- 1,439
I thought I would show all of you the famous quotes of my english teacher. If you could see a picture of him and heard how he talked...man it's just too good. Anyways, here they are:
"Living at home with you must be like living in hell!"
"I see a hand...there she goes...I lost another kid."
"I'm sure when they made up these rules they didn't think they would have ten kids and name them the same name like George Foreman."
"He's not syaing he doesn't like you because you are a republican. He is saying he doesn't like you because there must be something wrong with you for being a republican in the first place. You must have a learning disorder or something."
"Justin, you now have wasted two minutes of my life."
Sam: "weren't we on vacation last week?"
Captain H, Mr. Funky Pants: "Depending on the drug, yes."
"Kengo (foreign exchange student from Japan), two thing you need to know about America. One: If women smile at you it is a bad thing. Two: Americans are killers and they will kill you"
______________________________________________________
NEW ****! HURRAH!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If I was principal, I would put medication in all the food, saved in the cafeteria."
"You are laughing because holes(the hole punch) fell down on me? You are easily amused child."
"Women are hella big..."
"When she takes off her glasses...wow...she's not ugly."
"You and me bro, losers into eternity"
"Marsupials...(giggles)...Wombat...(giggles)...Wombats....I bet they are delicious! And kangaroo ribs with Kansas BBQ sauce! mmmmm..."
"I'm doing important crap."
"If they'd let me I'd be drinking..."
"There is nothing wrong with you guys that a bucket of soapy water and torn up dollar bills can't fix."
"I've known a lot of drug addicts, and you huys would be bad drug addicts. I mean you have to kill and steal to get your fix not like 'Hey mom I need a $100 bucks, I'm gonna go buy drugs"
"I feel bad because god didn't give me one more chance to drown myself"
"If I'm the hardest teacher in the school, it's because I grade sober."
"If you think white os flattering color your parents need to hit you in the head with a slipper."
"You think that everyone's heart can become warm and fuzzy like meatball under a couch for a month."
(singing)"I stomp on my bones, oh, stomp on my bones, stomp on my bones, ALL THE WAY TO CHINA!"(/singing)
"This is such a nice gift! I'm gonna be really sad when I give you all D's in February."
"I especially like it because it has violence on it."
"Girls nowadays can walk down the hallways half naked with their belly button earrings showing"
"A 70 year old man can take viagra and have sex with 50 women in 1 night."
"Why is my daughter Trigger failing the class?"
"I run throught the halls elbowing kids in the face just to get outta here."
"Mr Heard you're gonna hit her if you keep throwing those books so hard!"
-Ford Williams
"I'm gonna hit her if she doesn't catch it!"
-Mr Heard
On Australia:
"When was Sydney founded?"
"Late 1700's?"
"Did they have enough convicts to build a city back then?
(laughs)
"DID THEY HAVE ENOUGH MARSUPIALS TO CARRY THE LUMBER!"
Mr. Heard on weed (not actually...but man wouldn't that be freakin sweet):
"Did you know that if you have marijuana in your car in the Mriamonte school parking lot that they can impound your car?"
"That means that when you are dirving in your dad's $60,000 Mercedes with a fat blunt in your hand you could be arrested?!"
"It's like thiniking like a navajo indian."
"Why don't you go buy some drugs and be dead in like a year."
"Dad brought home two Buicks? ISN'T THAT A PROUD DAY FOR YOUR FAMILY!"
"Keep playing with yourself, whatever you are doing..."
"It's the quiet kid who always pulls out the uzi at the end of class."
"It's like Gladiator, except it's not interesting."
"That's how I vote, 'Oh! I like that!' "
"One time I voted for every communist!"
"And then there was the time I had woke up and I knew Regan was already president, but I voted for him [that morning] anyway"
"Anybody who tries to get answers passed from Jeremy Goldman has already lost in the game of life."
"You're as useless as a poodle."
"Why did the teenage girl cross the road?"
"Three answers
-Her mother told her not to
-Her friends told her to
-That's not funny"
"It's hot in here because it's like hell."
"Look at the 2000 elections, democracy works! Look at the war in Iraq, democracy works!"
"You can't just put commas where you are out of breath, because you will punctuate sentences different when you are high."
"It's hard to find votes in here, as it is to find a beating heart in the white house."
"Living at home with you must be like living in hell!"
"I see a hand...there she goes...I lost another kid."
"I'm sure when they made up these rules they didn't think they would have ten kids and name them the same name like George Foreman."
"He's not syaing he doesn't like you because you are a republican. He is saying he doesn't like you because there must be something wrong with you for being a republican in the first place. You must have a learning disorder or something."
"Justin, you now have wasted two minutes of my life."
Sam: "weren't we on vacation last week?"
Captain H, Mr. Funky Pants: "Depending on the drug, yes."
"Kengo (foreign exchange student from Japan), two thing you need to know about America. One: If women smile at you it is a bad thing. Two: Americans are killers and they will kill you"
______________________________________________________
NEW ****! HURRAH!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If I was principal, I would put medication in all the food, saved in the cafeteria."
"You are laughing because holes(the hole punch) fell down on me? You are easily amused child."
"Women are hella big..."
"When she takes off her glasses...wow...she's not ugly."
"You and me bro, losers into eternity"
"Marsupials...(giggles)...Wombat...(giggles)...Wombats....I bet they are delicious! And kangaroo ribs with Kansas BBQ sauce! mmmmm..."
"I'm doing important crap."
"If they'd let me I'd be drinking..."
"There is nothing wrong with you guys that a bucket of soapy water and torn up dollar bills can't fix."
"I've known a lot of drug addicts, and you huys would be bad drug addicts. I mean you have to kill and steal to get your fix not like 'Hey mom I need a $100 bucks, I'm gonna go buy drugs"
"I feel bad because god didn't give me one more chance to drown myself"
"If I'm the hardest teacher in the school, it's because I grade sober."
"If you think white os flattering color your parents need to hit you in the head with a slipper."
"You think that everyone's heart can become warm and fuzzy like meatball under a couch for a month."
(singing)"I stomp on my bones, oh, stomp on my bones, stomp on my bones, ALL THE WAY TO CHINA!"(/singing)
"This is such a nice gift! I'm gonna be really sad when I give you all D's in February."
"I especially like it because it has violence on it."
"Girls nowadays can walk down the hallways half naked with their belly button earrings showing"
"A 70 year old man can take viagra and have sex with 50 women in 1 night."
"Why is my daughter Trigger failing the class?"
"I run throught the halls elbowing kids in the face just to get outta here."
"Mr Heard you're gonna hit her if you keep throwing those books so hard!"
-Ford Williams
"I'm gonna hit her if she doesn't catch it!"
-Mr Heard
On Australia:
"When was Sydney founded?"
"Late 1700's?"
"Did they have enough convicts to build a city back then?
(laughs)
"DID THEY HAVE ENOUGH MARSUPIALS TO CARRY THE LUMBER!"
Mr. Heard on weed (not actually...but man wouldn't that be freakin sweet):
"Did you know that if you have marijuana in your car in the Mriamonte school parking lot that they can impound your car?"
"That means that when you are dirving in your dad's $60,000 Mercedes with a fat blunt in your hand you could be arrested?!"
"It's like thiniking like a navajo indian."
"Why don't you go buy some drugs and be dead in like a year."
"Dad brought home two Buicks? ISN'T THAT A PROUD DAY FOR YOUR FAMILY!"
"Keep playing with yourself, whatever you are doing..."
"It's the quiet kid who always pulls out the uzi at the end of class."
"It's like Gladiator, except it's not interesting."
"That's how I vote, 'Oh! I like that!' "
"One time I voted for every communist!"
"And then there was the time I had woke up and I knew Regan was already president, but I voted for him [that morning] anyway"
"Anybody who tries to get answers passed from Jeremy Goldman has already lost in the game of life."
"You're as useless as a poodle."
"Why did the teenage girl cross the road?"
"Three answers
-Her mother told her not to
-Her friends told her to
-That's not funny"
"It's hot in here because it's like hell."
"Look at the 2000 elections, democracy works! Look at the war in Iraq, democracy works!"
"You can't just put commas where you are out of breath, because you will punctuate sentences different when you are high."
"It's hard to find votes in here, as it is to find a beating heart in the white house."
). 
