being scottish

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Scotland
just got sent this :lol:

Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most Scottish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Sotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION..

3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally...

In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Arent you proud to be a Scot!!

SCOTLAND - Love it, or Leave it!
 
Some of those fit the U.S. criteria quite well. Like ordering 3 Big Macs with a diet coke. And keeping our 60,000 dollar BMW in the driveway while locking up our lawnmower with two and a half wheels that smokes as bad as an old MG.
 
Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Sotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
I don't know aboy the rest, but those are the standard 'only in....' facts.
 
Holdenhsvgtsr
Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

lol that's funny:lol:
 
Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
:lol:

Arent you proud to be a Scot!!
Wha's like us? Damn few...

One of my favourite things about being Scottish is Irn-Bru bottles - When I first lived in Glasgow (1992), 750ml bottles were 60p each, and you got a 20p deposit on the bottle. In other words, buy three, get one free... my flatmate had 9 empties and proudly announced he was going to get three full bottles out of them - I almost broke his brain when I told him that 9 bottles would actually get you 4 free bottles, not 3... :odd:

Although, we actually bought a take-away pizza once with nothing but empty Irn-Bru bottles - it took all four of us to carry all the empties to the shop on Great Western Road... the guys in the shop were not happy at all!
 
I got the exact same joke except it was about Australians instead of Scots, even the 'facts' were the same.


I almost broke his brain when I told him that 9 bottles would actually get you 4 free bottles, not 3... :odd:

hehe :lol:
 
i see

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most Australian thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Australia can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

and so on........
 
i see

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most Australian thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Australia can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

and so on........


Yep thats what I read.
 
I have also gotten that email before...except it was to us Americans instead of Scots or Aussies....body of email is the same though
 
This is a standard only in...

You want different? Try only in NYC!

Hobos make more money than accountants ONLY in NYC. (welfare scandals?)
 
This is a standard only in...

You want different? Try only in NYC!

Hobos make more money than accountants ONLY in NYC. (welfare scandals?)
Only in NYC are there murdering Asian gangsters
Only in NYC can you play 2 dollars an hour to play videogames on any system, full version
Only in NYC can you get mugged and then think it's funny
Only in NYC does it snow in the middle of June
Only in NYC can you get stuff on the black market thats not even released yet
Only in NYC is the most common car a Ford Crown Victoria
Only in NYC do the cops actually eat donuts and fall asleep on the job
Only in NYC do cops take a week to start looking for a missing child
Only in NYC do you have Pizza Hut that tastes good
Only in NYC does the subways keep changing from local to express and vice versa and making you late
Only in NYC do cops care more about some 'juvenile delinquent' climbing a tree than the guy getting mugged down the street
Only in NYC do the taxis take longer but cost more than any other transportation
Only in NYC can you have 40 different subways in one station
Only in NYC...

NYC man... I love you all....

PEACE OUT NEW YORK!!! .... and keep doing your thang...
 
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