- 3,001
I found this on a website. It is a joke about Bill Gates comparing cars to computer technology advancements.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "You would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles with a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day;
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car;
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on;
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine;
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT" but then you would have to buy more seats;
6. Macintosh would make a care that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run of 5% of the roads;
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light;
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt;
9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off;
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna;
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them or want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department;
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car;
13. You would press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
The Website -
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives/Gates_Car.htm
The Bill Gates Car
At a recent COMDEX computer show, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "You would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles with a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day;
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car;
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on;
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine;
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT" but then you would have to buy more seats;
6. Macintosh would make a care that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run of 5% of the roads;
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light;
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt;
9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off;
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna;
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them or want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department;
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car;
13. You would press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
The Website -
http://www.joe-ks.com/archives/Gates_Car.htm
