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- Alabamamania
Welcome to Fatmouse.
Fatmouse exists in many guises, in many places. Fatmouse GTP is one such guise. All guises of Fatmouse adopt three founding principles:
The Purpose of Fatmouse
Fatmouse GTP is dedicated to bringing cynics together. To rant. Cynically, about anything they chose.
What is a cynic?
Even the dictionary definition of a cynic makes us look like scoundrels:
Aside from casting us in a negative light, Webster & Co. miss the point by half a mile. Where's the hint of lost ideals, the rueful humor, the wounded childlike soul that lurks behind the cynic's sarcasm? What a sadly maligned and misunderstood tribe we are! Cynicism, after all, springs not from cruelty or viciousness, but from precisely the opposite: A fatal love of virtue. If we were mere realists, we'd have no need for cynicism; the world would never disappoint us because we'd expect so little of it. But the best cynics are still idealists under their scarred hides. We wanted the world to be a better place, and we can't shrug off the disappointment when it lets us down. Our cynicism gives us the painful power to behold life shorn of its sustaining illusions. Thus my own definition of a cynic:
"an idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his vision."
If we were activists, we'd do something constructive about our discontentment. But we're smart enough to know that we won't prevail, and probably a little too lazy to attempt any labor that's predestined to fail. So we retaliate with our special brand of wounded wit. If we can't defeat our oppressors, at least we can mock them in good fellowship. That's about as much justice as a cynic can expect.”
How to join Fatmouse
Interested in joining Fatmouse? You do not become a cynic. You either are already a cynic. Or you are not a cynic. It is something you are, not what you become. To be accepted into Fatmouse GTP, make three suggestions that could be added to the below list of vexations that a cynic recognises as being vexations. Based on those three suggestions, Fatmouse will decide on your authenticity as a cynic. If successful, your name will be placed on the Registry of Cynics. If unsuccessful, Fatmouse doesn’t care.
Book of Previous Vexations: I - II - III - IV
Last year, I dispensed with titles. As (former?) Chancellor of the Registry, I can do such things. But I was unmoved just the same.
Fatmouse exists in many guises, in many places. Fatmouse GTP is one such guise. All guises of Fatmouse adopt three founding principles:
- Fatmouse + you = Fatmouse
- Fatmouse can make you a winner. Fatmouse can make you a loser. Fatmouse doesn’t care to make you a winner or a loser.
- Fatmouse is unmoved.
The Purpose of Fatmouse
Fatmouse GTP is dedicated to bringing cynics together. To rant. Cynically, about anything they chose.
What is a cynic?
Even the dictionary definition of a cynic makes us look like scoundrels:
Aside from casting us in a negative light, Webster & Co. miss the point by half a mile. Where's the hint of lost ideals, the rueful humor, the wounded childlike soul that lurks behind the cynic's sarcasm? What a sadly maligned and misunderstood tribe we are! Cynicism, after all, springs not from cruelty or viciousness, but from precisely the opposite: A fatal love of virtue. If we were mere realists, we'd have no need for cynicism; the world would never disappoint us because we'd expect so little of it. But the best cynics are still idealists under their scarred hides. We wanted the world to be a better place, and we can't shrug off the disappointment when it lets us down. Our cynicism gives us the painful power to behold life shorn of its sustaining illusions. Thus my own definition of a cynic:
"an idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his vision."
If we were activists, we'd do something constructive about our discontentment. But we're smart enough to know that we won't prevail, and probably a little too lazy to attempt any labor that's predestined to fail. So we retaliate with our special brand of wounded wit. If we can't defeat our oppressors, at least we can mock them in good fellowship. That's about as much justice as a cynic can expect.”
How to join Fatmouse
Interested in joining Fatmouse? You do not become a cynic. You either are already a cynic. Or you are not a cynic. It is something you are, not what you become. To be accepted into Fatmouse GTP, make three suggestions that could be added to the below list of vexations that a cynic recognises as being vexations. Based on those three suggestions, Fatmouse will decide on your authenticity as a cynic. If successful, your name will be placed on the Registry of Cynics. If unsuccessful, Fatmouse doesn’t care.
Book of Previous Vexations: I - II - III - IV
Last year, I dispensed with titles. As (former?) Chancellor of the Registry, I can do such things. But I was unmoved just the same.
) who seem to think that just because my car's interior is spotless then I must be perfectly willing to clean it some more when they leave their trash all over.
got you
Tsk tsk. For shame, Perfect Balance.
