there are 2 kinds of fast...
1 lap wonders...
Race pace.
1 lap wonders;
I cannot help on being a 1 lap king, I'm at Dr.B (with 30% bar under) and that is likely as fast as I will be for quite some time. It's ok, I'm comfortable with it. You need to be real with yourself, stop trying to be Mr. Fast Lap. I find once I feel I can no longer go any faster, and simply settle in and set practice laps, a little more speed will show up like magic. Once you are relaxed and in a rhythm, things just sorta happen.
Race Pace;
Race your ghost. I mean, really race your ghost. Don't drive through him, but rather try and out brake the ghost, take a different corner entry/exit and try and get a run on him. You will not set a fast lap doing this, but it will teach you how to run different lines and make them work in a race... aka overtakes.
Like I said, I'm not fast, but in races I typically gain spots, seldom loose (I'm taking overall end finish, not individual spots through the race). It has less to do with my "speed" than it does in knowing how to run a different line to either gain a spot, or keep a car behind when he's in a section of track where he is quicker. I do not block - ever. If there is a car behind that is gaining on a particular spot, I'll adjust my line to match so as to take that advantage away.
There are always guys that qualify lower than you, that are actually faster. When an obviously faster car comes up on you let it through.
Why?
Because the more time you spend making life hard for that car, the more you have slowed both of you down. That allows other cars to catch you up. Now instead of letting one fast car through, you've got 2, 3, 4 or more other cars breathing down your neck. They've seen you hold up 1 car, so they believe you'll hold them up too, and now they are going to be coming hard... this is how race incidents form. Also, letting the fast car through allows you to watch learn where they are fast, and maybe even get faster yourself from the new knowledge, but certainly you will get some draft which will help keep others from gaining.
Mirror;
If you are not driving in your mirror you are asking to be overtaken. Plain and simple. Sure you can watch the track map to see if there are cars coming, but the mirror will show you where/how they are making up the time, and where you are holding your own or pulling. Where they make up time watch and see why, adjust to cancel/match their advantage, and keep on keeping on where you are strong.
When you see 2 or more cars behind jockeying for a spot, this is when you settle in and run as clean and tidy a lap as possible. You will be faster than them. If you are unaware of them jockeying, and you are still trying to go as fast as possible, it is an opportunity for you to makes a mistake, and now that battle for position just closed in. Exactly what you do not want, you want to be ahead of it putting in tidy laps, not pushing making slight errors and getting caught up in their battles.
Following a battle... do not approach this as an opportunity to gain 2 spots. Keep very close and stay out of it. They will see you are close and want to get the battle over with asap, this causes mistakes and opens the door for a position, maybe 2 if you get lucky. If you get aggressive and join the battle is is a good recipe for all cars to make a mistake and possibly loose several positions.
Getting bumped;
Stuff happens. Don't be a spoiled little child and go storming down the track intent on making up every spot lost. Be a man, take on the new challenge and work your way through the remainder of the race the same as you wold otherwise have done. I've gone from 2nd to 14th, and I've gone from 4th to 18th on the first corner. It happens. in those races I've placed in the top 10 by race end with blue Dr. and blue Sr.
That is how I drive... I seldom win, but I often finish higher than I started, and the game is very enjoyable.
When I first started racing online it was all about every position and going for the win. Those were frustrating days.
I am no longer an D/E driver, I'm a mid pack Dr.B and gentlemanly Sr.S, and the game is now fun and exhilarating instead of stressful and frustrating.
HTH.