How the hell do you plan a wedding?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Justdiver
  • 36 comments
  • 2,410 views

Wedding options

  • Bite the bullet, pay the bills.

    Votes: 10 45.5%

  • Nah, just elope already!

    Votes: 3 13.6%

  • Don't do it!!!

    Votes: 9 40.9%
  • Total voters
    22
Justdiver

Justdiver

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justdiver518
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justdiver
Got engaged. Now how the hell does one plan a wedding?

You want me to pay you HOW much to stand there and take pictures?

You want HOW much for a freaking cake?

You want HOW much to allow us to stand in your building for an hour while some guys says we're man and wife?
 
How the hell do you plan a wedding?

Let your future wife do it, no matter what you want, like or ask for it'll be denied or wrong.

At least that's what my married friends keep saying :lol:
 
We did a LOT of our wedding ourselves. In addition to saving a ton of money, we got to have just about everything the way we wanted it.

My wife sewed her own wedding dress, and I helped make the bridesmaids' suits. We bought yards and yards of silk in a variety of types and dyed each of the maids' outfits to a different jewel tone (ruby, emerald, sapphire, amethyst - no Pokemon jokes, this was a long time ago).

We had the reception at a restaurant with a bar and just did a ton of hors d'ouevres rather than a sit-down dinner. We saved money that way, too, and people actually had a better time because they could mingle and eat what they wanted instead of having to sit down to the usual "feather or leather".

We contacted a local college radio station and got a DJ that way, told her the kinds of music we liked, and then told her to shut up and play the music instead of trying to MC the reception.

All in all the thing to remember over everything else is that it is your day as a couple, so get what you want and DON'T let anybody tell you that you have to have or do certain things. If it sounds stupid, don't do it. Forget about all the stereotypical conventions and sacred cows and must-haves.

The other thing to remember is that everything doesn't have to be perfect. A wedding that is 85% of what you want but has 50% of the stress will be 200% more enjoyable than having it be 100% storybook perfect but full of stress and panic. And that means long-term stress, too: do NOT borrow a ton of money or waste your savings trying to have a "reality TV" wedding. You'll never do it anyway, and starting your marriage $20,000 in debt for a party is a great way to end your marital happiness very quickly.

Oh, and best wishes and stuff.
 
Absolutely agree with duke. Set a budget and stick to it, even if it means you have to cut a few corners. Save your money up and don't go into debt for it. Me and the other half managed to have a wedding and reception for £1300, including buying the suits, bridesmaid dresses (Gran was happy to do those, we wanted fairly simple ones), buying a cake from Marks & Spencer (or whatever mid-to-high-range supermarket you have in the US), a small restaurant for the meal afterwards, and a simple ceremony.

Just look at what you want, and forget anybody else suggestions, unless they improve your plans (ie where to get stuff from, venues, etc.). But most importantly, stick to your budget.
 
Don't scrimp on stuff you don't want too, you only get this day once, make it memorable. Use your initative, you probably have a mate who knows how to use a digital camera and Photoshop, so why do you need a photographer?

Have a wedding that you think really suits you as a couple.


And most importantly don't forget the honeymoon ;)
 
If you use a friend to take photos, double up.

Two friends cameras won't fail after the event and you will get two perspectives on your big day.
 
Let the wife plan it and have her father pay for it. Just tell them that you're "traditional." 👍
 
Justdiver
Got engaged. Now how the hell does one plan a wedding?

You want me to pay you HOW much to stand there and take pictures?

You want HOW much for a freaking cake?

You want HOW much to allow us to stand in your building for an hour while some guys says we're man and wife?
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My wife and I did our wedding VERY inexpensively (as far as weddings go.) We have lots of friends with lots of resources.

Friend of ours was renting a house sitting on 1/3 of an acre. HUGE backyard with an orchard. So, we had a backyard wedding.

Another friend offered to organize the cooking, and had a small team under her command.

Another friend performed the ceremony. (Internet registered minister; legal to wed folks in California!)

(The now) father-in-law owns a recording studio, so he provided the music (via amps, a mixer, and an iPod!)

Biggest expense was renting tables, chairs, and things like that. All told, we spent about $5000 USD. This was for the rentals, food, invitations, and all.

Just have to get creative with it, mate. :)

And congrats! :cheers:
 
As a photographer, I'll point out that there's WAY more to wedding photgraphy than showing up and shooting. That is about a tenth of the man's time, if even that much.

Wedding video is something I've never understood, although I've done some of those, too. The video takes even longer to make than pictures, and no one in the entire Universe will ever want to see it except the couple, and then only once or twice, just to see the mistakes and hope something's good enough to send to ABC.

Between the ceremony and the reception, and the "before" pictures that get done before everybody's hair falls and the makeup flakes off and everybody's worked up a huge sweat, you've taken up those people's time for an entire day. When they leave they start working for you, producing the product you asked for.

Me, I'd say get good pictures, forget the video. If you have to have a friend do the pictures, don't ask a friend who has a 90-dollar point-and-shoot. The last thing you want is a wedding album full of red-eye and motion blur.
 
Plan the day as something you want it to be, not what you think everyone is expecting. This is you and your future wife's special day - why would you want it to be exactly the same as everyone else's, expensive yet totally forgettable?

Cut costs by avoiding having legions of bridesmaids, ushers etc all dressed in generic morning suites/bridesmaids dresses that you'll have to hire or buy. Get friends or family to take pictures and videos, don't go OTT on flowers, that no one will even notice anyway. Don't let the list of guests get out of hand, just invite family and friends that you are close to - Why would you want to share your special day with folks you barely know?

Choose venues because you like them, not because they're cheap and can hold 200 guests. Spend your budget on the important stuff, that's the stuff you'll remember.
 
Now how the hell does one plan a wedding?

Step by step, go through the whole thing together, say what you want and what not.
I for example did not want a wedding ring, the wife insisted, I'm wearing it now. However we decided to have very simple ones. We did not have a dance, but a gathering in a bar, it was more our style, ...

You want me to pay you HOW much to stand there and take pictures?

We decided not to get any photographer, but we did make a wedding album and posed while some family members took pictures.


You want HOW much for a freaking cake?

The sister in law gave it as a present.


You want HOW much to allow us to stand in your building for an hour while some guys says we're man and wife?

Completely up to you to chose.

====================================

Be clear my wedding was at the city hall only, we were driving my Fiero that day, with a big lunch (our choices) in a castle for the close ones (coming from the UK, Belgium and France) and a drink in a bar in the evening for colleagues and friends. Most costs were in the honeymoon to Tuscany and in the end the gifts received exceeded the costs.
 
i'd just go slightly "blue-collar" with it. I don't know everything about weddings, but just make sure you're backyard is big, get your parents and close friends there, and go have dinner at a nice restaurant after the ceremony. My mom's last marriage was in our freaking living room, and it was nice. it was just me, her, my stepdad, and his daughters, and the Rabbi.
 
You just be in charge of party liquor.
 
Whats the point of getting married anyways? Live together for 3 months and you're already "married" in the governments eyes. Why spend thousands of dollars just for people to come and eat on your dime, say congrats and then go home?

I know people who are still paying off their weddings who have been divorced for over a year now, just because the bride went stupid and bought anything and everything she wanted just to start running around on her husband within the first 6 months of marriage. So the bills for the wedding have actually lasted longer than the marriage, congrats to that!

Marriage changes people, or atleast makes them think things have changed, when it really hasn't. The way I see it, if you're happy with someone, leave it at that...get eloped if you really have to, but let your cousin get drunk at someone else's wedding.
 
It does seem that in recent years marriage has lost its "sacredness" as it were. With people seemingly getting married on a whim and nearly half of them ending in divorce (don't quote me on that but it is a rediculously high proportion that fail).

Some people however, still see marriage as the ultimate sign of love and commitment. I am one of them. I've been living with Vic for almost a year now and still love her as much as when we first met. I'm definately going to marry her some day (and i'm pretty sure she feels the same way! :scared:) but we're not going to rush in to anything. It's a big step that's not going to happen for years (we'll need that long to save).

Long story short, it's going to be 🤬 awesome when I am able to refer to Vic as "my wife". :)
 
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Joey D
How the hell do you plan a wedding?

Let your future wife do it, no matter what you want, like or ask for it'll be denied or wrong.

At least that's what my married friends keep saying :lol:
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I got engaged last year and we are getting married July 2nd this year. Like you said, I just let my fiance take care of all of the decisions. She is working with her sister to do most of the planning. I just say yup ok yup ok. :sly:
 
DQuaN
It does seem that in recent years marriage has lost its "sacredness" as were. With people seemingly getting married on a whim and nearly half of them ending in divorce (don't quote me on that but it is a rediculously high proportion that fail).

Some people however, still see marriage as the ultimate sign of love and commitment. I am one of them. I've been living with Vic for almost a year now and still love her as much as when we first met. I'm definately going to marry her some day (and i'm pretty sure she feels the same way! :scared:) but we're not going to rush in to anything. It's a big step that's not going to happen for years (we'll need that long to save).

Long story short, it's going to be 🤬 awesome when I am able to refer to Vic as "my wife". :)
Click to expand...

We've been shaving fun just calling one another "fiance"! Lol. We've been kind of beating it into the ground but whatever. Its fun!
 
Been doing the same thing. Havent said gf or bf in over a year. Its fiance this fiance that. Once in a while wife this husband that.
For those that dont know heather and I have been together over 8 years. I finally decided it was time to get married. Was going to propose last Valentines day but had to push it up a couple days because my dad got hospitilized then passed away. But I was able to tell him about 1 day before he passed away.
 
haitch40
Get ready for a life free of passionate nights.
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Speak for yourself. 20+ years here and 👍 👍 👍. Never even had the slightest desire to wander.
 
Just be happy you don't have to have 2-3 wedding ceremonies/receptions in 2-3 locations/continents.
 
That's why you're getting married, let the woman do it!

But an easier answer is just pay for it, you're only going to do it once hopefully.

Or the American answer, practice because you'll need to do it again many times when you re-married :) hahahaha.
 

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