Ledheds words of wisdom

  • Thread starter Thread starter ledhed
  • 6 comments
  • 359 views

ledhed

Ultraextreme sanity
Premium
Messages
3,425
1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity

2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

3. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

4. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.

6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

11. If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.

12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

14.Gravity Law: You can't fall off the floor.

15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little-to- no influence on society.

17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

19. Beer is good More beer is better.

20. Dont drink and then drive..you probably stole someones car and it will take you to the wrong house.
_________________
" Life is way too short DANCE NAKED "
 
Saw these on shirts at the store

"Never Drink and Drive......You might spill it on the Dashboard"

"5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions"

"Experience is something you get, just after you need it"

"If everything seems to be coming your way, your in the wrong lane"

"Warning: Consumption of Alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish"

"FOR SALE: Parashute; used only once, never opened, small stain"

"All those who believe in psychic powers raise my hand"

:lol:...

[EDIT]"He who laughs last was slow to get the joke"
 
"God made weed, and man made beer. Who do you trust?"

That one is hilarious.. I seen it at a store in the mall.
 
Back