Depression. . . How to deal with a short period of time alone?

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miata13B

miata13B

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Somebodyshootme
Well, This day finally came. . . I was denying the fact that it was coming, but made the best out of the time With Kristien I could. . . She left about 2 hours ago to take a trip to her new job on Royal Caribiean Cruise lines as a dancer for their shows. She is going to be getting the Lead Dancer. . .

So I have been sitting here an emotion wreck for the two days. . . I know that the time she is gone, 5 months, Is just a pin drop in time. . . But now, this is the time that it hurts most. . . I am stuck here at her house with her friend as a roommate who is the most disrespectful person to her house. . . For the past week the notion of marraige was brought up by both of us and I know that I have a long way to go, but I see it very possible in the next year to year and a half of marrying her. . . I told myself that I would be strong in front of her and did a damn good job until 20 minutes before she left. I lost control of my emotions and could hold back. I wanted to tell her to stay but was unable to do that because that would be selfish on my part. . .

I am worried to several degrees of different things. . .But it is the "What if's" that are killing me. . . I know that I am not there to protect her. . . not to comfort her. . . not to hold her. . . I can't even see her smile while she is doing what she loves. . .

She is going to be stationed in Puerto Rico so even weekend visits are out of the question. . . I just ask for all the strength I need to get through this because this is truly turning into a miserable time for me. . .
 
Originally posted by Jpec07
call her, write to her, think about good times. These will get you through it.
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I have already done that actually. . . :lol:. . . When she gets on the cruise in four weeks after rehearsals she is going to have four letters waiting there for her.

I do think of the good times and I have been doing that all day and night so far. I have decided with this absence of her I am going to concetrate my negative energy to going back to school and finally getting my ASE :D
 
Originally posted by Tercel_driver
Well, I hate to tell you, but the best medicine is time.
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I know that, Time is a short measurement of the existence of life itself. 5 Months compared to the grand schemes in life is nothing and I know that. . . But it is the heart that is going to control the next five months for me and I know I will have mood swings during this time because of the nature of myself
 
Well, we'll all be here to talk to if you ever need anyone, and of course all the dumb people you talk to at work...
 
Thanks Acidman, I know a few people here will be good support. . . Of course there are those dumbarses at work too that will make life a whole lot more colorful. . .

Which by the way I setup her CD player in her car to play that song as she left. . . . . "Colorful" by the Verve Pipe. . .
 
Take it from me... don't listen to any of my advice when dealing with depression. I am teh suck at dealing with life.

But I'm always up for a chat when someone is down and out. Send a PM my way sometime or whatever.
 
Originally posted by Rumple Foreskin
Take it from me... don't listen to any of my advice when dealing with depression. I am teh suck at dealing with life.

But I'm always up for a chat when someone is down and out. Send a PM my way sometime or whatever.
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Thanks Rumple, It means a lot to me when someone I have never met before offers help in any way. :D

I already feel the loneliness building, I am finding it hard to fill my time now with thigns to do. . . I am lost right now. . .

Edit : I think I am going to go play some GT3 since it really has been 3 months since I truly had a real oppurtunity to play it. . . I'll be around tonight :D Thanks everyone for your support, I could not have asked for better people to talk with, I feel blessed knowing you are all here and I am not a religous type either :D
 
Well. . . . Listen to this shiz here. . . When everything seems to fall apart at the seams, it really falls apart at the seams. . .

I talked to Kristein tonight once she made it down to Fort Lauderdale, then not more then 20 minutes later, an ex girlfriend PMs me. . . This was an ex that was hoped up on pills like that lady I posted about that killed her kid and her kid's friend. . . I can't deal with that pain along with the loneliness tonight. . . But I must remain strong here. . .
 
I know your probably don't want to hear it, but just hang in there. Like you said, maybe you could go back to school to get your ASE (what is that anyway? :confused: ), play a lot of GT3 etc... I'm sure you could find something to occupy your time with.
 
You have my sympathy. I was in love with a girl years ago and I knew going into it that she would be leaving to get her masters degree in Michigan at the end of the Summer. It hurts, I know. But it's supposed to. Hang in there.
 
I know the real medicine for breif periods of depression and time alone...

Drugs, alcohol and masturbation. :trouble: :lol:

Good luck miata, and remember to do it all in moderation... too much whackin it and you'll get a bad short term memory, too much alcohol and you'll go blind, too much budha and you'll get violent. :D

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Also, miata,

You know my story pretty well, I have great sympathy and empathy for you. Being away sucks, other people here are with you. ;)
 
Originally posted by Integra Type R
I know your probably don't want to hear it, but just hang in there. Like you said, maybe you could go back to school to get your ASE (what is that anyway? :confused: ), play a lot of GT3 etc... I'm sure you could find something to occupy your time with.
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Yeah, I am trying to find something to fill the empty void and quite frankly I still haven't found it yet. . . I know I will. . . It will probably be after I sell the Camaro and Mustang. I was thinking of getting a first generation MR2 and dropping a 305 or 350 into it :D. . . btw ASE is the Auto mechanic Certification to work on cars :D


Originally posted by milefile
You have my sympathy. I was in love with a girl years ago and I knew going into it that she would be leaving to get her masters degree in Michigan at the end of the Summer. It hurts, I know. But it's supposed to. Hang in there.
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Thank you Mile, I think I am now just starting to realize what you realized years ago. . . I also knew that going into this she was going to be leaving me soon. It was funny, the way that it was brought up. . . We were lying in bed one night and I was noticing that the past few days she was not really saying much on how she was feeling. Understand, Kristien is very private with her feelings and sometimes I have to chisel it out myself. I too am the same way, but with her I can say anything, exactly the way I would say it with anyone which is one of the first things about her that I love. So anyways; after that tangent, she told me that she got this job offer and she had already decided that I was more important to be with then going on this job. I told her that if she did not go on this, to do what she loves to do, I would not be able to live with myself. I would not be able to look her in the eyes and tell her what I feel. . . I don't know if you went through something similar or not, but I hold it in high regards that you have felt this. Thank you Mile, it means a lot to me. . .

Originally posted by GoKents
I know the real medicine for breif periods of depression and time alone...

Drugs, alcohol and masturbation. :trouble: :lol:

Good luck miata, and remember to do it all in moderation... too much whackin it and you'll get a bad short term memory, too much alcohol and you'll go blind, too much budha and you'll get violent. :D

edit:
Also, miata,

You know my story pretty well, I have great sympathy and empathy for you. Being away sucks, other people here are with you. ;)
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The Alcamahol has been consumated over mere already :D The drugs have been used, but masterbation has yet to occur. . . :lol: As for the moderation, let us just put it this way. . . "I'm not as think you drunk I am Occiffer!" :D

All I want is Peace in the Mideast. . . and a blow job. :lol:

Hey Kent thanks man. . . you cracked a smile on this otherwise sad soul for the night. I remember our conversations and actually wanted to tell you about her but haven't had the time. If you remember Mara and then the old chinesse proverb of loving your first love like your last and your last love like your first, then you will have a pretty good insight of what I am feeling for now ;) . . . Anyways bro, thank you for support, I definately need all the strength I can muster for myself and a few good friends included. . . btw, when the blood clot are you going to get your skinny arse down to Orlando? You have a place to stay here :D
 
miata, man, i know how u feel...and it sucks.
the kinda person i am...i cant stand not seeing the person i love...and it drives me nuts whenever im not with my lady.
i mean 5 months is a long time...and a long time for a lot of opportunities to happen had she not left. but you cant think of it like that.
things happen for a reason, and this is just a small test of your relationship.

the best way to cope with it is just to not think about it, i know its hard, it was hard for me when my ex last year left for 2 months to go see her family in europe.
you just have to occupy your mind with other things...
im not saying to take my route exactly...but fill your time with the fun things in life...everytime you have when youd normally be seeing her, go out with the guys, have some beers, get hammered, go to clubs, go see shows, do stuff, play GT3....and as soon as you feel yourself thinking about her..just put on the T.V. or something.
it will be hard...but time will tell if your ordeal is worth it.
 
Originally posted by F.Zamataki
miata, man, i know how u feel...and it sucks.
the kinda person i am...i cant stand not seeing the person i love...and it drives me nuts whenever im not with my lady.
i mean 5 months is a long time...and a long time for a lot of opportunities to happen had she not left. but you cant think of it like that.
things happen for a reason, and this is just a small test of your relationship.

the best way to cope with it is just to not think about it, i know its hard, it was hard for me when my ex last year left for 2 months to go see her family in europe.
you just have to occupy your mind with other things...
im not saying to take my route exactly...but fill your time with the fun things in life...everytime you have when youd normally be seeing her, go out with the guys, have some beers, get hammered, go to clubs, go see shows, do stuff, play GT3....and as soon as you feel yourself thinking about her..just put on the T.V. or something.
it will be hard...but time will tell if your ordeal is worth it.
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You know, when we first talked, I didn't think we would get along at all, but to tell the truth, you are a pretty good guy yourself :). I know what you mean, and tonight is going to be the toughest night for me. It is the first night alone. Again, I find myself wandering around the house aimlessly, the only thing that I find myself the most comforting is laying down with our dogs and just hugging them. . . Thanks for your supprot my friend. It truly means a lot for a totaly stranger to give me support. That goes for the rest of the GTP crew. These past two years, everyone here has helped me out in one way or another and I don't think I would be the same without talking to this community. This is my first forum and only forum I am totally dedicated to, excpet for the fact I give n00bs a hard time and piss off Neon a little :lol: . . . sorry Neon :D had to say it. . . please don't give me the blasphemy of bannination :D
 
Would a Mazda Miata spot race cheer you up at all? Eh? Ah? Eh? C'mon!!! I've been thinking of one for a while, and I may throw it down tonight.

Feel better man. My girlfriend and I just split up, so I'm semi-sort of where you are. If you want to be big sourpusses together, throw me an IM or something. We can laugh, we can cry, talk about how my genetilia is so smal.... :odd: Talk.
 
Originally posted by Goomba
Would a Mazda Miata spot race cheer you up at all? Eh? Ah? Eh? C'mon!!! I've been thinking of one for a while, and I may throw it down tonight.

Feel better man. My girlfriend and I just split up, so I'm semi-sort of where you are. If you want to be big sourpusses together, throw me an IM or something. We can laugh, we can cry, talk about how my genetilia is so smal.... :odd: Talk.
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As long as it has a 13b I'm there :D. . . . . I'll need a few days to get situated though. . .

I am sorry to hear about your girlfriend, I now it is hard, I have certainly shared my fair share of break-ups, make-ups and fark ups. . . Although certain there are more experienced then I, Yeah the sourpuss thing will go well, but I am currently offline, but I'll throw you one Im soon :D. . . If you don't mind me asking, but what happened, talking about always helps, you can see I am walking proof of it cvurrently, I was a wreck when I originally posted this. . . I felt like that STP song . . . I am half the man I used to be. . . With a slight John Bobbit Detachable Penile problem. . . :odd: :D
 
I'm actually thinking of throwing an autocrossing twist to it. It seems to me that you can't bring up autocrossing withuot bringing up a Miata. I was thinking of a Stock class, Street Touring, Street Prepared and Street Modified (where you could fit your 13B Miata into), each with certain allowable modifications. I'm thinking either a hot lap or a couple laps against the computer. Probably throw up an interest check in the Spot Races before I announce it.

I initiated it, but it was sort of an agreement. Neither of us are acting like our normal selves, and its creeping the other person out. It's not gone for good, but bye bye for now. See what else there is to offer. I'm 18 and shes the only girlfriend I've had (shut up, I was a bigggg wuss from age zero to seventeen).

I've probably heard the STP song but don't remember it, and anytime I hear anything of theirs now, I'll be sure to slam the volume to 0.

EDIT: For those interested, the spot race has been posted. Online Racing > Spot Races > Interest Check: Miatas and Autocrossing
 
Hey, miata man..that's a tough situation, but you'll get through it. As everybody else said, just keep yourself occupied. Take up a new hobby or something. Getting your ASE sounds like a good idea as it will keep you busy and you'll have something to show for it when you're done. Anyway, good luck bro. I hope it all works out for you.



-Mark
 
Originally posted by Goomba

I initiated it, but it was sort of an agreement. Neither of us are acting like our normal selves, and its creeping the other person out. It's not gone for good, but bye bye for now. See what else there is to offer. I'm 18 and shes the only girlfriend I've had (shut up, I was a bigggg wuss from age zero to seventeen).
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I remember when I found my first love, it was when I was 19 and we dated for 2.5 years. I moved to Orlando with her and went to school about a year into the relationship from Fort Lauderdale. . . I thought she was everything I wanted but the same syndrome occurred about being oneself. . . It was a hard breakup and at the end of it the night before we had a conversation about the relationship and I was at a point I would make sure I did not go to sleep with her and avoided telling her about everything. . . So we were sitting on the back porch of her townhouse and she was sitting on my lap. . . Yes we should break up no we shouldn't. . . She kept saying that over and over again, finally something snapped, I got up and said, "you know something. . . I gotta be by myself. . . " and that was the end of it. . .

Originally posted by Ethix101
Hey, miata man..that's a tough situation, but you'll get through it. As everybody else said, just keep yourself occupied. Take up a new hobby or something. Getting your ASE sounds like a good idea as it will keep you busy and you'll have something to show for it when you're done. Anyway, good luck bro. I hope it all works out for you.



-Mark
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Thanks Mark, yeah I do need something to fill the time. . . I kept finding myself at a lost last night and even playing GT3 did not take to my interest as much as I thought it would. . . I woke up this morning and went to work where I presently sit and still I just don't feel with it. . . I am happy I can be at work for once. . .
 
Looooooooooooooots of GT3. Get involved in some series races and stuff. Do things you normally can't do when she's home.
 
Originally posted by LoudMusic
Looooooooooooooots of GT3. Get involved in some series races and stuff. Do things you normally can't do when she's home.
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I think I am going to get crazy enough and try the 100 laps of Complex and the 225 SSR 11. . . They have sparked some interest recently, we will see. . . Possibly try a little Spoon S 2k around the Complex, it will be a little under powered but handles like a cream dream. . .
 
If you're thinking of marrying her and have spoken to her about it.... it seems odd that she would opt to go away for 5 months.

When I was dating my wife she was away for 5 months or so. I think we both knew about 2 weeks into it that it was a big mistake. I got to see her every weekend and chat online all the time. It was still really hard. Maybe part of the difficulty was having to say goodbye every weekend...

When the time was up and she got back, she said she wouldn't do it again. I wasn't about to let her go without me again anyway, I was going to follow her if she was going to go back.

Why am I rambling? Well, aren't there ways for her to dance and for you two to be together? You may need to move with her to a city that has a lot of opportunities for a dancer, but I'd think you could stay there... if you're thinking of getting married....

I've seen a lot of this long distance relationship stuff and I think it's silly. I don't know where it says in the rules that when two people are together, everything else is more important than those two being together. I hate to make things worse but, you don't know that 5 months is a drop in the bucket. You don't know how long you'll be here or how long she will. You can't always live for the future.

Oh well, opportunities come up and you have to weigh the good and bad every time. It has happened to a lot of us and I know something about what you're going through. It sucks, you're gonna hate it. I'd tell you it gets better, but I'm not sure about that. I'm sorry if what I'm saying is a downer but I'm calling it how I see it.

Good luck.
 
Originally posted by miata13B
I think I am going to get crazy enough and try the 100 laps of Complex and the 225 SSR 11. . . They have sparked some interest recently, we will see. . . Possibly try a little Spoon S 2k around the Complex, it will be a little under powered but handles like a cream dream. . .
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You should take a Miata out on that one :rolleyes: (:

Sounds good!
 
Originally posted by danoff
If you're thinking of marrying her and have spoken to her about it.... it seems odd that she would opt to go away for 5 months.
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It is odd, but then again dancing in Orlando is tough even with Disney. She worked for them once and hated it. They treat their works like crap basically. She actually wants to be a Cast Director for Royal Caribinean Cruises. So When she is getting back we are going to sit down and thoroughly having a conversation of moving closer to their headquarters in Miami. . .

Yes We also have had a few discussions on marraige and the whole nine. . . But there is no concrete plan right now, considering I am going to wipe out all of my debt before marraige. . . which will probably take about the next year and a few months, but that is enough time for me to see if in fact she is the one. I remember when I first met her there was something special and that still has not died at all. . . in fact it has grown everyday. . .
When I was dating my wife she was away for 5 months or so. I think we both knew about 2 weeks into it that it was a big mistake. I got to see her every weekend and chat online all the time. It was still really hard. Maybe part of the difficulty was having to say goodbye every weekend...
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I totally feel your pain here considering I just did it last night. . . It is tough and it doesn't seem right in anyway.
When the time was up and she got back, she said she wouldn't do it again. I wasn't about to let her go without me again anyway, I was going to follow her if she was going to go back.
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I tried everything in my power to get a job on that Boat, trust me. . . I still am trying, I put in for systems positions, cabana boy, server, casino, the whole nine, but right now they are pretty full. I have one last chance and that is through her friend Terrance, he has a connection with the computer guys on board the boats and got one other friend to work on them, so I have my fingers crossed with him. . .
Why am I rambling? Well, aren't there ways for her to dance and for you two to be together? You may need to move with her to a city that has a lot of opportunities for a dancer, but I'd think you could stay there... if you're thinking of getting married....
I agree, at this time, she had not had any job dancing in over a year and was started to miss it. . . She started applying for jobs but nothing would take her because of tattoos or piercings and such when she auditions even though she has stuff to cover it all up. . . This was the first job she was offered so she took it. . . I would follow her anywhere, I would be able to find a job. . .
I've seen a lot of this long distance relationship stuff and I think it's silly. I don't know where it says in the rules that when two people are together, everything else is more important than those two being together. I hate to make things worse but, you don't know that 5 months is a drop in the bucket. You don't know how long you'll be here or how long she will. You can't always live for the future.

Oh well, opportunities come up and you have to weigh the good and bad every time. It has happened to a lot of us and I know something about what you're going through. It sucks, you're gonna hate it. I'd tell you it gets better, but I'm not sure about that. I'm sorry if what I'm saying is a downer but I'm calling it how I see it.

Good luck.
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Thanks for the vote of confidence and looking forward to the future there, but a glimspe of reality is always a good thing too. . .
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She actually wants to be a Cast Director for Royal Caribinean Cruises. So When she is getting back we are going to sit down and thoroughly having a conversation of moving closer to their headquarters in Miami. . .
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So she's going to be doing this a lot then. Would moving to their headquarters help much? She's still be a sea for quite a while right? I guess once she's actually Cast Director she could do that from headquarters and not go out with the cruise every time. How long would it take for her to pull that off? How long have you two been together?

Edit: I suppose cruises usually run a week or two. So the problem is that she's at headquarters rehearsing for a few months right? The actual at sea portion isn't that much - if that's the case maybe moving to miami is the solution.
 
Originally posted by miata13B
I think I would need to smoke some crack to do that. . .
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Hey man, whatever floats yer boat. Though I think you'd see improved times if you just drank lots of coffee (:
 
Originally posted by danoff
So she's going to be doing this a lot then. Would moving to their headquarters help much? She's still be a sea for quite a while right? I guess once she's actually Cast Director she could do that from headquarters and not go out with the cruise every time. How long would it take for her to pull that off? How long have you two been together?

Edit: I suppose cruises usually run a week or two. So the problem is that she's at headquarters rehearsing for a few months right? The actual at sea portion isn't that much - if that's the case maybe moving to miami is the solution.
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Well, To be a cast director comes more from working as a casting director for some company, when doing that job you don't go on the cruise at all. . . She was trying to get a casting director with Universal here, but still hasn't heard from them. . . I don't think it will take many times going on these cruises because they are contracted jobs and that is it. She is not directly working for Royal, but She has done this enough times to get a nice resume made for it. . . Including two times being a dance Captian and she is getting it for this run too. . . I do beleive that moving to Miami, actually Fort Lauderdale, my hometown for the most part would be the answer as long as we can get her the job. . . besides that there is not much down there for a job for her that I know of. . .

Another part of the Cruises is based on where you are stationed kinda like the military. . . She is stationed in Puerto Rico which makes the weekend visits tough, had she been in the Port of Miami, or Port Everglades this would have been different. . . I probably would have gotten a job down there and rented out some place for 6 months. . .
 

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