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Hello there guys, how are you doing?
Sorry if this thread is kind of silly, but I really need to get this right:
I'm doing a short film, or something like that, and, for those of you who doesn't know me, english isn't my primary language, and sometimes it gets a little messy, so...
I have this short text that I wrote, and I want you to tell me if you see any gramatical error.
Again, sorry for bothering you but I already recorded it and put in place with the video I filmed.
I'm particulary afraid with two lines, "and the way of feel, like nothing in the world" and "Feeling alive, waking me up in the middle of the night on purpose..."
The complete text is the next one:
This is the present and my days to come.
This is goodbye to a piece of me that was nothing but dreamless.
I am dreaming now and I can change the rules,
the sky flashes and the future becomes something else.
The lights are nothing but hope and colour.
I want ALL the flickering rest of dusty dreams, the emotions,
and the way of feel, like nothing in the world.
This is what I am and what I see. No one can take that away from me.
Feeling alive, waking me up in the middle of the night on purpose...
Knowing every detail, seeing everyone resting, everyone in silence, and everything in control.
Every single drop of water is like... tears, of a piano, deep down on a street.
And that's amazing and beautiful. It's like a camera in your head,
showing images to your brain and mouth,
expressing things that words can't describe.
This is me in the clouds, trying to understand.
Then the orange came out of the blue,
my head exploded, and shrank totally with that.
This, are relentless memories from my mind.
And this is a space between my eyes.
And this is the night again,
to dream again, to feel again, expecting to do something extraordinary.
Go out and cry and shout and speak, but do it now.
You really, need to do it now.
I hope you answer me.
Thanks in advance.
Sorry if this thread is kind of silly, but I really need to get this right:
I'm doing a short film, or something like that, and, for those of you who doesn't know me, english isn't my primary language, and sometimes it gets a little messy, so...
I have this short text that I wrote, and I want you to tell me if you see any gramatical error.
Again, sorry for bothering you but I already recorded it and put in place with the video I filmed.
I'm particulary afraid with two lines, "and the way of feel, like nothing in the world" and "Feeling alive, waking me up in the middle of the night on purpose..."
The complete text is the next one:
This is the present and my days to come.
This is goodbye to a piece of me that was nothing but dreamless.
I am dreaming now and I can change the rules,
the sky flashes and the future becomes something else.
The lights are nothing but hope and colour.
I want ALL the flickering rest of dusty dreams, the emotions,
and the way of feel, like nothing in the world.
This is what I am and what I see. No one can take that away from me.
Feeling alive, waking me up in the middle of the night on purpose...
Knowing every detail, seeing everyone resting, everyone in silence, and everything in control.
Every single drop of water is like... tears, of a piano, deep down on a street.
And that's amazing and beautiful. It's like a camera in your head,
showing images to your brain and mouth,
expressing things that words can't describe.
This is me in the clouds, trying to understand.
Then the orange came out of the blue,
my head exploded, and shrank totally with that.
This, are relentless memories from my mind.
And this is a space between my eyes.
And this is the night again,
to dream again, to feel again, expecting to do something extraordinary.
Go out and cry and shout and speak, but do it now.
You really, need to do it now.
I hope you answer me.
Thanks in advance.
