- 13,719
- Indiana
- ViperManiac
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you
were dead.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next
day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than
to let her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in
Canada.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out
with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive
to the opposite sex.
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you
were dead.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next
day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than
to let her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in
Canada.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out
with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive
to the opposite sex.
I posted it cuz I thought someone might think it was funny.
