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Driven to distraction?
May 1: Planet F1 looks at the racing movie that has them unintentionally rolling in the aisles, Sylvester Stallones Driven
Remember a couple of years ago, when Sylvester Stallone was going to make that F1 movie?
Remember how 'Sly' travelled the world with the F1 circus, shaking hands with Jean and 'Fisi', having his picture taken with Schumi and Mika?
Remember how 'Rocky' eventually shelved his plans for an F1 movie because of the lack of co-operation with a certain similarly diminutive gentleman - may nasal hair never blemish his nostrils - and instead turned his attention towards CART?
Well, although most Formula One fans in America are unable to watch their favourite sport on TV, at least they can look forward to seeing some real high octane action in Stallone's finished product 'Driven', which went on general release at the weekend.
Or can they?
Planet F1 editor Chris Balfe's good friend John Lane went to see the movie, and urged him to forewarn his readers.
I went to see the movie 'Driven' last night, writes John. This movie is harmful to the health of all motor racing fans. You will laugh so hard at the various aspects that are so wrong that it might be considered a comedy.
Amongst other classics, John points out the following
The pit stop where new tyres are taken off and replaced with old tyres complete with dirt and gravel.
The race for the World Championship that consists of Cart and Formula Atlantic cars.
The young protagonist is a spectacle wearing kid, we all know that racing drivers don't wear glasses, oops, I forgot about JV.
The young protagonist's manager is his slick, business talking, brother - ring any bells?
The young protagonist's team boss is in a wheel chair.
While racing Cart cars in Germany on a road course in the penultimate round of the 'World Championship' the replacement driver/team-mate of the young protagonist goes off the course, while in second place, has a huge crash (gas fire, not alcohol). The young protagonist turns around, while in second place and leading the World Championship, drives against the traffic back to the wreck, and about 600 yards through grass, dirt and trees, to rescue his team-mate. The number two driver in the World Championship battle stops his car on the next lap and also gets out to help rescue the crashed driver. They save the driver just before the car blows up with enough force to create a mushroom cloud of fire and smoke that resembles Hiroshima.
The young protagonist breaks his foot and is fired by the wheel chair bound team manager because, as a rookie, who is second in the World Championship, he doesn't have what it takes to be a race driver. And there isn't even a line of other team managers trying to hire him. Remember, he is second in the World Championship as a rookie.
The young protagonist manages, complete with broken foot, to talk 'wheel chair bound' team manager out of replacing him for the last race - after qualifying is over, and as a result starts dead last in the last race (Detroit). He, and his team-mate, team up to start dead last and pass every other car in the field, using every illegal method possible on a race trace, and several that are not even possible, to win the race and the World Championship. The finish includes the team-mate spinning a quarter of a mile, down the centre of the track, to cross the finish line.
Oh - I forgot. At a black tie affair, in Chicago, the young protagonist and his main rival get into a dust up over a woman. The young protagonist takes off in one of the race cars sitting on display at the event and takes off through the streets of Chicago at night, without helmet and is pursued by his team-mate who jumped into the other car on display and we have the ultimate chase seen, in race cars, in traffic, through downtown Chicago at speeds of 195 mph (without helmets or goggles), while being chased by the cops, helicopters, etc. Blowing skirts up of a young lady so we get to see her knickers. When the chase is over the team-mates get out of the cars, walk to a park, and have a heart to heart discussion about motor racing - unbothered by the police or any of the 3,000,000 angry spectators they have run off the road or come close to killing.
All in all I have never laughed in disbelief so hard at a racing movie before, adds John. The genre is usually bad - Grand Prix being the best of them, and it really isn't all that good, but this must be the worst I've seen.
Sylvester Stallone stars in the movie alongside Burt Reynolds, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the legendary Turk Thrust we kid you not! Either this is a cult classic in the making, or race fans should avoid it at all costs.
Driven to distraction?
May 1: Planet F1 looks at the racing movie that has them unintentionally rolling in the aisles, Sylvester Stallones Driven
Remember a couple of years ago, when Sylvester Stallone was going to make that F1 movie?
Remember how 'Sly' travelled the world with the F1 circus, shaking hands with Jean and 'Fisi', having his picture taken with Schumi and Mika?
Remember how 'Rocky' eventually shelved his plans for an F1 movie because of the lack of co-operation with a certain similarly diminutive gentleman - may nasal hair never blemish his nostrils - and instead turned his attention towards CART?
Well, although most Formula One fans in America are unable to watch their favourite sport on TV, at least they can look forward to seeing some real high octane action in Stallone's finished product 'Driven', which went on general release at the weekend.
Or can they?
Planet F1 editor Chris Balfe's good friend John Lane went to see the movie, and urged him to forewarn his readers.
I went to see the movie 'Driven' last night, writes John. This movie is harmful to the health of all motor racing fans. You will laugh so hard at the various aspects that are so wrong that it might be considered a comedy.
Amongst other classics, John points out the following
The pit stop where new tyres are taken off and replaced with old tyres complete with dirt and gravel.
The race for the World Championship that consists of Cart and Formula Atlantic cars.
The young protagonist is a spectacle wearing kid, we all know that racing drivers don't wear glasses, oops, I forgot about JV.
The young protagonist's manager is his slick, business talking, brother - ring any bells?
The young protagonist's team boss is in a wheel chair.
While racing Cart cars in Germany on a road course in the penultimate round of the 'World Championship' the replacement driver/team-mate of the young protagonist goes off the course, while in second place, has a huge crash (gas fire, not alcohol). The young protagonist turns around, while in second place and leading the World Championship, drives against the traffic back to the wreck, and about 600 yards through grass, dirt and trees, to rescue his team-mate. The number two driver in the World Championship battle stops his car on the next lap and also gets out to help rescue the crashed driver. They save the driver just before the car blows up with enough force to create a mushroom cloud of fire and smoke that resembles Hiroshima.
The young protagonist breaks his foot and is fired by the wheel chair bound team manager because, as a rookie, who is second in the World Championship, he doesn't have what it takes to be a race driver. And there isn't even a line of other team managers trying to hire him. Remember, he is second in the World Championship as a rookie.
The young protagonist manages, complete with broken foot, to talk 'wheel chair bound' team manager out of replacing him for the last race - after qualifying is over, and as a result starts dead last in the last race (Detroit). He, and his team-mate, team up to start dead last and pass every other car in the field, using every illegal method possible on a race trace, and several that are not even possible, to win the race and the World Championship. The finish includes the team-mate spinning a quarter of a mile, down the centre of the track, to cross the finish line.
Oh - I forgot. At a black tie affair, in Chicago, the young protagonist and his main rival get into a dust up over a woman. The young protagonist takes off in one of the race cars sitting on display at the event and takes off through the streets of Chicago at night, without helmet and is pursued by his team-mate who jumped into the other car on display and we have the ultimate chase seen, in race cars, in traffic, through downtown Chicago at speeds of 195 mph (without helmets or goggles), while being chased by the cops, helicopters, etc. Blowing skirts up of a young lady so we get to see her knickers. When the chase is over the team-mates get out of the cars, walk to a park, and have a heart to heart discussion about motor racing - unbothered by the police or any of the 3,000,000 angry spectators they have run off the road or come close to killing.
All in all I have never laughed in disbelief so hard at a racing movie before, adds John. The genre is usually bad - Grand Prix being the best of them, and it really isn't all that good, but this must be the worst I've seen.
Sylvester Stallone stars in the movie alongside Burt Reynolds, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the legendary Turk Thrust we kid you not! Either this is a cult classic in the making, or race fans should avoid it at all costs.
They're right! I know they tried to make the movie good for everyone (including non-racing enthusiasts), but they did do some really over-the-top stuff. Have you seen it yet, Talentless?
