fate - dying. While it's still running even today, it doesn't offer prized events (for now, at least), but only trackdays and a few quick races. As you can guess, there aren't many players out there anymore, and nearly all of the aliens have left. But, respecting GTPlanet's AUP, I won't start advertising SRW but mentioned it as a part of my story. It's truly heartbreaking as to how SRW's popularity dropped like a stone, especially as my comeback in 2014 turned out well and I finally started doing well in my career, for once. I learned a good deal in SRW, though the experiences from FSR from 2012 to 2014 helped a lot as well. SRW was like home to me, the perfect place to be, but it seems like now I have to look for something else...and that's exactly the problem. I'm not sure where I belong, so I'm wandering everywhere trying different cars and leagues in hopes of finding my thing.
In late 2014, I fell into depression. I will not however discuss that any further, but I'll just mention I'm still recovering, and feeling a lot better than I did back then. However, I am still very hollow. I don't have any local friends, as the only few reside in the town next to the city I now live in. I do have a few friends online but no one I could call a close one, as I pretty much need a friend almost just like me in order to develop a deep bond. Anywho, during my depression, simracing was almost my only comfort. It was a good way to stay occupied and distracted, so I wouldn't succumb to bad thoughts and all that kind of stuff. But even when depressed, I could still focus on simracing 100%, pushing as hard as ever. I also thought simracing was a way to make myself feel valuable instead of worthless. So, that was a thing I had, and I'm still having, to make my empty time worth it somehow, as I don't work nor study at this point. Today, I am a fairly experienced simracer with a hidden potential I'm yet to bring out to the surface, someday. I am fast, but I still have a lot to learn, and a lot to improve on, as I am absolutely no match to the best in the world. I am constantly in shock and disbelief when I see plus 1 or maybe even 2 seconds in qualifying. However, I've been able to compete with some of the best in the world, in Simraceway, and winning prizes after prizes in hotlapping events. I also did a few races and got a greater deal of money from those. But still, those achievements pale in comparison to what people are doing in the highest levels of iRacing, not to mention FSR, GPVWC and RaceDepartment. This pretty much concludes my story, now, let's move on to me as a personality.
I keep trying...for what? Time will tell.
My mindset as a simracer
I am a simracer, sort of I guess. I don't know anymore, to be honest. In the beginning I was full of confidence. But now, my mentality for racing is a little mixed and complex. My mindset, as of right now, usually consists of being nervous, impatient, pessimistic, and so on. However, don't get me wrong, that's not the real me. This is me only because I've never really achieved anything worth noting, and thus I only got a long list of bad luck occurences in my history of simracing. The continuous bad luck and own mistakes has really worn me out, but on the good side it has made me a lot more reasonable and serious. It has taught me valuable lessons, and as they say, every shortcoming we face makes us stronger. I remember I used to, maybe not necessarily brag, but confidently state I can do this and that. But those statements were never really backed up...thus, I've pretty much made that habit be a part of me no more. Now I never state anything beforehand, as the things are always settled on the racetrack. More to the point, if you say you're fast, you're going to have to prove it. Results are given at the checkered flag, not the first corner or qualifying. I also have negative outbursts very often, scolding people for forcing me off track or out the race et cetera. But understand, this is once again thanks to the long history of bad luck. I just can't handle a single shortcoming that's out of my control. I do however accept my own mistakes as they are obviously caused by me.
However, despite this negative and rather unpleasant atmosphere, there's something good in everything. In this case, despite my history, my shortcomings and my apparent lack of talent in races, I still keep trying. I try, and try, and try and after that, try some more. I keep pushing and driving as fast as I possibly can. And when I have shortcomings, depending on the quality, it can even drive me to tears, like once. I was bitterly disappointed in myself and informed I would keep a short break to calm down and think about things. However, negative outbursts are not necessarily a negative thing. While it may seem like it to people, it's actually just a sign of a true racer. As a true racer you always want to win and do your maximum, but when things go wrong, you can't just accept it and walk away. Like the great man Ayrton Senna once said, "If you no longer go for a gap which exists you are no longer a racing driver". That being said, I still consider myself a racing driver. Even after all the shortcomings, I keep trying, because I know one day I will prove myself. Just not today. Patience is the key, like we all know. I won't rush, just only on the race track.
But still, every now and then I keep wondering "Is this really my thing? Is this what I was destined for?" and so on. That's because of my lack of achievements, after almost 10 years now. I also hate it when my family and my friends don't understand, or, underestimate the whole situation. I am fast, but not fast enough, and I must improve. That way I can finally compete with the top, and then the people close to me in real life would truly understand. But not now. I am also a shy person, so in fact not my mom, my dad, or my sisters know about my identity online. That's why I'm doing my best to hide it, and only come out of my shell once I've achieved something remarkable. But for now, I keep practicing in my own pace, improving, learning and growing to a racer. I also always think how I would do in real life cars...simracing games do their best to simulate real life, but it could be a whole different thing. What if I did far better in real life compared to simracing, which I quite haven't got the grips with? No one will ever know unless I get the opportunity to try a racing car in real life and seek out those tenths. But no matter what, racing will always be my number one passion. Nothing will ever top it. From everything I've experienced so far, I created this quote: "Racing is like living. We face bad times but we have to keep on pushing."
Simracing may be my passion, but I need other things in my life as well.
Me outside of simracing
I've always liked to play console games, and, since I got to use a PC, computer games. In late 2011, I got my first ever own PC, although I didn't have the money at the time to buy it myself, so I must thank my mom for making it possible. I used it up until late 2016, exactly 5 years after I got the first one. I now have a much more powerful PC which will allow me to stream PC games, including simracing. I also don't like to upgrade in-between so I had the same build until I got the new one. So why stream? Because I am looking to maintain my YouTube channel as a hobby, only uploading videos when I feel like it and when I have material in the first place. Being a YouTuber also helps me develop my skills, as well as potentially help me find new friends, as I really need them. I do not plan to become a partnered, high-end channel, however, just a somewhat popular personality, like for example, tiametmarduk, Empty Box et cetera, By partnered however I mean being a partner with one of the most respected ones. Currently I'm partnered with RaceWorld TV. I didn't seek for the partner myself, instead, my simracing videos got noticed and I got an invitation. I first thought it was spam, but I decided to go for it, and it turned out be all legit! So, here I am, hoping my videos will be watched.
I also like to draw sometimes. However, since it's a very casual hobby, I've only really learned to draw Sonic (the hedgehog). I started that in 2008, I believe, around the same time I got rFactor. I don't know where I discovered Sonic at first, but it wasn't really a part of my childhood. The only connection to Sonic back then was a McDonalds happy meal toy, but that's all, haha. I rediscovered Sonic again and began to like it. So what's the big deal? Well, I also look forward to being a freelance artist, recognised for Sonic fan character (not to forget the canon ones though) artist. Doing requests for others is not unheard of for me, but I stopped doing them as my motivation for drawing kind of disappeared. I couldn't force myself to drawing others' characters. However, I got plans with my OCs. Since a long time ago in fact, but only now I will begin to realize it as I've gotten better with English and creativity overall, not to mention drawing. I won't say anything else at this point, as what I'm working on will be a secret until its announcement, so stay tuned, if curious!
Oh, and I originally forgot to mention this, so I edited it in now. I also got experience from real-life karts, both outdoor and indoor. I owned a kart at one point. I used to make a small little trip to the nearest local karting track and have a go. However it grew boring to drive on the same old track over and over again so we sold the kart. It was pretty intriguing while it lasted, though. And as far as center-driving goes, I've been to a few different places, some multiple times. Besides karts, I've driven a snowmobile, moped, scooter and occasionally now, a car. My first car was (and still is
) a Toyota MR2 '90. Naturally aspirated. I've uploaded videos of both karting and driving the MR2 on my channel, using a GoPro. Go have a look if you wish! That's all for my real-life driving experiences though. Also, if possible, I will visit a trackday with my beloved one to try her limits...that's still undecided though.
Fun fact: The heritage of the checkered flag
According to the heritage, the usage of the checkered flag began following an accident during the early 1900s. During a race held in France, it was noticed only at the last minute that the signal flag was forgotten. One of the organizers sprinted to the nearest house and took the kitchen's large checkered tablecloth. That cloth was then used to signal the end of the race - as well as this post! Thanks to those who had the patience to read all of this, or at least a big portion of it. Please leave feedback below, if anything rose on top of your mind.
First things first, why GTPlanet? Because simracing is not unheard of on GTPlanet and the site also has a large, active community with racing enthusiasts alike. I didn't know where to post this at first, but then I realized GTPlanet is the perfect place. So, here I am. I'm hoping this will receive plenty of feedback, attracting both simracers with a similar mindset, as well as people who might not be that familiar with simracing. Mind you, I also don't post to forums often at all, let alone make detailed ones. I put a good deal of effort, time and thought on this post. So, let's get it on shall we? Start your engines!
The image is courtesy of GPVWC
Definition of simracing
Simracing. What is it? Just what is it? I'll tell you what it is. Simracing is the virtual equivalent/counterpart of real life motorsports: racing against other people on your PC, with proper peripherals and simulation. Sounds simple, right? Well, it is far from it. It's one thing to know how to drive, but a completely another to do it fast. Just like in real racing, you must use all of the track available, brake as late as you can, and maintain a smooth driving style and line. Simracing has a very steep learning curve. This is a combination of driving skills, and car knowledge. While it's obvious that driving skills are a key factor to be successful in simracing, the question is, how to be fast. This does not only include taming the car and pushing it to its limit, but also how to fine-tune it.
Unlike some racing games, you can set up a car to optimize it for the track you're on. Pretty much all professional simracing leagues have open setups, and as such, knowing how to set up the car for each track is crucial. While it may seem like it merely means adjusting the car to one's driving style, it can be a huge factor in speed differences. This means that even a world class simracer on default setups can lose to a less experienced driver who knows how to make setups. But obviously, there is no "magic" setup that is above all others. Setups are flexible and though they can differ a lot, they can produce equal pace. So, while you may have got the driving part, if you don't know how to make setups, you will fall short, like me. I know how to drive fast but I still haven't quite understood car dynamics. I do know basics, but I'm far from great with setups. So, I still got a lot of learning to do.
Racing games can be mistaken as pure-blooded simracing, such as Gran Turismo and Forza. Hardcore simracing games, or rather, simulators, include rFactor 2, iRacing, Assetto Corsa and more. Therefore, the term simcade exists, which is used when the game is realistic, but not as realistic as the hardcore sims. For example, people still value Richard Burns Rally as the best rally simulation ever even to this day since its release in 2004. DiRT Rally is a tough competitor for RBR, with its graphics and of course, its simulation. But if you want to experience a tough, unforgiving rally simulation, try RBR.
I gotta say, I like DiRT Rally way more than RBR. Since I'm not great at rally, I was awful at RBR haha.
And one last word on topic of simracing: raw speed alone isn't the way to win. So if you enjoy hotlapping, maybe a little too much, you will be in trouble. To be good at racing, you must both know how the car handles in racing circumstances, AND be consistent. This means the laptimes you set don't vary too much between each other in time. Ideally this is a matter of a few tenths on a normal-length course, while in longer courses it's acceptable the times would vary by a second or more, since obviously more distance means more room for error.
Me when I was around four years old.
My story
I've always been interested in racing, ever since I was born. However, due to my sensitiveness as a child, it prevented me from racing karts. My parents never urged me to take on racing though, so the topic of me racing in real life never came up. The only thing we talked about was Formula 1, which I watched as a child. We were hypothetically discussing if I became an F1 driver. I never really understood or got any pleasure from the racing itself, though, as I was only obsessed with watching crashes, how spectacular they were. But over time, as I grew, I started understanding like one should when they grow up. The two most played racing games in my childhood were Crash Team Racing and Gran Turismo 2. No one could ever beat me, obviously. I didn't really have any friends however, and my two other siblings were sisters, so I didn't have anyone sharing my passion for racing. Except dad, to a degree. But, if we talk about simracing, we never owned a PC, so simracing had to wait until we got one in the mid 2000s. But only in 2008 I got my first simracing game, rFactor. I got it from a store as a DVD, because I saw those BMW Formula ones in the back cover. That got me hyped, because of my Formula 1 interest. I installed the game, started playing, and at first I noticed how difficult it was to control with keyboard. So, I just spent my time spinning the BMW F1 in the pitlane of Nürburgring each time I exit the garage. As you can tell, it didn't make much sense. So pretty soon, like a few days later, possibly a week, I got my first simracing wheel. It was a used Logitech Wingman. I quickly Googled now and saw there exists one by the name of Logitech Wingman Formula GP. That must be it. I remember the yellow grip and the two transparent buttons. So now, I could get to it for real. To some extent, at least. It wasn't long until I started getting the hang of it, although the wheel was slightly broken as it steered a little bit to the side.
As I practiced with the Wingman I thought I should get a better wheel, this wouldn't do just yet. And so, I got a brand-new from store, Logitech Vibration Feedback wheel. It was a small, entirely black wheel with force feedback. Although it was only coming through a USB port, it changed my simracing experience almost completely. While the vibrations would be pretty soft if I tried them nowadays, back then they were incredibly heavy, as it was my first time experiencing it. It felt so good. However, it was obviously still a long way apart from a proper wheel: it had this lag where it didn't respond to my inputs for around 1 second or more, plus it lacks the spring feedback, which makes the wheel turn itself. So, it wasn't long when I was looking for a replacement. Back then I was dumb enough to judge a book by its cover and bought a cool-looking wheel which turned out to be bad in performance itself. It had deadzone in it, so turning slightly either way caused no input at all. But as I used it, it wasn't long, only days, as it broke. The other paddle shifter snapped, and then the steering went. It actually went twice, first with a loud bang and then with another, more silent one, and the steering was completely wrecked. It was even more limp than a G27 without feedback. So, time to get another wheel.
This time I got a good old Logitech again. But getting a used one again, this time it was a Logitech Momo. This is when things started to get interesting! It was a superb wheel for its age, with proper feedback and feel. But unfortunately, it had a problem with keeping its calibration correct. I'm not sure if it was a common issue with Momo or if it was just in my individual, but sometimes when I countersteered hard, the axis went off its centre, and I had to swing the wheel both ways to get it right again. This was a serious problem, so time to get yet another wheel! This time I got a wheel that would be decent to use even today, the Driving Force GT. I adored it for its GT logo in the centre, knowing my love for Gran Turismo. It also had plenty of buttons, great feedback and plenty of rotation if I wanted to use more! This is the wheel I've used the second-longest, only to be beaten by the one I have today, the G27. As you can probably imagine, the DFGT was a very good wheel but it had two flaws: its pedals were plastic and they were very sensitive. Then the second was that the paddles were buttons, as if it was a PS controller, though it obviously resembled one. So, when I had money again and was prepared to spend some more, I finally got the G27. The first individual didn't last long, however, as the potentiometer of the pedals started acting up. Thankfully I had warranty, so I got it replaced in mid 2014. Ever since I've had this individual which still works fine. For my next wheel I'm planning to get the Fanatec Servo V2 with a Formula Rim, but that's still a long time to wait, because it costs an arm and a leg.
So, that's it for the wheels, but just to sum up quickly, here's my full wheel history in order:
Logitech Wingman Formula GP ► Vibration Feedback Wheel ► (unnamed Gametech wheel) ► Momo ► Driving Force GT ► G27
Now, let's talk about my involvement in simracing. (Warning, this part will involve plenty of other sites, I hope this won't be considered as promoting them). As I mentioned before, my first game was rFactor. But I never really raced online there until 2012, when I entered Formula SimRacing. My second game, which I got soon after, was Live For Speed. I only had the demo license, until 2012, when I upgraded. Right from the start I got the game for the sole purpose of playing in the multiplayer racing site, 5laps.com. It was mainly aimed for Finnish people but you could see a few foreigners there as well. It originally started as Maailman Nopein Kansa (world's fastest folk, translated straight in English), which was promoted on TV. It was presented by a Finnish TV channel which was, and still is, responsible for broadcasting the Formula 1 races. So, ever since 2012, I've always raced somewhere online against other people each year. I began my journey in Formula SimRacing season 2012 as a complete rookie, casually practicing and driving for fun in 2011 made me think I had what it takes to race against others now. But never could I have been more wrong. I had absolutely no idea there would be people this fast, even in the lowest category of FSR, Pro (World Trophy back then). And so, my 2012 in FSR was always about getting to grid 1, which was the feature race. Most of the time however I didn't make it, due to lack of speed in the pre-qualifying.
Oh, and I must mention at this point ever since 2009 I've also been a member of Simraceway. I got to know about this via rFactor Central, which I often visited for mods and tracks when I casually played rFactor. I joined, and often competed in the events. But when Simraceway developed its own game instead of being a service running rFactor, much like 5laps with LFS, I stopped being there often. I only occasionally visited, but finally, in October of 2014, I returned full-time. But little did I know, that Simraceway would soon face a terrible fate - dying. While it's still running even today, it doesn't offer prized events (for now, at least), but only trackdays and a few quick races. As you can guess, there aren't many players out there anymore, and nearly all of the aliens have left. But, respecting GTPlanet's AUP, I won't start advertising SRW but mentioned it as a part of my story. It's truly heartbreaking as to how SRW's popularity dropped like a stone, especially as my comeback in 2014 turned out well and I finally started doing well in my career, for once. I learned a good deal in SRW, though the experiences from FSR from 2012 to 2014 helped a lot as well. SRW was like home to me, the perfect place to be, but it seems like now I have to look for something else...and that's exactly the problem. I'm not sure where I belong, so I'm wandering everywhere trying different cars and leagues in hopes of finding my thing.
In late 2014, I fell into depression. I will not however discuss that any further, but I'll just mention I'm still recovering, and feeling a lot better than I did back then. However, I am still very hollow. I don't have any local friends, as the only few reside in the town next to the city I now live in. I do have a few friends online but no one I could call a close one, as I pretty much need a friend almost just like me in order to develop a deep bond. Anywho, during my depression, simracing was almost my only comfort. It was a good way to stay occupied and distracted, so I wouldn't succumb to bad thoughts and all that kind of stuff. But even when depressed, I could still focus on simracing 100%, pushing as hard as ever. I also thought simracing was a way to make myself feel valuable instead of worthless. So, that was a thing I had, and I'm still having, to make my empty time worth it somehow, as I don't work nor study at this point. Today, I am a fairly experienced simracer with a hidden potential I'm yet to bring out to the surface, someday. I am fast, but I still have a lot to learn, and a lot to improve on, as I am absolutely no match to the best in the world. I am constantly in shock and disbelief when I see plus 1 or maybe even 2 seconds in qualifying. However, I've been able to compete with some of the best in the world, in Simraceway, and winning prizes after prizes in hotlapping events. I also did a few races and got a greater deal of money from those. But still, those achievements pale in comparison to what people are doing in the highest levels of iRacing, not to mention FSR, GPVWC and RaceDepartment. This pretty much concludes my story, now, let's move on to me as a personality.
I keep trying...for what? Time will tell.
My mindset as a simracer
I am a simracer, sort of I guess. I don't know anymore, to be honest. In the beginning I was full of confidence. But now, my mentality for racing is a little mixed and complex. My mindset, as of right now, usually consists of being nervous, impatient, pessimistic, and so on. However, don't get me wrong, that's not the real me. This is me only because I've never really achieved anything worth noting, and thus I only got a long list of bad luck occurences in my history of simracing. The continuous bad luck and own mistakes has really worn me out, but on the good side it has made me a lot more reasonable and serious. It has taught me valuable lessons, and as they say, every shortcoming we face makes us stronger. I remember I used to, maybe not necessarily brag, but confidently state I can do this and that. But those statements were never really backed up...thus, I've pretty much made that habit be a part of me no more. Now I never state anything beforehand, as the things are always settled on the racetrack. More to the point, if you say you're fast, you're going to have to prove it. Results are given at the checkered flag, not the first corner or qualifying. I also have negative outbursts very often, scolding people for forcing me off track or out the race et cetera. But understand, this is once again thanks to the long history of bad luck. I just can't handle a single shortcoming that's out of my control. I do however accept my own mistakes as they are obviously caused by me.
However, despite this negative and rather unpleasant atmosphere, there's something good in everything. In this case, despite my history, my shortcomings and my apparent lack of talent in races, I still keep trying. I try, and try, and try and after that, try some more. I keep pushing and driving as fast as I possibly can. And when I have shortcomings, depending on the quality, it can even drive me to tears, like once. I was bitterly disappointed in myself and informed I would keep a short break to calm down and think about things. However, negative outbursts are not necessarily a negative thing. While it may seem like it to people, it's actually just a sign of a true racer. As a true racer you always want to win and do your maximum, but when things go wrong, you can't just accept it and walk away. Like the great man Ayrton Senna once said, "If you no longer go for a gap which exists you are no longer a racing driver". That being said, I still consider myself a racing driver. Even after all the shortcomings, I keep trying, because I know one day I will prove myself. Just not today. Patience is the key, like we all know. I won't rush, just only on the race track.
But still, every now and then I keep wondering "Is this really my thing? Is this what I was destined for?" and so on. That's because of my lack of achievements, after almost 10 years now. I also hate it when my family and my friends don't understand, or, underestimate the whole situation. I am fast, but not fast enough, and I must improve. That way I can finally compete with the top, and then the people close to me in real life would truly understand. But not now. I am also a shy person, so in fact not my mom, my dad, or my sisters know about my identity online. That's why I'm doing my best to hide it, and only come out of my shell once I've achieved something remarkable. But for now, I keep practicing in my own pace, improving, learning and growing to a racer. I also always think how I would do in real life cars...simracing games do their best to simulate real life, but it could be a whole different thing. What if I did far better in real life compared to simracing, which I quite haven't got the grips with? No one will ever know unless I get the opportunity to try a racing car in real life and seek out those tenths. But no matter what, racing will always be my number one passion. Nothing will ever top it. From everything I've experienced so far, I created this quote: "Racing is like living. We face bad times but we have to keep on pushing."
Simracing may be my passion, but I need other things in my life as well.
Me outside of simracing
I've always liked to play console games, and, since I got to use a PC, computer games. In late 2011, I got my first ever own PC, although I didn't have the money at the time to buy it myself, so I must thank my mom for making it possible. I used it up until late 2016, exactly 5 years after I got the first one. I now have a much more powerful PC which will allow me to stream PC games, including simracing. I also don't like to upgrade in-between so I had the same build until I got the new one. So why stream? Because I am looking to maintain my YouTube channel as a hobby, only uploading videos when I feel like it and when I have material in the first place. Being a YouTuber also helps me develop my skills, as well as potentially help me find new friends, as I really need them. I do not plan to become a partnered, high-end channel, however, just a somewhat popular personality, like for example, tiametmarduk, Empty Box et cetera, By partnered however I mean being a partner with one of the most respected ones. Currently I'm partnered with RaceWorld TV. I didn't seek for the partner myself, instead, my simracing videos got noticed and I got an invitation. I first thought it was spam, but I decided to go for it, and it turned out be all legit! So, here I am, hoping my videos will be watched.
I also like to draw sometimes. However, since it's a very casual hobby, I've only really learned to draw Sonic (the hedgehog). I started that in 2008, I believe, around the same time I got rFactor. I don't know where I discovered Sonic at first, but it wasn't really a part of my childhood. The only connection to Sonic back then was a McDonalds happy meal toy, but that's all, haha. I rediscovered Sonic again and began to like it. So what's the big deal? Well, I also look forward to being a freelance artist, recognised for Sonic fan character (not to forget the canon ones though) artist. Doing requests for others is not unheard of for me, but I stopped doing them as my motivation for drawing kind of disappeared. I couldn't force myself to drawing others' characters. However, I got plans with my OCs. Since a long time ago in fact, but only now I will begin to realize it as I've gotten better with English and creativity overall, not to mention drawing. I won't say anything else at this point, as what I'm working on will be a secret until its announcement, so stay tuned, if curious!
Oh, and I originally forgot to mention this, so I edited it in now. I also got experience from real-life karts, both outdoor and indoor. I owned a kart at one point. I used to make a small little trip to the nearest local karting track and have a go. However it grew boring to drive on the same old track over and over again so we sold the kart. It was pretty intriguing while it lasted, though. And as far as center-driving goes, I've been to a few different places, some multiple times. Besides karts, I've driven a snowmobile, moped, scooter and occasionally now, a car. My first car was (and still is
) a Toyota MR2 '90. Naturally aspirated. I've uploaded videos of both karting and driving the MR2 on my channel, using a GoPro. Go have a look if you wish! That's all for my real-life driving experiences though. Also, if possible, I will visit a trackday with my beloved one to try her limits...that's still undecided though.
Fun fact: The heritage of the checkered flag
According to the heritage, the usage of the checkered flag began following an accident during the early 1900s. During a race held in France, it was noticed only at the last minute that the signal flag was forgotten. One of the organizers sprinted to the nearest house and took the kitchen's large checkered tablecloth. That cloth was then used to signal the end of the race - as well as this post! Thanks to those who had the patience to read all of this, or at least a big portion of it. Please leave feedback below, if anything rose on top of your mind.
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