i hate this pain

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SS69

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i just wanna know one thing. why do people cheat? whats the point? why not break up first? so i had a girlfriend for a year and a half now. and i found out last night. well actually i knew about 2 weeks ago but i just didnt want to admit it. i finally got a definate answer. a year and a half! what the **** huh? why? she was the one to always say, "we're gonna be together forever right?" and i would say yes because i actually wanted it. we would always talk about our future. we had it all planned out. and i could actually see it happening. i wanted it. i know ya its only a year and a half. but we were so great together. all the way up to a couple weeks ago when i saw our cell phone plan. i saw she had been talking to someone. i asked her and she even told me it was a guy but he was just friends. i knew then. i just didnt want to admit it. but i had it all planned. out go to college. get our degrees and then i would ask her to marry her. how could i have been so stupid? we're starting college this fall. the guy she's with is 16, and will be going to 11th grade in high school. i'd like to see if he makes her as happy as i did. if he treats her as good as i did. hell being 16 you know the only thing he wants is sex. me and her were both virgins. she wanted to wait a couple more years. now a guy my age who would wait that long for sex, it has to be love. lets see how she reacts when this guy tries to undress her. but i didnt mean this thread to spill into this. i just want to know why? what makes people do that? i would never wish this pain on anyone. i know i gotta get over it. but it was a year and a half. we had gone through so much together. how can someone lie like that and not feel horrible. if i did that i couldnt live with myself. i got about an hour sleep last night. everything reminds me of her. I even remind me of her. i just dont know what else to say.
 
Dude, look on the bright side! You're going to college a free man! Just think of all the a$$ you're going to get now!

Be happy, and do a dance of joy.
 
i have nothing to do now. i gave up my friends for her. thats how much i loved her. i feel like the dumbest person ever.
 
SS69
i have nothing to do now. i gave up my friends for her. thats how much i loved her. i feel like the dumbest person ever.
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There is nothing dumb about pursuing a relationship. All it means is that next time you will go things differently. Hard luck man.
 
Why? I dont have a clue myself. Some people are just to chicken to call it off and bury themself. But I dont others? ave a clue. I personally couldnt cheat on someone, The guilt would kill me.

Never give up your friends.
 
Wait, did you break up or did she? If you're unwilling to let it slide and feel cheated because she wanted more than you could give her, you do not deserve her.
 
Tough luck, man. I guess all I can say is that there's a 99% chance that you'll meet the perfect woman in your life at college and love her until you die of old age with 10 grandkids.
 
People are just like that. It's not really against human nature to take riskes (hence, the cheating?)

But now that you say it, I'm starting to get scared of my relationship: I too abandoned.. most.. of my friends.

Look on the bright side, at least you'll go through college without distractions!
 
heero 12
Wait, did you break up or did she? If you're unwilling to let it slide and feel cheated because she wanted more than you could give her, you do not deserve her.
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Interesting perspective. Care to justify it?
 
Don't make future plans with your girlfriend when you're 16.

Don't give up all your friends for your girlfriend when you're 16 - or ever. (How/why does one do this? -- I'm baffled.)

Don't expect your girlfriend to be an island (not even a pretty island like Ibiza) by not allowing her to socialise.

Get a grip, SS69. This is classic out-of-hand-infatuatism.
 
You got dumped for a guy 3 years younger than either of you?

No wonder you're pissed.

What the hell does an 18-19 year old girl want with a 16 year old guy anyway? It's certainly not for the sex.

Anyway, next time, shag her sister first.
 
I bet it was for that riced Honda Civic he drives. :angry:
Um, theres being devoted, and theres putting all your eggs in one basket..and I'm afraid your eggs just broke.

Anyway, give us some facts and I'm sure we can work a viable plan for revenge.
"revenge is sweet"
 
im 19. not 16. and i broke up with her. and now she wont stop crying. telling me how horrible she feels. i want to be with her again but i cant forget it. about the only thing that happend was a peck on the lips and they went out a couple times. but it still doesnt feel good.
 
!?
You got all worked up over that?
Dude. Get some kind of grip; even if it's just an infatuation and doesn't lead to anything, you're ready to completely ditch a girl that kinda-sorta 'cheated' a little freaking bit in eighteen months. When you're young, it's almost impossible to stay totally devoted to one person for that long. I'd say to just let it go, if she means as much to you as you let on, and if she's never done anything like that before.

She does it again, hit the sister.
Famine knows what he's talking about.
 
SS69
im 19. not 16. and i broke up with her. and now she wont stop crying. telling me how horrible she feels. i want to be with her again but i cant forget it. about the only thing that happend was a peck on the lips and they went out a couple times. but it still doesnt feel good.
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Dude, shut the **** up and forgive her right now. Getting that jealous and dumping her like that means you don't really deserve her. But take her back while you have the chance. Or maybe this incident means you never really loved her?
 
what the hell dude? she messed around with another guy. regardless of how little she did thats still a big no-no. and the worst part. is she continued to lie about it. i knew but i was hoping i was just paranoid. and she knew i knew. but she continued to lie. and the last month or so i could tell. she just stopped caring about me. and now when she doesnt have me she comes back crying and says she wont do it again. how can i believe her. how can i know she's telling the truth. besides. she says it was just a peck. she says she just went out with him a couple of times. she says. well shes a liar in my book. so how can i believe anything she says. but for some reason im willing to work with her. willing to see if she can proove her love. proove to me if she really cares as much as she says. i gave her all my time i could. i treated her as good as i could. so theres no way it was me. but like i said. i havent forgiven her. but im trying to work on it. but still she lied. if she found someone else then she should have told me before she screwed up. and if she decided to come back then i might take her back easier. but right now all i know is she's a liar and i cant trust her. but im willing to give her a chance to redeem herself. what other guy would do that? my family thinks im stupid. the couple of friends i still have think im stupid. but for some reason i can still see a good person in her.
 
and what makes it worse is she didnt mess around with a guy that could possibly be better than me. but some little don juan 16 year old 11th grader. who probably just fed her a line of bull**** to get her pants off.
 
why should i apologize? she should be kissing MY ass. not me kissing hers. and im not gonna kick his ass. he didnt even know about me.
 
does he know about you now? if he doesn't, make sure he knows she was cheating on you and betraying his trust at the same time
 
SS69, your first post was obviously mis-leading. So she kind of cheated on you, and you flip out and dump her on the spot? I mean come on. My best friend's girlfriend of about six months got a little close with a guy while my friend was away. The guilt got to her and she confessed. He obviously wasn't happy about it, but the relationship meant enough to him that he didn't just throw it all away right then.

She comes back apologizing and crying and you still don't give her a chance? The fact that you are willing to work with her means absolutly nothing if you refuse to. Suck it up, forgive, try to forget. Her guilt is punishment enough, and you shouldn't feel the need for more. You said it yourself, "if i did that i couldnt live with myself..." Just imagine how she must feel now. If your relationship with her means anything to you, you will forgive her and take her back. Make sure she knows how this made you feel (make sure you have a cool head when you tell her), and if she's as good as you say, she won't make the same mistake again. Just give her another chance, and don't be such a jerk about it. Also take emad's advice and make sure the guy knows, whether she tells him or you do. I hope everything works out.


OA
 
i know. im trying to get to the point where i can forgive her. but i cant 2 days after the fact. its gonna take time. but it does mean enough. i just wanna see if she can keep it up. i already told her im willing to work with her. but still what she did was cheating. she calls me all the time apologizing and saying she wants me. saying she wants a future. i do too. but i cant really think about it now. but the fact that i let her come to my house and i talk to her for 2 hours. and im still even talking to her at all says im willing to forgive. i just want to see how honest she is. he's out of town right now. i wanna see how she acts when he comes back.
 
Is there another girl you have to go too? Since you probably don't you better take that girl back, shes frickin cryin over you.
 
she's been cheating on you and lying to you for over a year. Does she actually expect you to trust her now...AFTER all this? I *really* wouldn't take her back with open arms - no matter how much it hurts to do so...
 
SS69 you have a variety of choices open to you.
1. Read the Book of Haggai (in the Bible) then proceed.
2. Write her off even though you love her, and you can both be miserable.
3. Take her back, she'll be going out of her way to regain your trust.
4. Write her off and be glad this didn't happen after you were in a marriage.

Hearts do heal from this kind of thing.
I personally believe that you might get quite a lot out of the story of Haggai.👍
 
My only dating advice is to not let anything get serious until everyone is mature and settled into a routine. People change too much - especially in high school and ESPECIALLY making the transition to college. College changes people a lot. Careers change people a lot. Wait until everything has settled down and is headed in an established direction before you let your emotions go hog-wild.
 

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