Alone In The Dark takes the prize...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Anderton Prime
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Anderton Prime

Anderton Prime

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...for being the absolute, bar-none WORST movie I have ever seen in a movie theatre in my LIFE.

My friend and I had originally set out to see Hide and Seek with DeNiro, but it was sold out all night, so we settled for the only other movie playing that we hadn't seen. And it turned out to be the biggest mistake of all time.

What's worse, I can't really even explain why this movie was bad. Of course, it fuels the argument that Tara Reid should never be put in front of a camera ever again. And of course the "creatures" in this movie are the cheapest computer-generated ripoffs I have ever come across.

I've seen better plots, acting and special effects in straight-to-video sequels such as Boa Vs. Python. In fact, why the hell was Alone In The Dark ever released in theatres in the first place? Christian Slater, Stephen Dorff, and Tara Reid sure sounds like a straight-to-video cast to me.

If you like crap, get off the couch and go see this movie. However, if you have one shred of common sense in you, run like hell and get as far away from ANY theatres playing this turd as humanly possible.

While watching it, I wished I was alone in the dark, so I could put a bullet in my head in privacy and solitude.

The Toronto Star reviewed this movie and gave it one star, so I should have known. They also said that anyone who actually pays $10.00 to see it should be refunded $11.00 and given a full written apology by the studio...
 
Alone in The Dark doesn't use the story from the PC game. That should have told you something right there.
 
I remember playing a girl in the PC game... Bad graphics (well...all games were back then) but it was freaky as hell...and when the girl dies the monster that killed her drags her dead body into some room... That was scary...

And the preview of the movie... Shows a military group of some sort? That is too big a difference from the game!! And the title doesn't make sense... Alone? Alone where? Maybe with 3 main characters... I'll tolerate that... sheesh...

BTW did you watch House of the Dead? I was dragged in by my stupid friends.. And after the movie ended... I concluded that I am never watching a damn game based movie ever (though only the title was the same...) It was horrifyingly crappy!! Best part of the movie was a couple chicks tits... Why didn't they have them naked throughout the whole movie? At least that would make it more interesting...
 
Thanks for the heads up! I was looking forward to this movie, but I'll just rent it or see it at the bargain theater instead.


animateria
BTW did you watch House of the Dead? I was dragged in by my stupid friends.. And after the movie ended... I concluded that I am never watching a damn game based movie ever (though only the title was the same...) It was horrifyingly crappy!! Best part of the movie was a couple chicks tits... Why didn't they have them naked throughout the whole movie? At least that would make it more interesting...
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That was pretty horrible. I see what you are saying about the video game based movies too, they are bad almost 100% of the time. I did like the Resident Evil(the first) though. What did you think about that one?
 
The same director directed both House Of The Dead and Alone In The Dark.

We both knew it was going to be crap, but we didn't feel like going home again so we went in anyway. All we did was laugh and groan with the other 6 people in the theatre. And now I'm bringing my warning to you all.
 
The same director is making FarCry.

I think I'm going to Cry, personally.
 
Rossell
The same director is making FarCry.

I think I'm going to Cry, personally.
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!!!!!!!!! What!!!!!!!!!

Where does that idiot get his money from? I can't believe they are letting him make another one when it is obvious that he has no idea what he is doing!!! :dunce:
 
I havent seen either of thoes two recent films of his, bu it appears they are both stinkers in which case this guy shouldn't be doing other films based on games, however he might be the few directors willing to do films based on games.
 
Yes, this is true. But people like Joel Schumacher, Paul W.S. Anderson, and the fool who directed these two movies will somehow ALWAYS find a way to keep making movies. I mean, who the hell decided that Alien Vs. Predator, a movie fans of TWO franchises have been waiting years for, should be directed by a moron who specializes in destroying video-game-to-movie transitions such as Resident Evil 1 & 2, and that it should be made into a PG13 suckfest?
 
Anderton Prime
Yes, this is true. But people like Joel Schumacher, Paul W.S. Anderson, and the fool who directed these two movies will somehow ALWAYS find a way to keep making movies. I mean, who the hell decided that Alien Vs. Predator, a movie fans of TWO franchises have been waiting years for, should be directed by a moron who specializes in destroying video-game-to-movie transitions such as Resident Evil 1 & 2, and that it should be made into a PG13 suckfest?
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I heard about the Alien vs. Predator, years ago from my friend. I was expecting an Aliens(Alien Part II) type film featuring Aliens fighting Predators instead of the humans. I still can't get over how bad that movie was. Towards the end of that movie, I almost started laughing, it was sooooo bad!
 
Atleast Alien Vs. Predator was better than Freddy Vs. Jason.. Bleugh!
 
Acid X
Atleast Alien Vs. Predator was better than Freddy Vs. Jason.. Bleugh!
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Really? I thought Freddy Vs. Jason was good fun. Ridiculous, yes, but still fun. It was gory enough for a horror movie. You also have to lower your expectations whenever you watch a movie with "Vs." in the title.
 
Why can't he stop! He's also making a Counter-Strike movie..

I think I'm gonna cry too
 
Oh for the love of god, it wen't too far a good while ago, but a counter strike movie. Are you seriouse.
 
"Ben Affleck and Colin Farrell, both avid fans of the game, have expressed interest in the project. However, the studio is leaning towards using animatronic animals in favor of human actors."

What the hell. If they can get Colin Farrel, use him. Screw animatronics just because of the topic the film is based on. God I really don't get these film makers, do they even have a clue what people want to watch.

The problem is theres far too many people who'l find out theres a film based on counter strike and think thats cool and go and see it no matter what the films like. If people stopped watching utter ****e at the cinemas it'd stop being made.
 
Anderton Prime
You also have to lower your expectations whenever you watch a movie with "Vs." in the title.
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:lol:


I have to agree with Acid X though, I thought the Freddy vs. Jason was the worse.
 
He (Uwe Boll) also has the rights to do a movie based off the Hitman game.
:guilty:

Apparently he wants Jean Claude Van Dam or Jean Reno(not that he could get Jean Reno) to do the role of Agent 47.

Sounds promising already. . . :crazy:
 
You need to familiarize yourself with the Internet Movie Database (www.imdb.com) and soon. Sorry if I sound like an a-hole, but if you'd followed the link I included in my post you'd have seen that McFarlane has NEVER directed a film. He was given a writing credit on Spawn, a movie which was a disappointment and a major letdown for me, a huge fan of the comic series when it first came out.
 
PublicSecrecy
It says he produced it too...
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No, he was an executive producer, which in Hollywood-speak means exactly DIDDLY SQUAT. It's basically an honorary title given to him because he owns the creative rights to the character and because he wrote the screenplay.
 
Anderton Prime
The same director directed both House Of The Dead and Alone In The Dark.

We both knew it was going to be crap, but we didn't feel like going home again so we went in anyway. All we did was laugh and groan with the other 6 people in the theatre. And now I'm bringing my warning to you all.
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Rented it. It is just as bad as Anderton says. It was slightly, just slightly better than the House of the Dead, but still damn near unwatchable.
 
Both films had the exact same problem, i found them entertaining (not good, entertaining) for the first 30-40 mins. But then there is a terrible action sequence & they both just go completely down hill after that.

I think Alone in the dark was slightly better as at least it had Christina Slater & Stephen Dorff in it, who can act. HOTD had knowone who could act at all.

Neither had jack**** to do with the game. Alone is set in the 40's (i think) for starters. & the guys always uses them funny guns. triple shotgun & double cylindered revolver, neither of wich were in this film.

HOTD, i found entertaining in a "this is so bad its funny" way. And again what did this have to do with any of the games? Its not set in a house for starters. I suppose really it is the closest thing to a game styled film, as alot of the set pieces feel like game scenes. The bit on the boat when the "zombies" attack 1 at a time, seemed very gamey. I also really liked the soundtrack of this, except it didnt work at all in the film, it was the same in Alone, he dosent know when/how to put music in a film well.

Uew Boll cannot make films period.
 
yeah that what his name look like it rhymes with eww, napoleon dynamite was better than alone in the dark.
 
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