- 3,823
For some reason I almost hope that he wins, with one stipulation. After the case is over, he is never allowed to change his name back, and if he is ever heard to be called anything but Jackass for the rest of his natural born life he must give back all 9 million plus interest.
Having to go through life being called Jack Ass should be worth 9 million. Just think about what he is giving up.
1. Can never order Pizza or other takeout because they will think he's pranking them.
2. Very difficult to make airplane reservations without being hung up on.
3. Snickered at in banks by the tellers.
4. People would go out of their way to announce his name over PA systems. "Excuse me, but would Jack Ass please come to the courtesy desk as Jack Ass Jr. is lost"
5. Most internet services would not allow him to use his own name as a username.
6. His friends would dump him, not wanting to associate with a Jack Ass.
7. What woman would ever marry him and take on the last name "Ass?"
8. Years and Years of Prank calls. "Hey Jack Ass, How's it going Jack Ass? I was just talking to my friends, and was saying that I had to give ole' Jack Ass a call. Well, Jack Ass, I'll talk to you later Jack Ass."
9. People Yelling Hee-Hawwwwww on the street.
10. His 9 million (which would be more like 5 after taxes) would be whittled away by angry parents of quadriplegics suing him over stunts they imitated on the TV show, but didn't realize the difference. Even if it doesn't go to court, lawyer costs would bankrupt him in less than 5 years.
