My attempt at a story - Rising Star (Chapter 4/???)

Discussion in 'GT4 Race Reports' started by Andy GT, Oct 7, 2009.

  1. Andy GT

    Andy GT

    United States
    Sorry for the story having no pics for now, It's because my PS2 doesn't recognize my pendrive, and thus I can't copy the pics to it.

    Anyways, Here I go.

    NOTE>>> This story is my VERY FIRST attempt, so give constructive criticism!!!

    Rising Star

    Intro - "Andy"

    Editor's note: The "Andy", who is the main character of this story, is absolutely fictional and has nothing to do with me.

    Hello. I'm a street racer, or whatever you like to call who races wherever and whenever he cans. My name? Well, I like to keep my real name in secret, but everyone calls me "Andy". Recently I just bought my first car - a Ford Focus RS - and have been racing in many street tracks around my hometown - Seattle, in the state of Washington, northwestern USA - . People in my class have been commenting about how "darn good" I am. And at such a young age - 19, for your info - , things like that seem unbelievable.

    *Present Day*

    I decided to take my Focus for a drive around town, then I saw something blocking the road. It was a car, a silver car, more precisely a 1997 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 Coupe. I was forced to stop, as it was blocking the road ahead. A déjà vu feeling hit me, "I'm sure I've seen that Camaro before. Is the driver who I think he is?"

    The driver got out of the car. He approached my car and said:

    "So we meet again, Andy..."
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2010
  2. Irons

    Irons (Banned)

    United States
    Good, good. This is gonna develop into a great story I just know it!
  3. Pitracer100


    So true! Don't forget to Read TRUE BLOOD RACER:tup:!!!
  4. Andy GT

    Andy GT

    United States
    Chapter 1 - Mike and his "fellas"

    "So we meet again, Andy... I got good news for you."

    Now I was sure. It was for sure Michael Graham, or Mike for short, the leader of the most respected racing team in Seattle and one of my greatest rivals.

    Mike - "I and my team will be racing tomorrow, and we need one more guy to fill up the field. I think you would fit perfectly. Whaddaya say?"
    Andy - "I accept."
    Mike - "Great! Meet me tomorrow, at this same place, at this same time."
    Andy - "Perfect."
    Mike - "I know you'll come, Andy."
    Andy - "And I will, Mike."
    Mike - "See ya tomorrow!" Then Mike got in his Camaro and left.

    Mike is one of the most skilled drivers in the entire town, those who get to race against him feel honoured. It is very hard to beat him at his home course, and very few pulled it off. Unfortunately, I am not among these hallowed few... Well, not YET!

    *the next day*

    I arrived at the race spot, te same place where Mike and I met yesterday. He was there, with a few other racers, waiting for me.

    Mike - "The missing racer has just arrived, and right in time! Now we can get this race started. Shall we?"

    The grid was:

    1st: Chevrolet Camaro Z28 Coupe
    2nd: Ford Taurus SHO
    3rd: Infiniti G35 Sedan
    4th: Lexus IS 200
    5th: Dodge SRT4
    6th: Ford Focus RS

    So, the race was about to start. My ultimate goal was to win this race, although if I do not, I'll try to finish ahead of Mike. The green flag is out, so let's go!

    Mike - "We've put the SRT4 strategically in 5th place, so the boy stays in last."
    Andy - "I'l just follow the SRT4 for now."

    Lexus Driver - "I can't block the SRT4. Our lines will cross and we'll crash!!"
    SRT4 driver - "See ya later"

    Andy - "Bye bye, sucker!"
    Lexus Driver - "Oh, :censored:! I didn't see him coming!"

    Andy - "Next up, the G35"

    G35 Driver - "This yellow car is going down!"
    (sound of metal hitting hard)
    Andy - "Owww, my ears!"
    SRT4 Driver - "Gaaah!"

    Andy - "This is foul play!"
    SRT4 driver - "Come back here, cheater!"
    G35 Driver - "*chuckles*"

    G35 Driver - "That trick again? I'll just block him."
    SRT4 Driver - "Gotcha."

    G35 Driver - "He didn't go for it?"
    Andy - "He didn't go for it?"
    SRT4 Driver - "Just a little more..."

    SRT4 Driver - "NOW!"
    G35 Driver - "Naaah! I ran too wide!"

    Andy - "(looks at side) See you later!"

    Andy - "Lap 2. I have only 2 more cras ahead of me."

    Mike - "Hmmm... that Taurus is doing a great job after all."

    Taurus Driver - "(hears bad sound from engine)NOOOO, NOT NOW!!! (pulls over)"
    Mike - "Oops, spoke too soon."

    SRT4 Driver - "Ha! the Taurus couldn't stand the pressure!"
    Andy - "Aww, come on! He had to give up now?"

    SRT4 Driver - "Come on, Choose your side: Inside or Outside?"

    SRT4 Driver - "Outside?"
    Andy - "Surprise!"

    SRT4 Driver - "You're much better than Mike told me!"
    Andy - "And you don't know how to use your car!"

    Mike - "If I just keep a steady lead, I'll win. And speaking of defending my lead, is that SRT4 still behind me--"
    Mike - "(looks at rear view mirror) Holy crap!"

    Mike - "I was sure he was at the back of the pack, how'd he catch up to me?"
    Andy - "*chuckles*"

    Mike - "Old same tricks don't work with me, Andy, and you know it!"
    Andy - "Thinking of an old trick, Mike? Think again!"

    Mike - "What? Where is he?"

    Mike - "If he isn't behid me, he is--(looks at side)"

    Andy - "Time to pull away!"
    Mike - "I ain't giving up without a fight!"

    Mike - "Gotcha!"
    Andy - "Grrrrr..."

    Mike - "C'mon, turn! Dammit!"
    Andy - "Hah! He ran too wide! I have him now!!!"

    (a staredown between the two)

    Andy - "The finish line!!!"
    Mike - "The finish line!!!"

    Mike - "...No good......."

    Andy - "I...won..."
    Mike - "I...lost..."

    I couldn't believe it. I have beaten Michael Graham. I was so delighted!

    Mike - "I have underestimated you, Andy. You're one hell of a driver. Congratulations on the win."
    Andy - "Thanks."
    Mike - There's a special prize for the winner, along with the nice prize money."
    Andy - "What is it?"
    Mike - "The winner takes the car of who finished second."
    Andy - "(speechless).............."
    Mike - "Yes, you hear it. You won the race, and since I finished second, you take my car. Here's the pink slip. (hands over the pinkslip of the Camaro to Andy)"
    Andy - Thanks, Mike!"

    Wade, my best riend, had sneaken into the course to watch the race

    Wade - "Hey! ANDY!"
    Andy - "(turns around) Wade?"
    Wade - "Yes, it's me! Awesome win! Congratulations!"
    Andy - "Thanks!"
    Wade - About the Camaro... you going to sell it?
    Andy - "Maybe, but I might keep it, I always wanted to have a Camaro."
    Wade - "Have to go now, see ya!"
    Andy - "See you later, Wade! (in mind) now here's a hard decision: sell or keep the Camaro?"
  5. Andy GT

    Andy GT

    United States
    Sorry for the double post! I just want to say that Chapter 2 is now being put in. Chapter 3 might be out tomorrow, or maybe later today. This is to prevent everyone from spamming my story with "MOAR!" every time.

    Chapter 2 - Cheater

    Andy - "(in mind) now here's a hard decision: sell or keep the Camaro?"

    Meanwhile, the driver of the SRT4 wants to have a word with today's cheater.

    SRT4 Driver - "You're such a prank! All of a sudden you just ram me? You don't even deserve that G35!!"
    G35 Mechanic - "Richard, you've been playing dirty again? (oil spills in his face) Ghhrruggg!!"
    G35 Driver - "N-No, i-i-its not that!! (turns at the SRT4 driver) Whoa.......hey....w-wait up.............I-I-I can explain................."
    SRT4 Driver - "Explain to my fist, moron! (punches him in the face)"
    G35 Driver - "OWWWWWWW!!!! The hell!!!!"
    SRT4 Driver - "Learn to play clean, cheater! (turns at me) Hey, nice driving back there. I'm Jason Engram. You are Andy, I suppose."
    Andy - "Yes, I am. Nice to meet you, Jason."
    Jason - "I hope to be racing with you again." Jason then left, the same I was about to do, when Mike called my attention.

    Mike - "Andy, wait!"
    Andy - "What?"
    Mike - "I forgot to tell you something."
    Andy - "What is it?"
    Mike - "Welcome to the team, kid. You deserved it."
    Andy - "Thanks, but you're gonna need a car if you want to race!"
    Mike - "Nah, I'm getting too old for this kind of thing. I'm 36 years old, my body just cannot stand racing anymore!"
    Andy - "All right, then."
    Mike turned at the G35 driver, or "Richard": "Richard! RICHARD, GET UP YOU SLOWPOKE!"
    Richard - "Yes, boss?"
    Mike - "I don't want to see your ugly-:censored: face AND that damn import again! LEAVE MY SIGHT NOW, :censored:!"

    Richard reamined silent, and then left. The Taurus driver approached us.

    Taurus driver - "Hey boss!"
    Mike - "Blake, we'll find a way to fix your Taurus, don't worry."
    Blake? - "Thanks boss! (turns at me) Welcome to the team, Andy! I'm Blake Davidson."
    Lexus Driver - "My name is Nick Bryant. I'm glad you're on our team."
    Mike - "HEY YOU!"
    Jason - "ME?"
    Mike - "YES, YOU!"
    Jason turns aroud his SRT4 and drives back.
    Mike - "There's a free spot on the team You in?"
    Jason - "The answer is very obvious, isn't it?"
    Mike - "I'll take this as a "Yes" then."

    So, I've met my new teammates, and Jason joined the team too. I have seen that they aim to be the best mot only in the US, but in the whole world.

    Back at home, I was still thinking about what to do with the Camaro I just won.

    Dad - "Andy, good to see you back, son. How was your race today?"
    Andy - "I won, and that was my prize." I pointed at the Camaro.
    Dad - "One hell of a prize there."
    Andy - "I'm still wondering what to do with it, if I sell it or keep it for a later need."
    Dad - "I say keep it. You never know when your Focus might be no match for the rest of the field, and you'll need to use this silver baby. Also, wasn't it a dream of yours to own a Camaro?
    Andy - "Yeah. Also, do you know who I beat to get this Camaro?"
    Dad - "Who?"
    Andy - "Mike."
    Dad - "Mike??? You mean Michael Graham???"
    Andy - "Himself. And I have joined his team, and they aim to be the best in the world, and that means going to other countries, I don't know."
    Dad - "Go for it. Whatever you do, you'll end up back in the US again, probably."
    Andy - "Films aren't like real life, dad!" We both laughed for about a minute.
    Andy - "Oh, dear! It's getting late!"
    Dad - "We had quite a long talk here. Goodnight, Andy"
    Andy - "Goodnight, dad.

    Before I went sleep, I received a call.

    Andy - "Hello?"
    Mike - "It's Mike. Can we meet tomorrow morning at the track we raced today? We need to talk. I'll be waiting at the chicane.
    Andy - "OK, Mike. See you tomorrow, I'm quite tired now."
    Mike - "See ya." I hanged up.

    *The next day*

    There was Mike and the rest of the team.

    Mike - "I'm glad you came. We'll go to the airport form here. Our first stop will be at Italy, in the beautiful coast of the Mediterranean Sea, in the Capri Island."

    We went to the airport to take the flight to Italy, from there we would take a boat to Capri. When we got there, surprise!

    ? - "You're racers?"
    Mike - "Yes, we are."
    ? - "We challenge you to a race."
    Mike - "We accept."
    ? - "Great! There are some races still to finish. Once they do, ours will start."
    Mike - "Perfect."
  6. Pitracer100


    Developing into a nice story.:tup:
    PS: Make sure your racer isn't invincible.
  7. Irons

    Irons (Banned)

    United States
    Great Story, really good. I could actually picture the race going on in my mind, they were driving on Laguna Seca.

    If you want my opinion, keep the Camaro.

    Also, does Mike have another car?

    Don't spam other people's stories with your own. That's just disrespectful
  8. DK

    DK Premium

    You really need some pictures.
  9. NP

    NP Premium

    Nice story, but there one thing I don't understand: Why does a driver chuckle when someone else asks himself something? I mean they don't hear each other... :indiff: Nonetheless, it's good to see another story making its way...
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2010
  10. Pitracer100


    Yeah, I am starting to lose my imagination of the pictures.:dunce:
  11. Andy GT

    Andy GT

    United States
    Chapter 3 - First Blood Part I

    ? - "Great! There are some races still to finish. Once they do, ours will start."
    Mike - "Perfect."
    Blake - "So, we got someone to race with! I can barely wait!!"
    Nick - "Stay calm, Blake, you'll be racing real soon."
    Andy - "Hey, look!"

    A 2003 Shelby Series 1 zooms past the line.

    Jason - "Man, that car is fast!"
    Blake - "Whoever the driver is, I'd love to race him!"
    Andy - "I have a feeling that you will, Blake. You just wait."

    ? - "We can start now. Who will be the first to race?"
    Mike - "He will." (points at Jason)
    ? - "My partner here will be racing first."
    ?? - "I'm Kudin Larsson."
    Jason - "Nice to meet you, Larsson. I'm Jason Engram."
    Larsson - "Which postion do you choose: Leading or Chasing?"
    Mike - "Chasing. He'll be at your back."
    Larsson - "If everything's ready, let's begin!"

    Larsson's car was a dark blue Volvo S60 T5 Sport. Why did he choose Jason? Because his SRT4 has better odds of winning than the Focus or the Camaro. If I was racing, I'd probably be out-paced.

    it looks like it's all ready for the race. It's go!

    Larsson - "Let's see what you're made of."
    Jason - "An S60? Not a bad car. Let's see what he can do."

    Jason - "!! What?? Tight hairpins already??(slams the brakes)"

    Larsson - "(looks at rear view mirror) Guess what? He messed up at his first high-speed approach to the hairpins, but that's common.

    Jason - "OK, let's keep up with him and look closely at his braking points."
    Larsson - "He can keep a fixed distance between us. He clearly don't want to commit the same mistake again."

    Jason - "Let's see what the SRT4 does on long uphills, as the Seattle streets offer jumps rather than uphills."

    Jason - "OK, let's see how that S60 will be able to defend aginst me on my specialty: Blind corners!"

    Larsson - "He reduced the gap amazingly fast on these blind turns?? How??"
    Jason - "OK, I'm right on his tail, but passing is a whole other thing."

    Jason - "Another sweeper? Nah, I can't be illuded. This sweeper mght tighten a bit forward."

    Jason - "Expected as hell."

    Larsson - "Damn, I completely forgot that this is a tightening sweeper!"
    Jason - "Gotcha."

    Jason - "Goodbye, loser!"
    Larsson - "This ain't over yet!"

    Jason - "Great, now I just hae to maintain my posit--"

    Jason - "Where is he?? He disappeared from my rear view mirror!!"

    Larsson - "You're mine."
    Jason - "Ahh, :censored:! (slaps head) Come on, don't lose your head, Jason! Stay focused! We can overtake this guy!"

    Jason - "But how? I know he won't commit the same mistake again."

    Jason - "The hairpins again."

    Larson - "Dammit! Wheelspin!"
    Jason - "Hah! Wheelspin!"

    Jason - "You hit the gas too early!"
    Larsson - "OK, I can't use the same strategy to overtake him, because as soon as I do it he'll dive into the inside."

    Larsson - "The blind corners again."
    Jason - "Now you won't have a chance. You can't outpace me on blind corners."

    Jason - "I ran too wide!"
    Larsson - "Thank you very much. You saved me a lot of work."

    Jason - "How will I overtake him now?"

    Larsson - "Make a move! Last turn!"
    Jason - "NOW!"

    Larsson - "Come on, turn you stupid car! (looks at side) Not good.........."
    Jason - "See ya!"

    Jason - "WIN! YES YES YES!!!!!!"
    Larsson - "I lost... Congrats, Jason. (claps his hands)"

    *post race*

    Andy - "You did great, Jason! Excellent win!"
    Jason - "Thanks, Andy"
    Mike - "You did well, Jason."
    Jason - "Thanks, Mike."

    ? - "You lost?"
    Larsson - "Yes."
    ? - "More than expected."
    Larsson - "--"
    ? - "Don't say a word, Larsson. It's my turn now."

    ? - "Next up?"
    Mike - "Andy?"

    I nodded my head.

    Mike "Andy is next. (turns at me) Good luck, boy."
    ? - "I'm Jacques de Comien. Nice to meet you, Andy."

    The race is about to begin. It will be on the clockwise direction, as the last one was on the anticlockwise direction. It will be my first race outside of the US. And we're GO!
  12. Irons

    Irons (Banned)

    United States
  13. Andy GT

    Andy GT

    United States
    The race is about to begin. It will be on the clockwise direction, as the last one was on the anticlockwise direction. It will be my first race outside of the US. And we're GO!

    Chapter 3 1/2: A Stepping Stone Part 1

    Andy: That car... It seems FWD, just like my Focus. This should be fun...
    JDC: Let's see what this kid is made of.

    Andy: For now, let's just follow this guy's racing line and learn the course.
    JDC: He can keep a fixed distance between us. Let's see how long can he keep up.

    Andy: Time for the first move.
    JDC: What's he planning to do? I must stay alert.

    JDC: Crap! Too wide!

    Andy: Thanks for the gap.
    JDC: You haven't seen half of what I can do, monseiur Andy!

    Andy: Now let's just keep a good Racing Line and--

    Andy: What? Where's the road?

    Andy: AAAAAGH!!! *slams the brakes*
    JDC: You messed up on the jump.

    JDC: Goodbye.
    Andy: How will I overtake him now?

    To be continued...
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2010
  14. Andy GT

    Andy GT

    United States
    Chapter 4: A Stepping Stone Part 2

    Andy: AAAAAGH!!! *slams the brakes*
    JDC: You messed up on the jump.

    JDC: Goodbye.
    Andy: How will I overtake him now?

    JDC: Lap 2!
    Andy: No time for being histeric, I have to find a way to nail this guy.

    JDC: Damn! I ran a little wide here...
    Andy: That gave me an idea.

    Andy: Let's make this guy swerve.

    JDC: Well, you caught up, but passing is a whole other thing!

    JDC: *Swerves over and over* You're starting to make me angry with this!

    Andy: NOW!!! *floors the gas*
    JDC: No good! I left a too big gap!

    Andy: Now stay behind.
    JDC: A race isn't over until the checkered flag is waved.

    Andy: How can he out-pace me in this downhill? We're both using FWD's!
    JDC: Renault, I owe you one!

    Andy: Time to pull off something huge.

    *tires screeching*

    JDC: HOLY :censored:!!!

    Andy: Time to pull away!
    JDC: sacre-bleu! He quickly pulled away from me!

    Andy: I won! Woohoo!
    JDC: Dammit... I lost...

    I won my first race outside of the US. I just couldn't believe it! Blake tried to congratulate me, but Mike stopped him.

    Mike: Leave him alone. Let him celebrate with himself.
    Blake: Yes, boss.
    Mike: Come on, just call me Mike. I don't look like a boss.
    Blake: Yes bos-- er, Mike.

    Unknown dude: Hey, you there!
    Blake: Sorry, but you're talking to me?
    Unknown dude: No, to the wall! Of course I'm talking to you!
    Blake: What do you want?
    Unknown dude: A Race.
    Blake: We were just about to go, but I think we can stay a little longer.
    Unknown dude 2: I heard about you guys. People say you're good, but you gonna have to prove it.

    But Jason had to initiate a war with them.

    Jason: Get the :censored: out of here you asian :censored:!
    Blake: Jason, chill the :censored: out man!
    Unknown dude: "Jason", if that's your name, **** off, idiot!
    Andy: Jason, you've had enough. *pulls Jason out of there*

    Unknown dude: We meet up in this same spot, at this same time, OK?
    Blake: OK. *Turns at Mike* Mike, we got another race!

    Mike smiled.

    Mike: Let's get back to the hotel.