Family Dilemma

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Jugend

Jugend

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I can't get this moral dilemma, or what it is, straight.

Background: I am 28 years and one of my sisters is 16. She lives at home and I just found out (she told me) that she's been drinking and partying with her friends for about a year or so. Like most normal swedish teenagers. She wanted me to buy a bottle of vodka for her (here you are allowed to buy booze when you get 20) and after some thought I did it.. As far as I know our parents doesn't know she's drinking and also they are quite conservative christians so if they find out she might get grounded or something.

Anyway when I started to think about the whole situation. The burning point wasn't buying liqour to an underaged, it was what right I have to treat my sister in a way that my parents (with 99% certainty) doesn't wan't her to be raised. I trust her, shes a bright kid and I have met her when she's under the influence w her friends so I'm not worried about her being able to take care of herself or something like that.

So, I trust her and in a way I can justify buying a bottle of booze once in a while for her. Otherwise someone else has a sibling or friend that buys for them or they'll just get some homemade ***.
But on the other hand she's semi-adult and still raised by them. Is it right of me to treat her in a way that makes it easier for her to do things that our parents don't want her to do?

All I get from me is both yes and no, but that's often what life is like, never white or black, always in shades of grey.

What do you think is right?

David
 
I don't think that you should have bought the vodka. You should stop the problem before it gets worse.
 
My advice/suggestions.

Don't do it. So what if you think that she's a responsible person when under the influence? Chances are, some of her buddies aren't exactly the aforementioned responsible individuals. She's a 16 year old girl and too many guys fantasize (it's a sick world isn't it?) about getting some with a drunk girl. There are far too many variables. She has a great deal of her life to live and drugs/alcohol is notorious for destroying peoples' futures. It sounds like your sister is a nice person, so why risk destroying that with alcohol?

Moreover, you're 28 years old and, if not already, going to be a father in the near future. I doubt any responsible father would introduce alcohol to their children before they're legal adults.

They can wait.
 
Well thnx for your ops but mabye I wasn't clear enough. Im not so interested in if to supply or not bcos as I said, she'll get the stuff anyhow. She asked me once a month ago and hasn't since so it's not that her alcohol consumption is depending on my actions.

My point was wether my treatment of a semi-adult sibling that is different from what my parents want is correct or not. That moral dilemma caught me and it is very interesting - the stated example is just an example to give light to the type of conflict wich can be found in many different situations.

David
 
Will you buy me some? j/k :lol:

just make sure were and when shes doin it so it dont get out of hand
 
i think it's fine. it could only build your relationship with your sister and if she's going to get it anyway it won't affect your parents at all.
 
Originally posted by jeffc
i think it's fine. it could only build your relationship with your sister and if she's going to get it anyway it won't affect your parents at all.
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You are totally entitled to your own opinions.

What do you mean by "build your relationship" and "won't affect your parents at all"? I'm sorry, but if my daughter or sister was drunk and put it risk to countless potential dangers and trouble, I'd be more concerned about her well-being. Her parents are going to be affected if something, God forbid, happens. GTJugend will have no relationship to build if something, God forbid, happens. Think about this one.
 
I am five years older than most of my friends. I have known them since they were born. When I turned 21 I was buying them booze all the time. But then something changed my mind.

I found out they were taking their boozing on the road. I have a very short fuse for people who drink and drive because an old girl friend was killed by a drunk driver when I was 18. As soon as I found this out , I didn't buy them a drop.

I suggest you do the same. I'm sure you are not always around your little sister, like I thought I was always around my friends, to see what she is up too all the time.
 
I don't think you should have done it.

For a start, it's illegal to buy alcohol with the intention of supplying it to a minor.

Secondly, I believe that you should only go against the wishes/authority of your parents when you clearly believe that those wishes are wrong, or that the authority is being abused. This is not the case for you at the moment - hence your dilemma.

If I were in your position, I would not tell me parents that my sister were drinking, but I certainly would not aid her in that course of action.
 
she's a teenager. she's going to sneek around your parents back and drink and stuff. i don't think you need to worry about it. just don't make buying her alcohol a habitt. trust me weather you get it for her or not she's going to get it. she just seems like a normal teenage girl to me and your doing what most older brothers do in that situation cuz she's your sister and you trust her.
 
Originally posted by Squid


just make sure were and when shes doin it so it dont get out of hand [/B]
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This is the best advice in my opinion, as long as you know its controled and shes not out getting hurt or into trouble.
 
I'll side with Giles as that's pretty close to what I thought in my first reading of this.

While she may want to go against your parents wishes, it's not your position to aid her in that.

I got caught in a similar situation. Only a tad more complex. Seems while I was in college, my younest brother (5 years) found one of my old licenses it hadn't expired yet, as I had gotten a picture ID when I turned 21. So two years later, he took my old one, memorized the pertinent information (at the time, he was nearly identical to the my appearance.) and walked into the DMV with the explanation of a stolen wallet. A few short forms and a snapshot later, he had a legal ID showing him as being 23 years old.

I didn't find out until he really turned 21 and gave me the picture ID with his face on it.

My advice to you, is don't advertise the fact she is drinking, tell her from your experiences what dangers she runs, and suggest that if she does drink, she needs to do it in a place that is safe and she's with people she can trust. And tell her that you are always a phone call away should she need to get out of where she is.

Good Luck

AO
 
Originally posted by Solid Lifters
I found out they were taking their boozing on the road. I have a very short fuse for people who drink and drive because an old girl friend was killed by a drunk driver when I was 18. As soon as I found this out , I didn't buy them a drop.
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I feel the same way, and im sry to hear about ur girlfriend
 
Giles, yes that makes sense, our parents arent abusing their power in any way towards her, and besides that I can never put myself in their position of having a daughter that they want to protect. It's much easier to be easy on a younger sibling cause in some way you can join forces in the very common parent-child conflict. And that's not my mission to lead her in a specific way there, Der alta..

Besides that I have no intention to break the trust she gave me telling me this.. It's probably very important for her not to feel judged or else she probably backs off and feels she has nowhere to turn if things goes out of hand sometimes..

Thanx for your advices. I'll see how I'll tackle this the next time she asks me to buy for her.

David
 
Good luck to ya David!! Glad we could be of some assistance to your family matters. :D
 
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