Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #110

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Chuck Lorre is a TV writer with a unique hobby. He puts, what he calls, vanity cards at the end of his shows. A vanity card is a few ramblings from the man, Chuck Lorre, intended to inform, and entertain those who record his shows. The card lasts only a split second, you see, so no recording, no reading of the card.

I came across my first "CLVC" just this morning, when I played my HDTV recording of CSI: Miami. I noticed, when I did a Google search, he has been doing it for quite some time.

The first one I read was #116, an open letter to the board members of Disney, explaining why he would make for a great CEO. I thought it was very funny, but I will not repeat it now. First, lets get to know him with some more serious, yet still funny and entertaining facts about his life. Here is number 110. Enjoy.


CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #110
THE DREAM: I'm in a cemetery, attending a funeral. I'm not sure whose it is. My mother, who died a year ago, is there -- alive but not well. We leave the funeral and I take her back to a place I used to live that is now unfurnished and cold. There is no food there. I leave her there anyway. I then find myself shopping in a supermarket while holding a baby swaddled in a blanket. The supermarket is run by young people. They play rock music too loudly for a supermarket and seem to be having a good time. I keep losing the baby, putting it down and forgetting where I put it. I select two items and go to the checkout stand where I'm told that one of the items, some sort of raisin bread, is very expensive. I tell the check-out girl I don't want the raisin bread and then realize I've lost the baby again. Thankfully I find the baby but then decide I can't leave my mother in an empty house. I hurry off to bring her back to where I now live, a comfortable home with all the amenities. MY ANALYSIS: The funeral is for my inauthentic self. The self that's been conditioned by parents, culture and environment to survive by whatever means necessary. It is a frightened, angry thing which I'm just now realizing is not my true identity. My mother played a powerful role in its formation. I take her to a barren place because I have not been able to confront nor integrate her influence into my consciousness. The baby is my authentic self. The essential soul that exists before conditioning. I alone am responsible for that self's well-being and am constantly abandoning it in favor of the illusory comfort of the false self. The supermarket is filled with food, music and youthful energy which symbolizes the wisdom, creativity and vitality which nurtures the soul. There is a high price to pay for these things. It is the price of freedom. I balk at paying that price. Finally, I retrieve my mother and bring her back to the nice house, which means I'm ready to bring her influence in my life up to a conscious level. CONCLUSION: My wakeful thinking is not drenched in metaphor, therefore the dream must have originated from some eternal source of compassionate wisdom, or, I shouldn't read books about Jungian psychology before I go to sleep.
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1st Aired: October 6, 2003
Episode #: 102
Title: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Log line: Charlie helps his brother through an emotional crisis by getting him drunk. Emboldened with beer muscles, Alan confronts his wife and both guys confront their mother. It does not go well.
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That's what I gathered.

You know, from reading numerous Matt Groening Life In Hell books and knowing what he hides in the Library Of Congress info, etc. I've always figured that there must be something in the closeout tag of each Simpsons episode, too.
 
Originally posted by milefile
So they are broadcast to your screen, but so fast that you can't see it? Can you explain that part again?

I am assuming that it is shown at the end, but for only a second or two so that the only way to read it is if you have it paused.

I've always wondered about the Simpsons thing; I try to look at the end of the credits, but I haven't seen anything unless I am just completely missing it. I know that the cartoon show "Steven Spielberg's Tiny Toons" would have a little message at the end of the credits each episode, but I'm pretty sure that show doesn't come on anymore.
 
Originally posted by Solid Lifters
CONCLUSION:...I shouldn't read books about Jungian psychology before I go to sleep.
Yeah, it sort of ruins your dreams before you can fully enjoy them. Read them in the mid-afternoon, so you're not psychoanalysing yourself while you dream at night (which really shuts down the creativity of your dreamstate).

On the other hand, can anyone post an example of what these "vanity cards" are?
 
Originally posted by milefile
So they are broadcast to your screen, but so fast that you can't see it? Can you explain that part again?

Sure. At the end of the show, after the ending credits, the "vanity card" appears for about 1/3 of a second. In order to read it, you have to have recorded the show, and paused the recording right when the vanity card was being displayed. Unless you're some sort of super-speed reader...
 
Originally posted by pupik
Yeah, it sort of ruins your dreams before you can fully enjoy them. Read them in the mid-afternoon, so you're not psychoanalysing yourself while you dream at night (which really shuts down the creativity of your dreamstate).

On the other hand, can anyone post an example of what these "vanity cards" are?

Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #110 was displayed at the end of my first post. When they appear, at the end of the show, it appears as a white screen with small black lettering. Here's CLVC #115.


CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #115
FOR IMMEDIATE PRESS RELEASE
A WHITE KNIGHT FOR DISNEY!
Sources in Hollywood announced today that Chuck Lorre has made a friendly bid to purchase the Disney Company. His all cash offer of five million dollars (in small bills) plus an S500 Mercedes with only 34,000 miles, Braebus rims and a tricked-out sound system, combined with his successful track record of writing, producing and creating hits for ABC (Roseanne, Grace Under Fire, Dharma & Greg) offers the Disney stockholders an opportunity to escape the clutches of cable giant Comcast. Should his offer be accepted, Lorre plans to create a major motion picture based on the "Teacup" ride and the ride with the fake hippos in the water. As far as ABC was concerned, Lorre said creating hits for network TV is a very difficult proposition but he doubted that he could do much worse than that "Are You Hot" thing. In exchange for rescuing Disney, his only demand was that he be allowed to run the company part-time. His reasoning being that he loves writing and producing Two and a Half Men. He did indicate that he would come in on the weekends to read scripts and approve price increases at the theme parks.
 
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