Help A Loser Out!

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Crispy

Crispy

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crispychicken49
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crispychicken49
Hello guys! I have a feeling this topic will get me flamed, or make me look like a little child, but I assure you I'm not trying to start a flame war, nor am I a helpless little child.

You ever remeber that one kid at your school, thats not good looking, hates sports, is weak, and is constantly made fun of by the football team? But when you actually listen to him, he can be quite enjoyable? Well that kid is me. (Well that last part it doesn't sound like me, but my friends say it is) And this school year I have taken a liking to this one girl. She's nice, funny, basically everything an actual guy goes for. Oh, and she likes Top Gear! ;)

Now, unlike about 3/4ths of the guys in my school, I wont just go out with a girl because she's hot. I have to actually like the person, something that has become extremely rare these days.

Apparently she doesn't hate me! (Wow, a person that doesn't hate me!) But she only likes me as a friend. Well, I recently got her number, (A day ago in fact.) and when I texted her to see if the number works. (A simple, "Hey, its Crispy.") She replied, "Hey! I'm sorry but I have to go, my phones about to die. I'll text you later! :)" Well, a day goes by, and no text. So I decide to send a simple "Hey." I personally don't think she's going to text back, but my friends say she will tomorrow. Granted I did text her at about 7:00PM.

So my question is, what do I do if she doesn't text back? I really feel embarrased asking this question, and even more like a loser than I already am, but I feel that most of GTPlanet is civilized and mature. I know I'll get better responses than if I asked it on Bungie.net, but I still feel like a loser. So, will you help a Loser out?
 
There's an easy solution to this: Whip out your...

...phone and call her up. Ask her what she's doing and if she wants to go on a date (catch a movie, etc.)

If you actually texted her, "Hey, it's Crispy," I wouldn't be surprised if she's deleted whatever number you sent that from. Get a new nickname. Anything is better than Crispy-- anything except Keef.

Basically, your story is everyone's story. You're not unique-- everyone has shared your plight and has gone through a similar experience at least once in their lives. Just don't be a chicken because you'll regret it. Be assertive and strike up a relationship with Ms. Top Gear. You might not even like her once you get to know her, but you gotta "do it" before you "knew it." Dig?
 
Omnis
There's an easy solution to this: Whip out your...

...phone and call her up. Ask her what she's doing and if she wants to go on a date (catch a movie, etc.)

If you actually texted her, "Hey, it's Crispy," I wouldn't be surprised if she's deleted whatever number you sent that from. Get a new nickname. Anything is better than Crispy-- anything except Keef.
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Lol, actually she was one of the people who made up the nickname Crispy. :lol: I even have it on this years yearbook.

But I will call her up, thanks.
 
How did you get the nickname?



But seriously, call her up, ask her out. If you don't feel like an actual date, make an excuse to go to the mall for something random. Say you want to go shopping for clothes and that you want a females opinion. Anything works.
 
bergauk
How did you get the nickname?
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It was because my name is pretty long and pretty Greek, so to shorten it down people just called me Chris. Then with my last name starting with a P, and well, you can infer.

Its always funny hearing my friends ask girls in my class if when they go to KFC they get extra Crispy chicken. Oh my class is so immature! :lol:
 
Maybe her phone takes a really long time to charge. Just be yourself and don't panic if she doesn't reply straight away.
 
crispychicken49
So my question is, what do I do if she doesn't text back?
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Nothing. She knows how you feel, and she's made it pretty clear that she only sees you as a friend. If you keep pushing the issue, you'll only push her away. Women don't respect it when you keep the subject going; all you will end up doing is making her quite uncomfortable to the extent that she will want nothing to do with you. And bear in mind that if this happens, she might not say it outright - she may contrive what seems like a legitimate reason for not seeing you (like the phone dying on her) so that she can let you down easily because she still values you as a friend and doesn't want to be abrupt about it and risk driving you away. I've had it happen to me; a friend of mine thought I was interested in her and kept telling me "I have assignments to do" - except that I wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship, and my way of dealing with the pressure of assignments is to take time out of my day to socialise, and since I tend to take people at face value, I figured she'd stop being busy after a while.

All you can really do now is wait. She knows who you are and how you feel. You've put your cards on the table; there is nothing more you can do. It's her move.
 
Hmmm, what would Jay do?(Jay and Silent Bob, Jay.) Um, then again, maybe not.

All us old people will say the same thing, "If she likes you then just be yourself."
But your not asking me for that advice.

This is what I think.

1. No more texting. If you want to connect, then she needs to hear your voice, not read your words. Texting is ok for people that have a simple message, but can be cold or miss interpreted. So if you cannot talk face to face, then call her.

2. Talk about her, not you. Show her your interested in her. She will ask about you if she wants to know.

3. Relax, this is not the last girl on the planet. When you get older, you will meet more people. If it is meant to be, then she will be there with you.

Good luck.
 
Good lord, children are ridiculous.

Whatever you do, don't go into anything with any expectations.

Any.

Destroy any and all presumption, expectation, and ego, and from that will also depart anxiety, disappointment, and insecurity.

That will get you much farther with people than simply being "straight up" and using the irritatingly simple and "direct" approaches which masquerade under the noble guise of "honest plainness".

It will also make you far less suspect to the other party, and you'll have much less weight on your conscious, as you won't mull and constantly groom and smooth over hypothetical situations in your head which will never arise.
 
Lol sorry couldn't resist!

I'm sure you don't read self-help books....probably ;)

Just read to me like something a motivational speaker would say....when at the end of the day, all of that could quite aptly be summerised as 'be yourself'.

Just didn't seem fair to me to call a 'child' ridiculous because of what they might be feeling, i'm sure the feelings are very raw, and very real to this young man.
 
madmike1986
Lol sorry couldn't resist!

I'm sure you don't read self-help books....probably ;)

Just read to me like something a motivational speaker would say....when at the end of the day, all of that could quite aptly be summerised as 'be yourself'.

Just didn't seem fair to me to call a 'child' ridiculous because of what they might be feeling, i'm sure the feelings are very raw, and very real to this young man.
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I'm sure they are—but children are often worthy of ridicule, nonetheless. The beauty of teenagers, though, is that they're old enough to both learn, and be self-aware.

My point was that the banality of his listless sexual appetite and social incompetence are both meaningless, and easily remedied—but not by 'being yourself', which is the most un-helpful tautology one could possibly recommend.

I'm sure he would have gone about being himself regardless of what we were to tell him. Conversely, if we told him what the popular understanding of that phrase means—don't overthink it, be direct, etc—we'd simply be telling him to behave impulsively and, dare I say, like a teenager.

I did not.

No, I told him something he could use forever, and even better—repeat ad nauseum to sound quirky and insightful.
 
I'm pretty sure repeating that pompous, patronising, egotistic and frankly depressing outlook:

'No, I told him something he could use forever, and even better—repeat ad nauseum to sound quirky and insightful.'

Would insure singleness for all eternity....unless of course, his love interest was also a monumental Douche...

And seriously?- 'children are often worthy of ridicule', I feel for any children that are involved in your life, way to go and help build confidence and self-worth.
 
madmike1986
I'm pretty sure repeating that pompous, patronising, egotistic and frankly depressing outlook:

'No, I told him something he could use forever, and even better--repeat ad nauseum to sound quirky and insightful.'

Would insure singleness for all eternity....unless of course, his love interest was also a monumental Douche...

And seriously?- 'children are often worthy of ridicule', I feel for any children that are involved in your life, way to go and help build confidence and self-worth.
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Relax, this is not helping the boy. If you don't want to help, don't post.

The only thing you could do to help is remove your posts. They add nothing. Please just go away.
 
I offered my advice earlier before my posts concerning Public'stwin....

Last time I checked it was not offensive or un-helpfull to offer opinions when asked for them, like the OP has by creating this thread.

I have said all I wanted to say, so please don't try to police my comments by saying things like 'go away', mind your own business eh?
 
The only advices I can give you:

1) Don't push it. Better keep her as a friend than to make her think of you as that "creepy stalker guy". If she's got any interest in you, she'll contact you, either way. If anything, contact her when you'd be around her anyways, like in school or whatever. But don't go specifically after her.
2) A female friend can be valuable as hell. If she spreads the word that you're a nice guy and all that, that'll help you out to get to know some other girls.
3) Lose that nickname. Seriously. Chris should do just fine...
 
Luminis
The only advices I can give you:

1) Don't push it. Better keep her as a friend than to make her think of you as that "creepy stalker guy". If she's got any interest in you, she'll contact you, either way. If anything, contact her when you'd be around her anyways, like in school or whatever. But don't go specifically after her.
2) A female friend can be valuable as hell. If she spreads the word that you're a nice guy and all that, that'll help you out to get to know some other girls.
3) Lose that nickname. Seriously. Chris should do just fine...
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i luv your signiture xD
 
One thing I forgot, though:

Don't think of yourself as a loser and don't refer to yourself as such. Not even on an internet forum. Everybody has had some trouble in their lifes and everybody had that phase where it didn't work out well with women. Don't let that get to you.

keldabest13
i luv your signiture xD
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Thanks ;)
 
Luminis
One thing I forgot, though:

Don't think of yourself as a loser and don't refer to yourself as such.
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I think this is where you need to start. It's a long road but you need to understand and believe that you are an amazing being - you are capable of pretty much anything and, being young, you have plenty of time to accomplish that 'anything', whatever it may be.

Friends and girls will come and go, but you're stuck with yourself until the bitter end. Many people neglect to spend time improving themselves in areas that they enjoy and, of course, areas that they struggle or find mundane. A keen drive to develop yourself as a man and ambition to go get what you want, through success and failure, is what you should be shooting for.

Think of it like this - You shouldn't be going through life simply existing and living off the excitement of girls to get you by. Girls should be a bonus in your life, not the whole package. Go after what you want, give yourself some goals and smash through everything standing in your way.

There are 12 months in a year, maybe try to commit to learning something new/giving up a bad habit for a month at a time. If you like something you try, keep doing it. By the time you're 20 you'll have many different skills, hobbies and a handy dose of self-discipline too.

You'll find as you really start enjoying your life, investing time in yourself and enjoying your own company and the things that you do, girls will find you in the most unlikely places. These girls will be the most genuine you'll ever meet - the kind that you may eventually want to marry and settle down with.

Don't be the kid who scrapes through school/college because it's 'cool' to be lazy/mess around in class/lecture, gets a boring job in the town where he grew up, is content with living with his parents and doesn't start to really appreciate life until he's mid-20's. You're clearly mature enough to really get ahead in life, so do it!
 
You're only a loser if you let yourself think you are one, and let others make you think you are one.

I know what I'll say maybe tough for you to do, but the next time you see her, just say hello, or how are things, no need to impress her with fancy talk. Talk to her like she is another person, not just as a girl.

And remember, don't think you are a loser.

Losers don't try, which is something that doesn't describe you when I read your post.

And if she doesn't respond, then so be it. Move on and try again.👍

Women, like life, is an endurance race, not a sprint.
 
You just have to wait. If you are still in school (it is out for me) for the summer, then just be patient. If you are still in school then just try and talk to her.

Then again maybe don't follow my advice, I've never had a girlfriend.

But I'm kind of just like you, instead of not having any muscle I'm fat.
 
^Summer is a nice time to workout and get in shape. You'd be surprised how much 1 hour of working out a day can shave off whatever you want to lose.

@Crispy: Pick up a physical activity to do in the mean time. You'd be surprised at what a little exercise can do for the body and mind.
 
Treat it like you treat this forum, ignore it for awhile. Literally ignore it. Emotionally and mentally detach. Just look at all the interst you have stirred up.
 
p-coletray
Treat it like you treat this forum, ignore it for awhile. Literally ignore it. Emotionally and mentally detach. Just look at all the interst you have stirred up.
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:lol:

You got a point there....

Maybe our collective advice has been so good he's too busy 'getting his Mac on' (My American slang is perhaps not the greatest?) with this broad?

If so.... :cheers:
 

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