GT5; Clarkson Style.

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Boffin

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Seeing as this thread enjoyed some level of success, it seems reasonable to try it again with the fully fledged GT5 now in swing.

Couple of things:

What I'd like here is car reviews. How cars handle, how they tune, give us an insight into how they drive and sound and how they make you feel when driving them.

If you have tuned it, tell us what you've done to it as well. It's no point saying the Suzuki Cappuccino does lurid powerslides in 3rd gear around hairpins and long sweepers in 4th. Yours might, stock ones don't.

What I don't want are people coming in here using this as a place to explore their impersonation skills of Jeremy Clarkson. Yes I know his name is in the title, but that is because he is a world renowned car journo. Not many people would understand if I said GT5; Harry Metcalfe/Tom Ford/Richard Meaden/Jethro Bovingdon style. I want your own writing style and analogies.

So get too it! Got an opinion on a car? Write a review about it here! 👍

*Place reserved for pending MX5 review*
 
Cool! 👍 I have a crazy monster for you if you ever want to have a go :p
 
Damn man i missed this thread, ill be sure to contribute when i get my slim! great times in the GT5p clarkson style thread, My F40 one loved it.
 
Integra Type-R (DC5-gen, '04)

Tuned.... got an award last night Tuning nut or something for tuning my integra past what i would guess to be what is 80% of total tuning options. It's pretty sick. It's a NA car FF. Approx 340bhp. Lightened, lowered and with racing tyres. It is obviously not the fastest in a straight line but I was amazed at how close it will stay to some seriously fast cars when racing. I entered the World championship in the Professional section of Spec A. The car is slow off the line being front wheel drive however being a little brave into the first bend fixes that considering how the AI negotiates it. Important in any car but more so in this, the idea being scrape enough speed off into the corner allowing for early application of some horse power. I saw north of 185 mph on the nurb and I wasnt really that close to the car in front. Standard trans. This car screams engine noise from inside the car is good (it rarely goes below 8000rpm) and it is epic during replays. also i drive with all driver aids off. ABS is the antichrist. this makes it easier to step the back of the car out when coming into a corner too hot scraping additional speed off and setting the car up nicely for the exit. In terms of controlling the car it does understeer under had acc at speeds under 100mph. however lifting off the acc and turning in steps the back of the car out nicely and any oversteer can be irradicated by applying the throttle. In essence my fav car so far... even though thats due to change over the course of the next few months! :) I was really looking forward to the NSX but the braking (with abs=0) is difficult to say the least with the MR cars in the game. :)
 
edit, wrong thread.

On the subject.

The Mclaren F1 because its the best car......


In the world.
 
I tried the 458 Italia... All I can say is: POWEEEEEEEEEEER! :)

I'll say just like the real Clarkson: It darts into the corners!
 
1954 Corvette Convertible.

At first you think, 'what a dreadful car'. Sunday Cup beats it hollow. It sounds like eight lawnmowers chained together in some strange and boring bondage scenario. It has two gears. Two! Admittedly this is not a rev-happy engine, but it seems laughable. And then you go and buy all the 'period' engine enhancements, even a supercharger, while leaving the rest of it entirely the same, and...

It's still a laughable car. But the laughter is laughter of glee.

Let's talk about the steering. The '54 Corvette has the mechanics of an old truck. The engine sounds like that of a truck. And the feel of the steering is like a big old truck, but with the weedy, skinny old tyres and wallowing, soggy suspension, it's not rough and bumpy and uncomfortable like a truck- it's rather like rowing a canoe about. You wrench the wheel over, and the car thinks about turning that direction- maybe. Or perhaps it would like to plow ahead and go over the curb, instead. If it does, I promise you- you won't notice. Go-kart ride and handling, this isn't.

When you give it all the engine mods that feel right- no ECU, so we leave that out, everything else like headers and stage 3 and even a supercharger- and then turn all aids and traction controls off- we start to get into a very amusing zone. The supercharger howls like an industrial age spleen-processing plant. It develops an air of lament and desperation right at the point that the rev limiter will kick in, so you can hold it at that with the throttle as you careen down the Sarthe straight for an hour or two. Now, you are the master. Now, you can outdistance other geriatric, outdated sports cars!

So why would you want to drive such an ungainly oaf of a vehicle? Put simply: it is like all the things we love about overpowered, screaming supercars, but in waltz time. With the engine mods, it'll break the rear tyres free in first, and will possibly powerslide, like the swinging of a very large, obsolete pendulum. You feel the weight of the thing, cranking the steering wheel around. It'll understeer, oversteer, it will do all manner of vehicular mayhem, yet in slow motion, thanks to the shockingly naive tyres and their complete inability to do more than nervously suggest to the mass of the hurtling vehicle, a hoped-for direction.

It's like waltzing with a large and amorous ox. It is so very eager, and so very stupid, but there's a charm in that. Play nicely with it, and there's a strange beauty in the lovely, useless thing as it gallops along, swaying and galumphing through corners in the highest of spirits. Give it the engine stuff and the supercharger and it kicks up the dust and brays like a farm animal in rut, all down the straight.

Expect it to do anything useful like an Evo or Ferrari, and you're getting a good cattle-rogering :D
 
The mighty M3 CSL...

My favorite car on GT4. Period. But hey, I'm starting bad, this is a GT5 review... so. How it would feel on GT5?

Looking for the cars for the last 2 days, I've only come across a Lagunaseca blau regular M3, bought it. As a bimmer fan I couldn't resist. It was pretty, not much mileage on it. Went for an oil change and straight to Dunsfold. (TGTT).

Started right before Ganbon and well... second gear, down the hammer, slide... WOOOOOOOOOO its just as great as I tought!!!! Feels light, the inline 6 sounds awesomelly good and handles like if it taken away your own hands and feet and now are on its places. But still something is missing. It's not as light as the legendary E30... It is light. It is sharp. It IS controlable. But if that could be improved? CSL baby. I want that.

Day 3, the used car dealer... There it is... in black, 28k on odo. 97k credits for it. Sound expensive for a car with cardboard on the trunk. I don't freakin care... It's the CSL. It's the top dog from the M3 heritage. (Let's forget the M3 GTR, its awesome, but gets front-heavy because of the V8) I just want it. BADLY. Bought it... oil change... Dunsfold again.

Pick the regular M3 sensations and just sharpen then. Add a magnificent look. With deadly sexy details such as the trunk spoiler, the carbon roof, the agressive front bumper. The overall stance of the car is amazing. It looks, feels, smell, sound racing... AND GOD, the sound it makes! It's just what people say around... it sounds like the air being sucked, mixed with gasoline, exploding, burning and being kicked in high velocity by the nice quad exhaust pipes. It's something to enjoy in all its glory. The handling its sharp and mindblowing. It's easy, controlable, predictable like NOTHING I've ever driven. From fat couch-potato to racing driver in 4 corners. Drifts are easy, burning rubber, screaming around... If you put on Google: "driving by your instincts", a picture of an E46 M3 CSL will appear. God, I'm in love!

It's BMW as its very best. Nice quote, So I'll end this with it.

*Actually the car is SO GOOD, that I just went back to the car dealer hours later and I just found another one, bought it thinking about trading it. NAH, no way. Keep it for myself. Running on titanium exhaust. Sounds racy as hell. Happy to own the first white CSL in the world =)
 
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Ripped from old thread.

Ferrari f40, initiate jeremys voice in your head


The day's of the fire breathing snorting dragon supercars.....Have gone.

Only to be replaced.... by half-aussed self guiding techological lumps of machinery

Not saying that its necssersarily a bad thing, But in other way's i am,

Every thing nowadays are just to posh, to sivalized, to well kept,

What happen to the days of loud roaring unchained v12s, the days of scaring little pre school kids when you rumbled on by, The thrill of climbing into a v12 non airconditioning death trap and going for a latenight scuisidal drive?

I just dont get it, Every car i have driven on here, is just a car..........There really wasent any passion, any soul, any feeling that the car could fall all apart at anytime.

just you surrounded in fine leather clad seats, and satnav rubish.

I DONT WANT THAT... I want the true sensation of speed, Not some woman telling me my when turn is comming up... In my opinion, all of these modern road burning super cars are just rubbish,

+
But... What if we were to switch things up a bit,.... What if instead of bringing out somthing shiny and new.. We brought out somthing Old and dangerous...
What if...(ferarri f40 snorting and spewing in the distance.) (jeremys hmmmMMMmmm) Now lot.. now, i think we are getting some where,

Cue music, and scene changes.

Ladys and gentelman ide like to Re-introduce you to the king, Of the supercar,
A Car... Still even today that could frighten your granmother.... The terrifying nail bighting fire snorting beer throughing drunk.


The ferarri F40...



Look at it, This is what its all about, This is were it all starts to make sence..
You would imagine if you showed up to a garden party in one of these they would ask you to leave, But thats what its suposed to be about, Its not suposed to be a Pretty magestic lady in a party dress... Its suposed to be a frightning midle aged widow with a nack for ocasionaly beating her husbands with tire irons,

You just get the feeling, when you look at this car, you know its fast, you know it will kill you, But you just dont care. You dont care about the stone age welding in the interior, you dont care, that The fire wall is 2 cm away from the back of your head, You dont even care about the alarming gear grinding 5 speed, But you do care about the haritage, the passion, the charecter, its just a big lump of what use to be, and what has gone.
And i love it.... I absolutely adore this car, forget Koeningzegs forget Bugattis, It just all comes down to this, I mean just look at this simple interior, i mean sure.... it looks as if it was designed by pre school kids with just some crayons and a ruler and sure the dash board looks like a shag carpet from a hippy mobile.... ...But it works, For example, You get behind the wheel of a enzo and you think, My word... But this, this is just the buisness, this is pure racing haritige enginereing at its best AND NO STUPID FLAPPY PADDLE GEAR BOX, Just a propper 5 speed manual with a clutch.

Now to start it, F40 engine pop, then reving sound

AS I DRIVE THIS CAR RIGHT NOW....I HAVE TO YELL, ITS JUST SO DAMN LOUD, AND THATS THE WAY ITS SUPOSED TO BE, ITS NOT QUIET AND RESTRAINT IT JUST ROARS, AND WITH THIS YOU CAN JUST GET THE JIST OF WHAT THIS CAR IS REALLY ABOUT, YOU KNOW ITS THERE, IT HAS A PRESENCE LIKE A FEROCIOUS LION, AND YOU JUST WANT TO APRECIATE IT, I MEAN, I CANT REALY EXPLAIN IT...... THANKS TO THIS TWIN TURBO CHARGED FIRE BREATHING V8 CHURNING OUT SMOLDERING BURNING HORSES OUT OF THE TAIL PIPES, AFTER ABOUT 4 THOUSANDS RPM THE TURBO CHARGES START TO SOUND LIKE CROSS LAND JET FIGHTERS, IT IS JUST ASTONISHING ppooOOOWWWEERRrrrrrr, I AM ABOSULETLY HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE....
JUST LISTEN TO THAT,WOHOHOHOOO JUST AMAZING.......

This is it, this is were it all begain, this is the beer throughing kindergarden scaring monster that i was talking about, This, is just the propper True therobread supercar from the middle ages.


Audience clapping



Hoped you enjoy it!
 
Ahh, this thread again. Good to see it again...


Dragged from the old thread:

Honda NSX (Stock) vs. Nissan GTR (Stock)

It was a sunny day at Suzuka Circuit almost 20 years ago when Ayrton Senna was fine tuning the test mule that would become the new Honda supercar, the NSX. Lap after lap of hardcore testing, fine-tuning the car to his high standards. Nothing but the best would be accepted by the F1 great. The car should, to a degree, handle like an F1 car. What a fateful of a day that was.

So here we are, 20 years later on the same track in roughly the same car. I'm sitting in NSX getting to grips with hand-stitched leather Momo wheel, shifter module to my left, and my feet testing the bound and rebound of the pedals. I’m about to take this car to beyond its limits and I want to know what is where in case it snaps.

So, what does this car feature that has given it cult status? A 300hp V6 angel singing behind the seats, a top speed around 160-180mph, an almost perfect chassis, lack of weight, and last but still integral for a cult car, ugliness, but you will get used to it – and besides, you’re not looking at it when you’re in it.

This car is amazing. When I say amazing, I mean it’s a great handling, quick little thing, that is as nimble as a Lotus Elise on crack. This thing will, and I mean will beat everything you see on the daily grind. Only when you take it to a track will it be challenged. Although it has ugly looks, people still say “hey, nice Ferrari”. Little do they know this is rarer than a Ferrari. What has driven away potential customers is the fact it’s Japanese, and it’s almost as expensive as the Ferrari – equaling the price tag of a similarly performing Porsche.

I really love this car because you actually have to work and push hard to succeed. The oversteer with this car, if tamed properly, is more of a helper than a flaw. It might be very unstable and considered more of a gym session than anything else – even with it’s light steering, but when you just want to drive smooth and at a steady pace, it is already a step ahead of you. It is phenomenal to drive and you can just feel what the wheels are doing while driving it.

The NSX is a great car on all accounts. You’d want one after seeing what it can do and would probably be preparing to rob a bank before a slightly cheaper, faster, safer car caught your eye – the GTR. Your first impressions when braking the driver’s side window are probably "What an ugly monstrosity, it's eye-poppingly ugly". But all of that is about to change. As you look inside, the first thing that might catch your eye is the multi-function screen. It tells you everything, from boost, to lap times, to G, even the fastest route home.

Back on the track, this car is very easy to drive because it has all the electronics that do all the work for you. The only time this car is any handful is when the brakes go on and the back is prone to some serious wobbling. Apart from that, corners can be taken at ridiculous speeds and the acceleration is great thanks to the twin clutch gearbox. So there you are - you feel like Michael Schumacher and you feel great, but the most you do is turn and move your feet around a little. But the speed is all real.

This car is as smooth as butter sliding across a marble floor. It is as stable and controllable as the NSX isn’t, a top speed of 193 mph and a record of 7:28 around the famous Nurburgring to its name. This would just about win any and everything you throw at it, except a stone of course.

The 2 cars are worlds apart. 300hp compared to 500hp, a feather compared to a pillowcase, a bow and arrow set compared to a cannon, sliding around the Isle of Man compared to your kitchen counter. The only similarity is they're home.

After I have driven both cars, All I can say is, wow. I've driven the most exotic cars in the world, but these 2 girls are special. Buy them, just buy them. You won't regret it. The NSX to scare the crap out of your wife and the GTR to wipe the floor with your mates' 911s, Ferrraris, Corvettes, Vipers, Lambos, Zondas, Maseratis,...........you get the point.
 
Stock 2009 Corvette ZR1

(Jeremy Clarkson voice)

Okay... Traction control off... Stabilty control?... Off. And... Go!

(burns tires all the way through first and accelerates incredibly fast for a production car)

Ohh my God! This thing is so mean! It's like it's mad at me for sitting on it and it wants to rip my face off! Listen to that big V8. 638 brake horsepower! This thing is a monsterrr!

(Floor it anytime in 1st or 2nd and the rear end kicks out)

And now I'm sidewaaayys! The power is just incredible!

(Loses it in the drift and comes to a stop)

I think, I've just wet myself.



Now it's time to take it 'round our track. Which of course means handing it over to our tame racing driver.. Some say that he only knows two facts about ducks.. And they're both wrong. And that he is the reason Mona Lisa smiles.. All we know is.. He's called THE STIG!
 
Here's some insight into the wonderful Fiat Panda!

Cost: 13,000ish
Found: In Used Car section on occasion.
Colour: From my experience I've encountered 3 in Rosso Red


The Fiat Panda is a fun car to drive. Once tuned it has a fair amount of power and should be viable to finish a few race series. It's usefulness deteriorates fairly soon however it is a very fun car to have.

What I tuned: I tuned everything on the Fiat Panda, this includes adding Soft Racing Tires to it. The result was that the Panda had an immense amount of grip around corners and was where the car came to shine. Oversteer and Understeer are practically non-existent and this means you can brake really late into corners and pass a lot of people.

The Top Speed of this car is variable and I haven't been able to fully max it's speed out yet so I don't know everything. One thing to be careful of is that once you put a Fully-Customizable gearbox on it the gearing will automatically change and the top speed will be 140 km! This is quite funny to begin with but the novelty soon wears off so you can change the gearing up to 360, as stated in the gearing customization however I don't think this speed will be able to be reached.

The acceleration of this car is fairly good too. One thing to note however is that it's 0-70km is about par with many other cars yet it keeps accelerating at the same rate up to 140+ which is good. Combined with it's grip it is a very good car for small tracks and provides a great driving experience.


The end results of my car were as follows. This is FULLY-TUNED.

Bhp: 193
Weight: 669kg

I don't have any of the others as I'm not playing right now. :)


So if you like small fun cars I can guarantee that the Panda is a boxful of Joy and will make you happy when you race it, and beat vastly superior cars with it's immense handling. :)
 
I do believe this thread is in need of some visual excitement.

thetopgeartesttracked.jpg


POWWWERRRRRR!!!!
 
I also recently bought a 458 Italia and I must say it is an excellent car. After doing all the tuning it ended with 715 Bhp and 1200kg or so. The car itself is very fast in a straight line, I haven't maxed yet but I changed from 6th to 7th at 340!

It cost 400,000-500,000 in total and I must say it's better than many other racers. It's straight line speed is what makes it stand out however it's still possible to get it good in the corners. It isn't prone to spinning out but because of the increased power you need to be very light on the throttle out of cars to ensure a smooth and fast ride.

If you don't like smooth and fast Max Throttle out of corners results in some easy to control drifts. :)

Fully Tuned the 458 is an excellent car to win the 5-track championship at level 14 and definately should be in your garage. (Forgot the name)


Tip: Rosso Scuderia paint with Black Rims and Spoiler make the car look like a sweet racer.
 
Man I need to read thru all of this soon and start making my own. I remember fondly doing these for GT5P.
 
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