- 3,692
An 18 year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed
her period for two months. Very worried, the mother
goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The
test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was
the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The
girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an
hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a
mature and distinguished man with gray hair and
impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out
of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the
living room with the father, the mother and the girl
and tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the
problem. However, I can't marry her because of my
personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will
pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the
rest of her life. Additionally, If a girl is born I
will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a
beachfront villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a
boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories
and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a
factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a
miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells
him,
" You'll sleep with here again!" ...........
******
* A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" Yep,"
the
wife replied, "in-laws."
* A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to
be
because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned
to
his wife and asked, "What?"
* A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to
explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God
made me
stupid so I would be attracted to you!
* Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby
was
losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring
out
the animal in me." "So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a
mouse?"
Guess who wins every time!!!! - as if the answer ain't obvious enough!!
her period for two months. Very worried, the mother
goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The
test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was
the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The
girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an
hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a
mature and distinguished man with gray hair and
impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out
of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the
living room with the father, the mother and the girl
and tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the
problem. However, I can't marry her because of my
personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will
pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the
rest of her life. Additionally, If a girl is born I
will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a
beachfront villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a
boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories
and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a
factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a
miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells
him,
" You'll sleep with here again!" ...........
******
* A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" Yep,"
the
wife replied, "in-laws."
* A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to
be
because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned
to
his wife and asked, "What?"
* A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and
so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to
explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God
made me
stupid so I would be attracted to you!
* Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby
was
losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring
out
the animal in me." "So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a
mouse?"
Guess who wins every time!!!! - as if the answer ain't obvious enough!!
i like the first one
