Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
offered by an English professor:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment
with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each
person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate
right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and
send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph
and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also
sending another copy to me.
"The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time
in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely
NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must
be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students,
Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at
home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and
if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up
again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things
to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo
named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed
out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay.
The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across
the c0ckpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before
he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers
of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War
and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming
of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree,
with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her
sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why
must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target
for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the
human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian
ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam,
felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,
stupid Laurie.
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious
neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
"Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort
of F_KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed
bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
(Rebecca)
a$$hole.
(Gary)
Bitch
(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER)
A+ - I really liked this one.
Good one.
