my first fanfic. chapter 1 "the trip" is up!

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Netherlands
Den Haag
sander996
Hello people from gtplanet this is going to be my First fanfic so please be easy on me.

My story is about a 18 year old boy called Jann Markus from Austria, he lives in the little village Oberdrauburg.

Right outside this little village is a mountain road where a lot of street racers test their ricer cars with ugly spoilers and 150hp out of their sewer pipe sized exhausts.

Prologue:​

10-05-2005
Dad don’t do it u will get killed or even worse please dad don’t race him he is crazy I have seen it on tv he drove 5 drivers into the hospital in the last few races and now you go head 2 head against him? Please withdraw from the race! No I can’t son. Oh son. Yes dad? Happy birthday, I do this for you. So wish me luck. I will dad i will.

10-05-2011
Its 6 years ago and I still cant forget that horrible day, my dad raced agains the race king of whole Europe for his title, but this king called Matthias brungel crashes every opponent from the track, he is banned from several tracks and he is 1 of the most wanted criminals in Europe.
Now its my turn to follow my dad by racing every opponent i see, my car? A Toyota vitz 1.5 rs turbo with a big turbocharger producing about 200hp.
6816013378_dc8ae0ec80.jpg
[/url] Fuji Speedway F_1 by WTFnews, on Flickr[/IMG]
I know its not the best car but its good to begin with, thx to my life savings I had 20.000 euros to buy my first car, ofcourse I could have taken the Suzuki swift but that is already known as a fast car so I took a car that lets everyone think oh I can beat that.
But never forget the 200hp thx to its turbo it smokes almost every car I raced so far.

End of the Prologue.​

Please tell me how u like it so far and give me some tips.
 
Last edited:
Hello people from gtplanet this is going to be my First fanfic so please be easy on me.

My story is about a 18 year old boy called Jann Markus from Austria, he lives in the little village Oberdrauburg.

Right outside this little village is a mountain road where a lot of street racers test their ricer cars with ugly spoilers and 150hp out of their sewer pipe sized exhausts.

Prologue:​

10-05-2005
"Dad! Don’t do it!"

"You will get killed, or even worse: please, Dad, don’t race him - he is crazy; I have seen it on TV - he wrecked 5 drivers and sent them into the hospital in the last few races."

"Now you're going to race head to head against him? Please withdraw from the race!"

"No, I can’t, my dear boy. Oh... Jann..."
"Yes, Dad?"
"Happy birthday. You know... I'm doing this for you. So wish me luck."

"I will, Dad, I will."

10-05-2011
6 years ago. Dammit... The memory still flows fresh from my mind. I don't ever think I'll forget that horrible day.
My dad, against everyone's better judgement, decided... to race against the 'king of racing' in the entire area of Europe for the title of 'King.
But this 'king'... called Matthias Brungel, or something like that - one of the biggest 🤬 in this entire world... crashed every opponent on the track, killing everyone.
He ends up being banned from several tracks in the GT Association, and he becomes one of the most wanted criminals in Europe.

Now... It's my turn to follow my dad by racing every opponent I see.

Why, I don't know. But... my car? A Toyota Vitz 1.5 RS Turbo with a big turbocharger producing about 200hp.
6816013378_dc8ae0ec80.jpg
[/url] Fuji Speedway F_1 by WTFnews, on Flickr[/IMG]
I know it's not the best car ever, but, it's good to begin with, and thanks to my life savings I had 20.000 euros to buy my first car. I love it. Of course I could have taken the Suzuki Swift, or something like that, but that is already known as a fast car so I bought a car that lets everyone think "Oh, a Vitz? I can beat that. Easily. With my hands tied behind my 🤬."

But never forget the 200 horses thanks to its turbo - it smokes almost every car I have raced so far.

End of the Prologue.​

Please tell me how u like it so far and give me some tips.

How I would do things.
Proper grammar has got to be one of the most important things when writing fanfics. And also if you follow the AUP. You may think I'm a bit harsh, but this is coming from past experiences - in real life and on here (my original fanfic was kinda like this.)

I edited this to attempt to... explain... where I think you can make improvements. I like it, it's a good start, but I personally just can't stand seeing typing and grammatical errors (I'm a perfectionist.)

Not trying to be harsh, but there is room for improvement in what I have said above.

And... are you using the Mobile App, or a standard desktop/laptop computer?
 
@FE10 i'm using my laptop, thank you for your nice reply i will try to take out as much typo's as i can

@BayneHamlin1121 thx mate
 
Chapter 1.
The Trip.

11-05-2011
Jann heard about a race in the Swiss Alps, so he called his friend Saku who owns a Mitsubishi I Miev and an Evo 6 T.M. Edition that he tuned up to 358hp and placed some sticky racing tyres under it.
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[/url] De Aso (asfalt)_3 by WTFnews, on Flickr[/IMG]
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[/url] De Aso (asfalt)_4 by WTFnews, on Flickr[/IMG]
Together they drove to the alps near the little village of Eiger, this is the place where the race will be held. The track is a little street track called the Eiger Nordwand.

The track has several “hairpins”, including a big one, and it goes up and down with barely any banked turns.

The trip begins with Jann driving first. It’s going to be a 5 hour trip to the track, and there are barely any highways. Most of the trip is mountain road, but Jann and Saku don’t really care because the love driving on these sorts off roads. After 3 hours, Saku says, “Hey Jann, are you looking forward to the
race? “
7175593772_dc80b77a98.jpg
[/url] De Aso (asfalt)_1 by WTFnews, on Flickr[/IMG]
7175593844_689931632c.jpg
[/url] De Aso (asfalt)_2 by WTFnews, on Flickr[/IMG]
Jann replied, “Well, actually, it might be quite a difficult challenge, because there will be people from the local area that can enter it daily.. So at this track we are the new people, unlike in Austria where I have beaten almost every single street racer we know.”
They then pull up in a gas station because they need some bit of Euro 98. Afterwards, Saku takes the wheel over from Jann so he can sleep.
After another 2.5 hour drive, the two got to the hotel. The drive took longer then expected because a farmer in his Subaru Impreza WRX STI wanted to
drive 50km where you could easily go 80km.

Saku checks them in to the hotel and he gets them both separate rooms.

After a long day, they go to their rooms and rest.

End of chapter 1.
 
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