Lifes Questions

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SeismicGravy
What is the speed of dark?

When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack
it in?

Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and
a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before
getting out of the water?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with
sushi?

What's another word for synonym?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to
kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their
picket signs?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book
publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when
you can't drink and drive?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking
is prohibited there?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why is it that when you transport something by car,
its called a shipment, but when you transport something
by ship, its called cargo?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Where are Preparations A through G?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed
to throw the top one away?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does
he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at
carpeting?

What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green
or a lemon called a yellow?

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil
come from?
 
Life's answers:

What is the speed of dark?

Darness is the absence of light. Therefor it is logical to assume that the "speed of dark" is equal to that of the speed of light.

When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack
it in?


More styrofoam...

Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

For the blind driving people (6th sense type of thing going on there)

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and
a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?


A bra is like a shirt, it only takes one to cover two halves...

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Well no, because in most gifts someone had to pay for it somewhere along the line.

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before
getting out of the water?


nah, they live there, that would be like saying you can't leave your house until 1 hour after you've finished eating your Meal-on-the-go bar.

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with
sushi?

Naturally...

What's another word for synonym?

In other words...

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to
kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


I think the correct term is "internal hostage situation"

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their
picket signs?


Messages that go along with the strike, of course.

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

New York

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

There is (it just costs an arm and a leg)...

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book
publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?


13 is usually considdered an "unlucky number" whereas 11 is just another number...

How can there be self-help groups?

Groups of people trying to help themselves...

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when
you can't drink and drive?


So that they know you're old enough to drink

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking
is prohibited there?


The cigarette companies pay alot of money to sell those there...

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Cows can't laugh...

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

The people who named them weren't thinking logically...

Why is it that when you transport something by car,
its called a shipment, but when you transport something
by ship, its called cargo?


because cars can be transported on boats, but the opposite is not necissarily true...

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

We don't "play" at recitals, we dance or sing...

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Because we're stupid English people...

Where are Preparations A through G?

H, being the 8th letter in the alphabet, ate praparations A-G...

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

Dogs already have heightened hearing, if they go blind and their senses become inhanced automatically, then they will be able to determine the positions of things through hearing just as if they weren't blind...

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

|_| <---like that

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed
to throw the top one away?


no, it's not a medicine...

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does
he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at
carpeting?


Birds aren't that smart...

What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

7Up was named 7Up because of the coloring they used (#7) and the arrow on the bottle that pointed up...

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green
or a lemon called a yellow?


The Spanish were the first to discover oranges, they aren't too bright...

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

allergies...

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil
come from?


various plant extracts, oils, greases...
 
:lol: Great Stuff...going on my in-line for MSN name list! :)
 
My god, I was just trying to create some answers (all in good fun). And you have to go calling me names and crap? I got bored! I'm the type of guy who doesn't like leaving questions unanswered. I just thought I'd share my thoughts with everyone (who knows, maybe I could have gotten a few laughs...). Stop being so freakin' critical!
 
Originally posted by Jpec07
My god, I was just trying to create some answers (all in good fun). And you have to go calling me names and crap? I got bored! I'm the type of guy who doesn't like leaving questions unanswered. I just thought I'd share my thoughts with everyone (who knows, maybe I could have gotten a few laughs...). Stop being so freakin' critical!


:lol:
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book
publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

13 is usually considdered an "unlucky number" whereas 11 is just another number...

Actually dude, Chapter 11 is when someone files for bankruptcy.
 
I think I heard most of them before,but there still great:lol: heres a couple more


"why when your late for work and your boss asks what happen, your reply might be that your alarm clock didd go off. Wouldn't it be that your alarm diden't go on"

"why is it that when 2 planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss, wouldn't a near miss be a hit"

and the classic "why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 and the buns come in packs of 8"
 
Originally posted by qjasonp
I think I heard most of them before,but there still great:lol: heres a couple more


"why when your late for work and your boss asks what happen, your reply might be that your alarm clock didd go off. Wouldn't it be that your alarm diden't go on"

"why is it that when 2 planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss, wouldn't a near miss be a hit"

and the classic "why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 and the buns come in packs of 8"


Seriously, this pisses me off! I really like hot dogs and when I don't have any buns I start to get a little :grumpy:
 
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