Funny car stories

[Gordonfan24]

First, I must say that I passed the state test to get my NJ learner's permit! Now, all I have to do is wait till I turn 16 in August and I can apply for the road test! [I can't wait!! - ] I had to get that out of the way first.

Anyway, my friends and I were wondering and chatting today about what some of our "firsts" would be as a driver; so this got me wondering if anyone had some funny or entertaining "firsts", or driving stories in general, that they have and would like to share. I don't have any yet, but I'm sure I will.


EDIT: Yes I did do the search, and I saw it was done once, back in 2002, so I wanted to a newer, updated version; I'm sure something new has happened to someone in the past 2 years...

 

[MistaX]

First time I drove my friend's 2004 Pontiac GTO, I hit the accelerator a tad too hard after putting it into reverse.

Burnout...backward.
Scared the crap out of the both of us.

 

[Victor Vance]

First real motorcycle 'accident' happened last week in the rain. I didn't get hurt but it costed $46 for a new clutch handle. What happened? I was in the middle of a sharp turn and hit the accelerator not realizing the road was damp and covered with wet leaves from the rain the night before. I only gassed it maybe 25% but the 350's torque snapped the rear end loose and I was down before I could save it

(amaetur's mistake)

 

[RVDNuT374]

The only funny car story I really have was the first day I got my SC Beginners Permit. (I'm not from down there, I'm originally from New Jersey ; we just moved down there for some unknown reason, now we're back in NJ) It was my first real time driving on the roads, and my grandfather let me drive his 2 ton Ford Exploder. My mom and dad decided to ride w/ us the 2nd time. With my inexpierence, I was coming into turns way too fast and braking too late. To end it, my mom made my dad's arm black and blue after holding on for her life. *Don't worry, I somehow didn't run off the road into a tree.*

 

[1X83Z]

I remember going 100mph for the first time, racing my girlfriend on a public street where the speed limit was 45. I wonder what the fine would've been for 55 over.

 

[Victor Vance]

You were racing your girlfriend? You're starting to sound like Keisuke Takahashi...

 

[1X83Z]

You were racing your girlfriend? You're starting to sound like Keisuke Takahashi...

Yeah - I totally know who that is.

 

[Victor Vance]

I'll bet you don't know her name is Kyoko.

And I'll bet even more you didn't know she also drives an FD

 

[1X83Z]

I do know, however, that Initial D sucks.

 

[Victor Vance]

H8r. Some people get it and some don't I guess...

I know everything about IniD, even beyond the end of Fourth Stage, so, if you ever change your mind, call me. I'll hook you up

 

[Sage]

- 2004 Volvo S60R (Ordered! 11/11/04)

I swear to god…

Anyway, the only funny thing I can remember from anytime recently is: I was sitting in my car at Trader Joe's, waiting for my mom to get something. I look over to my left, and notice an old lady backing her light blue Buick out (oh so stereotypical)… next to her is a parked Dodge Caravan. Anyway, she started turning the wheel way too early and backed up way too fast, and just slammed her front fender right into the poor Caravan's side (and I really do mean "slam"… both cars were shaking from the impact). She paused for a second, then continued backing out and drove away. I just thought it was funny because it happened for randomly, and her was this old lady pretending like she hadn't done anything. No, I didn't get her license plate number (and we had to leave before the owner of the Caravan came back anyway).

 

[Victor Vance]

It'd be funny to me, but, in Concordia Center (a strip mall in Monroe, NJ) things like that are an everyday occurance. I was nearly killed by one of those geezers (he was driving his car halfway on the sidewalk... hello!) I don't find it amusing.

 

[1X83Z]

I swear to god…

What? Don't like it?

 

[Sage]

No, I love it (seriously!) – But how many different cars must you buy?

 

[Victor Vance]

LOL, that's like us.

Last year:

'93 Buick Roadmaster
'97 Mercury Grand Marquis

Right now:
'93 Buick Roadmaster
'04 Chevrolet Suburban (2500 series)

Prediction for early next year:

'93 Mazda RX-7 (mroe likely than not)
'04 Mazda3
'03 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 Ext cab (used)

 

[1X83Z]

No, I love it (seriously!) – But how many different cars must you buy?

This is the first car in forever that I actually need to buy. I don't believe that A4 lasts another six months. I'm considering titling it salvage (since it had major components replaced, ie an automatic transmission) so I can sell it to a government auction or simply sell it for parts to a yard in Chicago. I could just sell it to a lot, I guess, but I'll get next to nothing given its condition. The Volvo dealer offered me $3900 for it as trade on the S60 (for a four-year-old Quattro A4 with nearly every option including an automatic plus ski racks, mind you); it's that bad. It's worth about $13000 in good shape.

 

[Victor Vance]

Try it private market, see if you get any hits. Maybe the 1st was a dud... my neighbor has a A4 with 125,000 miles on it, still on 1st trans.

 

[1X83Z]

The automatic was great. Its driver was not. It's an awful car, though it's not Audi's or the car's fault. Hell, I'd buy another. In fact, I should get an S4 instead of the S60, but we all know the S60 is actually for me and the ML500 is for her, and I like the S60 better.

 

[Duke]

OK, I've got one:

My friend's mother was looking for a car "with some pickup" back in the early '80s. The early '80s were not know for snappy cars, so one day my friend laughingly pointed out a '70 GTO Judge for sale, in Screamer Orange, with the yellow/black fender stripes, and told her "that's got some pickup for you!" To his amazement, she loved it and bought it. Remember, this was when you couldn't give cars like that away. The thing had a Ram-Air IV 428, a very short LSD rear, and a Hurst close-ratio four on the floor. It was true beast of American muscle.

The only problem was, she didn't know how to drive a manual trans. Now, my friend and I were both 17, and we'd been driving tractors and farm trucks, etc. for years, so we decided to teach her. So we climb in with her behind the wheel, for a lesson or two. After the first half dozen starts, we realize she's launching in 3rd gear, but the thing has so much torque it barely notices. We correct that issue, and she's getting the hang of it, so we figure we'll try an uphill stop/start.

We find a stop sign on a bit of a hill, well away from traffic, and have her pull up. She takes her foot off the brake and gives it a little gas, and of course the car starts rolling backwards. She panics a bit and gives it more gas, but neglects to remember the clutch. We remind her. Still the car is rolling backwards, and still she's giving it more gas, and still it's not going forward, and still we're telling her to let the clutch out. After 10 or 15 seconds, the car is moving backwards at a brisk run, the engine's at about 5000, and we yell "LET THE CLUTCH OUT!" in chorus.

So she peglegs the clutch. Totally sidesteps it.

With all that pent up torque, and the backwards momentum, the car barely lurches. It just instantly lights up the back tires and keeps roaring. In fact it broke traction so instaneously that it took about 5 more seconds to even stop moving backwards, before ponderously working its way back up the hill, wagging its tail slowly back and forth in a cloud of tire smoke. Still she's got her foot to the floor in panic. The car finally starts to hook up, and we arrive back at the stop sign. Realizing she's about to blow through it, she stomps the brakes, stopping and stalling the car, but ending the prizewinning burnout.

My friend and I collapse in hysterics while a small forest fire's worth of tire smoke rolls away from the car across the fields. To her credit, she kept at it and did learn to drive the car, though she only drove it for a year or so before giving it to my friend when he graduated from high school (the lucky bastige).

 

[Victor Vance]

The automatic was great. Its driver was not. It's an awful car, though it's not Audi's or the car's fault. Hell, I'd buy another. In fact, I should get an S4 instead of the S60, but we all know the S60 is actually for me and the ML500 is for her, and I like the S60 better.

I'll just go under the assumption this 'her' isn't the same girl that you were dueling at 55 over the limit against...

 

[1X83Z]

My friend and I collapse in hysterics while a small forest fire's worth of tire smoke rolls away from the car across the fields. To her credit, she kept at it and did learn to drive the car, though she only drove it for a year or so before giving it to my friend when he graduated from high school (the lucky bastige).

That story does kick ass.

I'll just go under the assumption this 'her' isn't the same girl that you were dueling at 55 over the limit against...

Nah, that was a long time ago. "Her" is my new (pregnant) wife.

 

[Victor Vance]

Ahh, I see. You're pretty settled then huh? No more wild nights down the boulevard, huh?

Well, I have something to look forward to then; Those days are shortly over the horizon for me

 

[1X83Z]

Well, I have something to look forward to then; Those days are shortly over the horizon for me

Make sure not to get AIDS; all the cool people don't have it.

Or you could marry at 18 like I wanted to.

 

[Victor Vance]

Don't worry, I'm not crazy about sex as it is. I'm old school in the sense that it's not only a possible extreme responsibility but also something that can only be shared between two people who love each other so much they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other, not a fun night out.

Anyway, I'm more concerned about me (this is a prediction, it might be another car) going out the first time of my life in the FD and doing something stupid. One reason I'm not crazy about keeping an engine as powerful as the stock twin turbo.

Dad married at, I think 21... well, he's 49, and married in '74 or '75... you do the math.

 

[1X83Z]

Anyway, I'm more concerned about me (this is a prediction, it might be another car) going out the first time of my life in the FD and doing something stupid.

I was concerned about that too. Always pay attention. When I started driving, I drove like a total asshole, weaving, speeding, etc. and I still don't mind teenagers doing that, PROVIDED they pay FULL attention to the road. Knowing cars helps, because you think, "there's a white Celica in my blindspot" not just "there's a car in my blindspot". "There's a car in my blindspot" leads to forgetting that, indeed, there's a car in your blindspot, whereas if you know what sort of car it is you tend to remember. I do, at least. Always stopping for yellow lights is another tactic I adopted (as was honking at people who ran red lights the other direction).

And I remember in high school I never got around to actually looking at my passenger when I was driving, which hasn't much changed even to this day. I loved music growing up too, but I never had it on very loud, because I loved cars more and driving was always more interesting.

I guess the moral is that you can never prevent the accidents that you have no control over, but if you always pay full attention and keep control, you can prevent all the accidents that are potentially your fault.

 

[Victor Vance]

I know the cars to the point that I don't even have to think I can say the name in a split second. That sorta scares me. (my own knowing of cars)

Anyway, nah, I mean something like, I dunno, seeing what she's got and a deer jumping in my way or me practicing getting sideways and screwing up ect.

But I try not to race on the street. It's illegal, there's other people to consider for safety, and when I turn 18 I can always join the SCCA and start autocrossing...

 

[1X83Z]

Eff that. Racing on the street is fun. You do have to be extremely cognizant of the police, though - that's a ticket you can't get, no matter how old you are.

 

[Gordonfan24]

I agree, neon_duke, that story does kick ass! I would've died laughing too, but then again, I've only driven a stick once, in Italy (I'm 15, so I've got a few years to go). [Here's my only experience driving a stick, or any car on a main road: Post #182 - http://gtplanet.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3587&page=10&pp=20 ]

I have one kinda similar story to the old lady one... Two years ago, there was an old man that lived across the street from me, and he drove - ready for this surprise...an Oldsmobile! (That was sarcasm) Anyway, he was backing out of his driveway one day, and my friend and I were playing basketball a house away, so we stopped to watch him maneuver his car out into the street. I'm glad we stopped to watch, because for some reason, as he was backing out, he turned the wheel...a lot. As a result, he drove onto his front lawn. So he put it into drive and got back into his driveway for a second shot. This time, he made it almost all the way to the street when he turned the wheel again. But now he went onto the lawn on the other side of his driveway, didn't correct it, and backed right up and over his mailbox! It was absolutely hilarious!!
That's all I've really got for a funny story, but I think it qualifies.

- 2000 Audi A4 1.8T Quattro sedan (FOR SALE: God I hate this thing)

Why do you hate it? How much are you looking to get for it? My uncle is looking for a nice car, his Dodge minivan blew a motor (don't ask me how) and his Chevy Tracker just isn't cutting it.

 

[Gil]

Okay, one night in my 16th or 17th year, I was playing "car tag" with my best friend's older brother. He is driving a 1976 Mercury Capri. I'm in my mother's '71 Ford Galaxie 500.
The crux of this story revolves around the fact that the Galaxie didn't have power brakes.
So, I'm chasing Terry down the street and remember the stop sign at the bottom of the hill.
I'm rolling almost 50mph and 100-150 feet from the sign I stomp on the brakes. Much to my chagrin, nothing happens. So about 200 feet later, I have both feet on the brake pedal, my ass is foot off the seat and my back is pressed tighly into the seat-back for leverage, when the car rolls, not skids, gently to a stop.
Terry made the right turn, and avoided having the Galaxie, "eat" his Capri. I ended up about two car lengths up the cross street.
I never again gave that particular car less than the length of a football field to stop.
And I started to carry a second pair of underwear in the event that I needed to make an "emergency" stop.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Theres always funny stories in the back of my MOTOR mags...

Heres one called BODY OF EVIDENCE.

If you think you're lazy when it comes to cleaning out your car, you've got nothing on a man from brno, Czechosloakia, who opened the boot of his car for the first time in a year, and found a dead body inside. The man made the grizzly discovery when he finally got around to cleaning his Renaut Laguna. He told police he had no idea how long the body had been in the car and couldn't remember when he had last opened his boot. Police have identified it as that of a 42-year-old local man who had been reported missing, according to Czech daily blesk. Police spokeswoman Jana Sipkova said: "There were no injury marks on the body, but we are awaiting autopsy results."