Afghan Jokes-read!!!!

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SandStorm

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I've entitled this 1 "A walk in 2032"

A man and his son were walking highly built up Manhattan when they came across an empty space and the father stops to reflect 4 a while.

"Imagine son" the father says "exactly 31 years ago the great Twin Towers stood proudly in this area"

Intrigued by the comment the son then asks "what were the Twin Towers dad?"

To which the father replies "they were 2 of the largest buildings in the world and they housed many thousands of offices... but in 2001 they were destroyed by Afgans"

The son pauses 4 a while before asking "what were Afgans dad?"

Get it? The Afgans were WIPED OUT before this boy's time. YEAH!!!!
 
Originally posted by Jazza
I've entitled this 1 "A walk in 2032"

A man and his son were walking highly built up Manhattan when they came across an empty space and the father stops to reflect 4 a while.

"Imagine son" the father says "exactly 31 years ago the great Twin Towers stood proudly in this area"

Intrigued by the comment the son then asks "what were the Twin Towers dad?"

To which the father replies "they were 2 of the largest buildings in the world and they housed many thousands of offices... but in 2001 they were destroyed by Afgans"

The son pauses 4 a while before asking "what were Afgans dad?"

Get it? The Afgans were WIPED OUT before this boy's time. YEAH!!!!

Er - would this be a good time to point out that the alleged perpetrator was a Saudi-led extreme Islamic network, the host of which is a non-popularly elected extremist faction which is subject to extreme internal dissent?

Your target is Al Qaeda, not the Afghans. 95% of the Afghans are victims - their losses exceed even those of the outrage of the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon.

Maintain focus...
 
Originally posted by vat_man


Er - would this be a good time to point out that the alleged perpetrator was a Saudi-led extreme Islamic network, the host of which is a non-popularly elected extremist faction which is subject to extreme internal dissent?

Your target is Al Qaeda, not the Afghans. 95% of the Afghans are victims - their losses exceed even those of the outrage of the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon.

Maintain focus...

Oh' fuk you vat_man lets not get technical here mate. If you want me to I'll change the Afghans to Al Qaeda. Would that make you happy?

Thanx
Mr GT2
 
This one is called "Dumb Terrorists"

4 Islam terrorists were picked up just outside of Kununurra (rural town in Western Australia). Billy bin Drinkin, Billy bin Smokin, Paddy bin Stealin, but their mate Iva bin Workin was nowhere to be seen.

These terrorists, they were picked up trying to steal a car and drive it into Ayres Rock.

Thanx
Mr GT2
 
READ THIS I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!



Bush was over in Afganistan and talking to Osama. Osama had a gizmo that when he pressed the button Bush slapped himself. Bush and him were talking and Osama pushed the button and Bush slapped himself. Bush said he better quit or he will regret it, Osama said ok. They started talking again and Osama pushed the button again and Bush slapped himself. Bush got mad and repeated his last statemment with more anger. Osama apolagized and they continued in conversation. Osama thought it would be funny to do it again so he did. Bush got mad and said MEET ME IN THE U.S. IN 24 HOURS. So 24 hours later Osama and Bush were in the White House talking. Bush had a gizmo of his own. They were both talking and Bush predded the button and Osama flinched. Bush laughed. Osama said whats so funny? Bush said nothing. Then Osama said, nothing happend when you pressed the button. Bush lightly laughed and said he was sorry. Then Bush started laughing histericlly! Osama got mad at this and said MEET ME IN AFGANISTAN IN 24 HOURS! Bush replied, "What Afganistan,I just blew it up with the touch of this button!"
 
Well, excuse me for having an appreciation for the big picture, boys.

There's a difference between PC and actually knowing the facts.

I want Bin Laden brought back in a bag and I want the Taliban thrown out, but it's not the Afghanistani people you're after.

Check www.rawa.org and see what the Taliban are doing to their own people.
 
Originally posted by Jazza
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!...

Sorry

THAT'S HILARIOUS VIPERCONCEPT!!


I thought it was funny myself. I didnt think it was that funny. :P
 
Hey, I just wanna pledge my support 4 u guys over there in America.
LET THE TALIBAN TREMBLE AT THE POWER OF THE ALLIES!!

Thanx
Mr GT2
 
This is something that could happen at a work station in your neighborhood.





We've been notified by Building Security that there have been 4 suspected
terrorists working at our office. Three of the four have been apprehended.
Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody.


Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of
the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the office.


Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very
easy to spot.
 
Mullah Mohammed Hasan Akhund, the deputy Taliban leader, and George W. Bush
agree to meet in Kabul for the first round of talks in an anti-terrorism
process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the arm of
Akhund's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Akhund presses


the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and
punches Bush in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Akhund laughs.


A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot
comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Akhund laughs, and again George
carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between
the two

countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out
and kicks Bush square in the privates, he's finally had enough.

"I'm headin' back home!" he calmly tells the Afghan. "We'll finish these
talks in Washington in two weeks!"

2 weeks pass and Akhund flies to the United States for talks. As the two
men sit down, Akhund notices three buttons on Bush's chair arm and prepares
himself for the Texan's retaliation. They begin talking and George presses
the first button. Akhund ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers but
they continue talking. A few minutes later he presses the second button.
Akhund jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. They
continue the talks but when the third button is pressed, Akhund jumps up
again, but again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of
hysterics.

"Forget this," says Akhund. "I'm going back to Afghanistan!"

George W. says, through tears of laughter, "WHAT Afghanistan?"...
 
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us
for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,
moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop
us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us
do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff
like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even
armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and
their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left
already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good
man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.
We have nothing to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and
the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a
pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan
with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware
stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no
problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh,
please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended
families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for
how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We
know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without
the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we
crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should,too!
 
Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned
about his mortality, goes to
consult a psychic about the date of his death.
Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the
realm of the future she finds
the answer.
"You will die on an American holiday."
"Which one?" Osama bin Laden asks nervously.
"It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever
you die, it will be an
American holiday."
 
CHICAGO - The war on terrorism took a strange and sad turn Friday as
airline officials at Ohare International Airport refused to let a 73 year
old grandmother board her plane as she had in her possession two, six inch
knitting needles. Apparently authorities were worried that she may knit
an Afghan.
 
Two men, both billionaires. One develops relatively cheap software and
gives hundreds of millions of dollars to charity. The other sponsors
terrorism. That being the case, why is it that the US government has
spent more money chasing down Bill Gates over the past ten years than
Osama bin Laden?
 
Have you seen this one?
 

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Originally posted by Jazza
This one is called "Dumb Terrorists"

4 Islam terrorists were picked up just outside of Kununurra (rural town in Western Australia). Billy bin Drinkin, Billy bin Smokin, Paddy bin Stealin, but their mate Iva bin Workin was nowhere to be seen.

These terrorists, they were picked up trying to steal a car and drive it into Ayres Rock.

Thanx
Mr GT2

Ok, I ****ed that one up, didn't I?
 
Don't know if someone wrote this, but here it goes anyway:

Three guys, A Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day.

They come across a lantern and a genie pops out.

"I will give you each one wish, thats three wishes total," says the genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of an eye, Poof the land was forever fertile in Canada.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, a blink of an eye, and it was done.

Uncle Sam, a former civil engineer, asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The genie explains, "Well, its about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out--virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."
 
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