- 10,620
- gtp_jimprower
Well, came back from the local Auto Show
.which means
REVIEW TIEM!!!! :3
And, yes, the big three hitters were there: Mustang, Camaro, and Challenger, but lets start with something a bit more basic. And Hateful.
Tri-Fun
Its called the Tri-fun ¼ ton EXT, and its the only vehicle Ive ever wanted to take a stick of dynamite to. Allow me to illustrate what this is like on the inside.
Open the door. Climb in. Now close it. Notice how the inner liner of the door bows as you do so. It gets worse. The seats in this vehicle, which must be less than a month old, have already started to deteriorate. The center console is vinyl, with button-snaps holding it to the vinyl floor. Now try the fake-wood (yes, they have the nerve to put fake wood on this thing!! And on the center stack, too!) gear lever. Try to select a gear with it. You wont find one, because, Im not certain there IS a gear. I thought Yaris gear levers were bad. This one takes the cake!
Im looking at the brochure paper right now. The engine is a 970cc Wulang. I believe thats Chinese for Disposable. Doesnt give a power rating, as I assume that would make most Americans walk away. The tires are the same size as my Novas (155/80R13) but this is taller and has one less tire, and all three are made, (like the rest of this vehicle) in China. I doubt its all that great a handler.
In closing, you can forget everything youve ever driven. Everything. Ive driven K-cars with rotting interiors and Plymouth Voyagers with exploding transmissions, and Nothing, I mean Nothing, is as bad as this.
Moving on lets take a random piece of literature from the bag .
Scion
Well, its a carryover year. And none of them had sticks. So I ignored them. They had an xB all done up in dragon vinyls. I say meh.
Nissan
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I. sat. in. a. GT-R.
X3
It felt wonderful, absolutely well, okay, It was a little disappointing. In spots. Really, only if youre trying to nitpick. Hell, I could find bits I dont like in a Lexus. But it felt good, everything screwed well-together.
I had a thought about trying to get in back. Just for the hell of it. One look, though, and I decided that it might not be a good idea. But my laptop case and bookbag would probably fit real nice back there
Also, I had a sit in the 370Z. Again, I was impressed. If only the power seat worked, I could have a good, solid feel, but everything worked, shifter was a little vague compared to, say, the S2000, but had a nice short throw and went where you wanted. I liked.
And there was the Cube. I am in a van! I declared with a grin. But what a funky little van! It seemed like a nice little car, and, out of the three (xB, Soul, Cube,) Id take the little Nissan.
Oh, speak of the devil. I just drew
Kia
And yes, they had the Soul there. Two of them actually. One had a huge sound system and underbody glow. And music playing so loud I couldnt get in. So I went over to the other one
And was underwhelmed. For such a great concept, it was a bit plasticky, far behind the Cube. Felt like a Rio, to be honest. Didnt help that (like a disproportionately large nmber of vehicles this year) it was an auto.
Ford
And there, up on the pedestal, was the Taurus. The 10 Taurus. It looked good, really good. And, over there, the 10 Mustang with the doors locked. Well, if you really dont want me to compare you to the Camaro, then fine .
But there were definite signs Ford has it together. The last Focus I sat in was horrible. I think they updated the interior, because its much better. Shifts still take a mile, but whatever.
And there was the new 10 Fusion. It looks decent in the flesh, and inside was quite good. I was impressed.
BMW
I had a couple sits here. The X6, for example. Nice inside, I suppose, but its still a truck. Car. Thing.
AMC is not dead! I declared, and moved to a 135i. This I liked, despite the Auto box. Really quite a nice little car from the quick sit I had but its a bimmer, thats to be expected.
Hummer
Hummer, on the other hand, is dead. It was one of a round of GM disappointments, both the H2 and H3. I think Chrysler and GM traded places: the interiors felt like theyd thrown great seats and Leather in a very, very bad truck.
Pontiac
So they had the Solstice coupe there locked. Too bad, because what they had UN-locked was just
Well, there was a G8 GXP. Which I am declaring Worse inside than a Charger. It reminds you, quite a bit, that Holden is a baseline brand in Australia. This is not deserving of a premium marque like Pontiac.
And then and I have no Idea why I got in this one but I had a try in a G3. As expected. BAD. Its an Aveo that you buy if the Pontiac dealer is closer to you. And I found a rubber trim bit that was coming off I tamped it back down. Ehhh not good.
Chrysler
Okay, moment of truth time. Did Chryslers interior updates make a difference?
Well, yes and no. Theres still lots of hard plastic, but its more solid-feeling. Still have those cheap-feeling loose hard plastic steering wheel center hubs those should be soft-touch on any mainstream car. (another gripe, a lot of them had such a design) Anyways, the cars just felt a little better screwed together.
Dodge
I got worried for a moment. There was a Challenger up on the pedestal, and I began to dread that I couldnt sit in one
Thankfully, there was an SXT on the floor. And, to be perfectly honest, it wasnt half bad. Wasnt great (the Z is miles better) but wasnt a G8, either.
Also got into an 09 Ram. Its better than the ¾ ton 08 Chevy we have at work.
Jeep
The Patriot was the model that I knew for certain was updated, and it actually was pretty decent...compared to previous models. I think that, if Chrysler lands the Fiat deal, theyll be in good shape.
Toyota
I actually did it. I sat in a Pious. and, quite honestly, found it very, very weird.
Firstly, WHAT THE HELL is this stupid grain texture on the dash? And the gear selector a reverser from a diesel locomotive would be more comforting than this momentary-contact thing. It just feels TOO save-the-earth oriented.
After that, The Venza. Again, that stupid grain texture. After that, I decided Toyota wasnt worth my time.
Lexus
But then I decided to play with the touch screen Nav system in an IS250. I found my house with it. Then I flipped the passing lights. They worked. I was happy, so I got out and moved on.
Cadillac
Sat in a CTS. Id done the same a year before, so, really, theres nothing new to report. Its still a nice car.
Saturn
The only interesting car here was a Sky Red Line. It had a nice interior, but an auto An auto! The sheer blasphemy! And the Solstice was locked, so no stick-shift Kappa play for me. I was sad.
GMC
Wasnt interested. Picked up a brochure
Buick
But the 10 Lacrosse WAS here. It was also sonuvagun .locked. It looked nice from outside, too.
Chevrolet
I am so sorry, YSSMAN. I really am. But I must say it
The Camaros interior is no better than the Challengers.
Aside from looking nicer on camera, when it comes down to it, the story is the same. Hard plastic everywhere, screwed down fairly well. Didnt help that they were Auto boxes (they had an LS and an SS,) either. I left feeling disappointed. And felt like I was in a bunker. The Challenger wins in Visibility, definitely.
And then there was the HHR SS. Oh, wow. I thought itd be better inside than that. I even liked the Cobalt SS better.
They did have a Devil Z I mean, Corvette ZR1 there. Locked, but it looked good thru the windows.
Suzuki
Nothing new, so skipped. That, and there was the Tri-not-Fun there. After that I needed to sit in an Acura to Recover
Although Shoot, I shouldve checked out an Equator.
Acura
The TSX was my chosen steed to recover from the Tri-Fun. And, to be honest, I think Acura has it a little more together than Lexus does. I liked them better, anyway.
Chatted with a rep about the Spoon Legend. He didnt know that an RL could be turned into a race car.
Lincoln
I did enjoy a sit in the back of a MKS. Its really one heckuva car, one more reason Ford has it together. Cant wait for Ecoboost.
Honda
Ah, my old nemesis, the Civic Si Manual Gearshift! We Meet Again!
Last year, I made a fool of myself with ham-fisted gear selection on an SI without its shift knob, But this one had one! Im saved!
Kind of.
First time thru, I ended up moving from 4th into the reverse quadrant and then into fifth. But only once. I think this is reason for Honda to have some sort of lockout on the reverse.
Then came a bittersweet sit the last sit in a non-used Honda S2000. The cars sweet as ever, very precise gear lever. If you want to know how a shift lever should feel, sit or drive in one of these. Its just Its a proper sports car. Its sad to see it go, really is.
On my way across to the GT-R, something interesting caught me at first I thought it a Civic. But the shape soon came to me an Insight!
And its just better somehow, than the Prius. Maybe its that its more normal. Its not trying to save the world, its just fuel efficient. The materials werent even as good, and yet, I liked it better!
Mercury
I should have, for the hell of it, sat in the Grand Marquis they had hidden away in the back. But I didnt. Im amazed they still sell that thing.
Otherwise, they were waterfall-grille Fords. Meh. The Milan looked Sharp, though, and part of me would get one over a Fusion II.
Volvo
The C30 was my only interest there. I dont think Ill ever get used to having clear space behind the center stack. Its artsy, but I feel a bit useless, since its wasted space back there.
And it was an auto. MEH.
Mitsubishi
Well, no Evo, but they had a Lancer Ralliart there. Same fairly impressive interior as last year, but it had the SST paddle-shift sequential. I approved.
Hyundai
Gen. Coupe.
And once again I felt a little cheated. It wasnt better than the Challenger. It wasnt better than the Camaro. The Kia Soul had the same stalks coming off the steering wheel. Had a good stick (no knob, and the seat was way back and powered, so I couldnt get a great feel for it) but I dunno, I was disappointed. I thought after the very impressive Genesis, it MIGHT be better than it was.
Mazda
Another couple good sticks in the Miata and RX-8. The Miata was almost as good as the S2Ks, but not quite.
Then I tried the new, 2009, Mazda 3. It at least had a fair interior. I tried to mimic its grille with my face. I felt like an idiot.
Subaru
These guys had no literature, but I did take a stint in the WRX. Im pleased to report that shift feel is ten times better than it was last year, and interior feel, too. I really, really wish Subaru would simply ditch that ugly 5-door (which was entirely absent, even the STI version,) and sell the 4-door Wrex with the STI kit beneath.
It seemed their big draw was that (no longer a tall-wagon, but a full-grown SUV) Forester. I was kind of put off by the machines size its grown too big.
Alchy dragster
I did have one more sit at the wheel of an Alcohol Dragster that was on display. It was a working race car, had been run (dings on the tach from rocks coming off the back wheels were there to prove it) but was finished inside and out. I must even say, that the car was more comfortable to sit in than some of the other cars there! definitely better than the Tri-Fun.
Imagine that: a stripped out race car more comfortable than the Tri-Fun
VW, Audi, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche
Were all absent.
Usually theyre there, but this year the dealer (Suds) pulled out two weeks before the show. I was disappointed. Very disappointed.
So, there you have it. I got to play Clarkson for a day, previewed some important cars of 2009, and gained a lifelong distrust of 3-wheeled Chinese vehicles.
REVIEW TIEM!!!! :3
And, yes, the big three hitters were there: Mustang, Camaro, and Challenger, but lets start with something a bit more basic. And Hateful.
Tri-Fun
Its called the Tri-fun ¼ ton EXT, and its the only vehicle Ive ever wanted to take a stick of dynamite to. Allow me to illustrate what this is like on the inside.
Open the door. Climb in. Now close it. Notice how the inner liner of the door bows as you do so. It gets worse. The seats in this vehicle, which must be less than a month old, have already started to deteriorate. The center console is vinyl, with button-snaps holding it to the vinyl floor. Now try the fake-wood (yes, they have the nerve to put fake wood on this thing!! And on the center stack, too!) gear lever. Try to select a gear with it. You wont find one, because, Im not certain there IS a gear. I thought Yaris gear levers were bad. This one takes the cake!
Im looking at the brochure paper right now. The engine is a 970cc Wulang. I believe thats Chinese for Disposable. Doesnt give a power rating, as I assume that would make most Americans walk away. The tires are the same size as my Novas (155/80R13) but this is taller and has one less tire, and all three are made, (like the rest of this vehicle) in China. I doubt its all that great a handler.
In closing, you can forget everything youve ever driven. Everything. Ive driven K-cars with rotting interiors and Plymouth Voyagers with exploding transmissions, and Nothing, I mean Nothing, is as bad as this.
Moving on lets take a random piece of literature from the bag .
Scion
Well, its a carryover year. And none of them had sticks. So I ignored them. They had an xB all done up in dragon vinyls. I say meh.
Nissan
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I. sat. in. a. GT-R.
X3
It felt wonderful, absolutely well, okay, It was a little disappointing. In spots. Really, only if youre trying to nitpick. Hell, I could find bits I dont like in a Lexus. But it felt good, everything screwed well-together.
I had a thought about trying to get in back. Just for the hell of it. One look, though, and I decided that it might not be a good idea. But my laptop case and bookbag would probably fit real nice back there
Also, I had a sit in the 370Z. Again, I was impressed. If only the power seat worked, I could have a good, solid feel, but everything worked, shifter was a little vague compared to, say, the S2000, but had a nice short throw and went where you wanted. I liked.
And there was the Cube. I am in a van! I declared with a grin. But what a funky little van! It seemed like a nice little car, and, out of the three (xB, Soul, Cube,) Id take the little Nissan.
Oh, speak of the devil. I just drew
Kia
And yes, they had the Soul there. Two of them actually. One had a huge sound system and underbody glow. And music playing so loud I couldnt get in. So I went over to the other one
And was underwhelmed. For such a great concept, it was a bit plasticky, far behind the Cube. Felt like a Rio, to be honest. Didnt help that (like a disproportionately large nmber of vehicles this year) it was an auto.
Ford
And there, up on the pedestal, was the Taurus. The 10 Taurus. It looked good, really good. And, over there, the 10 Mustang with the doors locked. Well, if you really dont want me to compare you to the Camaro, then fine .
But there were definite signs Ford has it together. The last Focus I sat in was horrible. I think they updated the interior, because its much better. Shifts still take a mile, but whatever.
And there was the new 10 Fusion. It looks decent in the flesh, and inside was quite good. I was impressed.
BMW
I had a couple sits here. The X6, for example. Nice inside, I suppose, but its still a truck. Car. Thing.
AMC is not dead! I declared, and moved to a 135i. This I liked, despite the Auto box. Really quite a nice little car from the quick sit I had but its a bimmer, thats to be expected.
Hummer
Hummer, on the other hand, is dead. It was one of a round of GM disappointments, both the H2 and H3. I think Chrysler and GM traded places: the interiors felt like theyd thrown great seats and Leather in a very, very bad truck.
Pontiac
So they had the Solstice coupe there locked. Too bad, because what they had UN-locked was just
Well, there was a G8 GXP. Which I am declaring Worse inside than a Charger. It reminds you, quite a bit, that Holden is a baseline brand in Australia. This is not deserving of a premium marque like Pontiac.
And then and I have no Idea why I got in this one but I had a try in a G3. As expected. BAD. Its an Aveo that you buy if the Pontiac dealer is closer to you. And I found a rubber trim bit that was coming off I tamped it back down. Ehhh not good.
Chrysler
Okay, moment of truth time. Did Chryslers interior updates make a difference?
Well, yes and no. Theres still lots of hard plastic, but its more solid-feeling. Still have those cheap-feeling loose hard plastic steering wheel center hubs those should be soft-touch on any mainstream car. (another gripe, a lot of them had such a design) Anyways, the cars just felt a little better screwed together.
Dodge
I got worried for a moment. There was a Challenger up on the pedestal, and I began to dread that I couldnt sit in one
Thankfully, there was an SXT on the floor. And, to be perfectly honest, it wasnt half bad. Wasnt great (the Z is miles better) but wasnt a G8, either.
Also got into an 09 Ram. Its better than the ¾ ton 08 Chevy we have at work.
Jeep
The Patriot was the model that I knew for certain was updated, and it actually was pretty decent...compared to previous models. I think that, if Chrysler lands the Fiat deal, theyll be in good shape.
Toyota
I actually did it. I sat in a Pious. and, quite honestly, found it very, very weird.
Firstly, WHAT THE HELL is this stupid grain texture on the dash? And the gear selector a reverser from a diesel locomotive would be more comforting than this momentary-contact thing. It just feels TOO save-the-earth oriented.
After that, The Venza. Again, that stupid grain texture. After that, I decided Toyota wasnt worth my time.
Lexus
But then I decided to play with the touch screen Nav system in an IS250. I found my house with it. Then I flipped the passing lights. They worked. I was happy, so I got out and moved on.
Cadillac
Sat in a CTS. Id done the same a year before, so, really, theres nothing new to report. Its still a nice car.
Saturn
The only interesting car here was a Sky Red Line. It had a nice interior, but an auto An auto! The sheer blasphemy! And the Solstice was locked, so no stick-shift Kappa play for me. I was sad.
GMC
Wasnt interested. Picked up a brochure
Buick
But the 10 Lacrosse WAS here. It was also sonuvagun .locked. It looked nice from outside, too.
Chevrolet
I am so sorry, YSSMAN. I really am. But I must say it
The Camaros interior is no better than the Challengers.
Aside from looking nicer on camera, when it comes down to it, the story is the same. Hard plastic everywhere, screwed down fairly well. Didnt help that they were Auto boxes (they had an LS and an SS,) either. I left feeling disappointed. And felt like I was in a bunker. The Challenger wins in Visibility, definitely.
And then there was the HHR SS. Oh, wow. I thought itd be better inside than that. I even liked the Cobalt SS better.
They did have a Devil Z I mean, Corvette ZR1 there. Locked, but it looked good thru the windows.
Suzuki
Nothing new, so skipped. That, and there was the Tri-not-Fun there. After that I needed to sit in an Acura to Recover
Although Shoot, I shouldve checked out an Equator.
Acura
The TSX was my chosen steed to recover from the Tri-Fun. And, to be honest, I think Acura has it a little more together than Lexus does. I liked them better, anyway.
Chatted with a rep about the Spoon Legend. He didnt know that an RL could be turned into a race car.
Lincoln
I did enjoy a sit in the back of a MKS. Its really one heckuva car, one more reason Ford has it together. Cant wait for Ecoboost.
Honda
Ah, my old nemesis, the Civic Si Manual Gearshift! We Meet Again!
Last year, I made a fool of myself with ham-fisted gear selection on an SI without its shift knob, But this one had one! Im saved!
Kind of.
First time thru, I ended up moving from 4th into the reverse quadrant and then into fifth. But only once. I think this is reason for Honda to have some sort of lockout on the reverse.
Then came a bittersweet sit the last sit in a non-used Honda S2000. The cars sweet as ever, very precise gear lever. If you want to know how a shift lever should feel, sit or drive in one of these. Its just Its a proper sports car. Its sad to see it go, really is.
On my way across to the GT-R, something interesting caught me at first I thought it a Civic. But the shape soon came to me an Insight!
And its just better somehow, than the Prius. Maybe its that its more normal. Its not trying to save the world, its just fuel efficient. The materials werent even as good, and yet, I liked it better!
Mercury
I should have, for the hell of it, sat in the Grand Marquis they had hidden away in the back. But I didnt. Im amazed they still sell that thing.
Otherwise, they were waterfall-grille Fords. Meh. The Milan looked Sharp, though, and part of me would get one over a Fusion II.
Volvo
The C30 was my only interest there. I dont think Ill ever get used to having clear space behind the center stack. Its artsy, but I feel a bit useless, since its wasted space back there.
And it was an auto. MEH.
Mitsubishi
Well, no Evo, but they had a Lancer Ralliart there. Same fairly impressive interior as last year, but it had the SST paddle-shift sequential. I approved.
Hyundai
Gen. Coupe.
And once again I felt a little cheated. It wasnt better than the Challenger. It wasnt better than the Camaro. The Kia Soul had the same stalks coming off the steering wheel. Had a good stick (no knob, and the seat was way back and powered, so I couldnt get a great feel for it) but I dunno, I was disappointed. I thought after the very impressive Genesis, it MIGHT be better than it was.
Mazda
Another couple good sticks in the Miata and RX-8. The Miata was almost as good as the S2Ks, but not quite.
Then I tried the new, 2009, Mazda 3. It at least had a fair interior. I tried to mimic its grille with my face. I felt like an idiot.
Subaru
These guys had no literature, but I did take a stint in the WRX. Im pleased to report that shift feel is ten times better than it was last year, and interior feel, too. I really, really wish Subaru would simply ditch that ugly 5-door (which was entirely absent, even the STI version,) and sell the 4-door Wrex with the STI kit beneath.
It seemed their big draw was that (no longer a tall-wagon, but a full-grown SUV) Forester. I was kind of put off by the machines size its grown too big.
Alchy dragster
I did have one more sit at the wheel of an Alcohol Dragster that was on display. It was a working race car, had been run (dings on the tach from rocks coming off the back wheels were there to prove it) but was finished inside and out. I must even say, that the car was more comfortable to sit in than some of the other cars there! definitely better than the Tri-Fun.
Imagine that: a stripped out race car more comfortable than the Tri-Fun
VW, Audi, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche
Were all absent.
Usually theyre there, but this year the dealer (Suds) pulled out two weeks before the show. I was disappointed. Very disappointed.
So, there you have it. I got to play Clarkson for a day, previewed some important cars of 2009, and gained a lifelong distrust of 3-wheeled Chinese vehicles.
