Nothing like a well-narrated race...

[Forgetful]

Laughed pretty hard, thanks.

Told you plant.

 

[RikkiGT-R]

Cheers for the semi-translation Evil_Stig 👍

 

[GregTheStig]

I'll see if I can get a couple more in, just for you guys

Poor M3

 

[Dracwolley]

Is there any way to get a one-on-one race apart from online mode? Because I can't really see an easy way to do this unless one of you guys wants to race me in order to help with this.

 

[edgecrusher]

I took a bunch of shots of a race tonight. Evil, hope you don't mind if I post in here tomorrow.

 

[TouringBubble]

Honestly, I haven't a clue. Explosion stripe??? WTF

I guessed "red line." Sound right? "At the start of lap 2 both cars are at red line."

 

[edgecrusher]

So many props to Evil_Stig for coming up with this idea. I ran a B Spec race last night just to try my hand at race narration, Lost in Translation style. It's not nearly as good as the original, but hopefully this tread will keep going. Without further adieu:

 

[Evil_Stig]

Is there any way to get a one-on-one race apart from online mode? Because I can't really see an easy way to do this unless one of you guys wants to race me in order to help with this.

It wouldn't necessarily have to be one-on-one. You can narrate anything you like. But if one-on-one is what you want, feel free to add me to your friends list and I will be only too pleased to help!

I guessed "red line." Sound right? "At the start of lap 2 both cars are at red line."

I can't remember what I wrote, so I tried feeding your phrase through Babel Fish and it came up with "as for the car both is a red-light district."

I'll see if I can get a couple more in, just for you guys

OMG what the crap happened there?? A little too anxious to get down the driveway were we? LOL

I took a bunch of shots of a race tonight. Evil, hope you don't mind if I post in here tomorrow.

Mind? I am thrilled of course. Let me get my popcorn

Heh. That Bob, such a complainer.

LOL! Nothing like being taunted by a true wordsmith

 

[Stevisiov]

I quite literally laughed out loud when reading the captions of the OP.

Brilliant post. 👍

 

[GregTheStig]

OMG what the crap happened there?? A little too anxious to get down the driveway were we? LOL

According to the dude's Flickr page it was a couple kids with their daddy's M3. I guess they hit a curb/median or something and flew into that house. I've driven an M3, and it takes a really heavy foot and a complete lack of experience to lose control like that.

 

[Evil_Stig]

Here it comes... PART TWO

Not sure if it's as funny as the original, but it's better than a poke in the eye.

(English-equivalent appears below each pic, and can be revealed by highlighting.)

Translation:
Now for the epic rematch!

Translation:
Never, ever race for pink slips

Translation:
Strap into your harness and drive

Translation:
Both cars are moving like a blur

Translation:
Blasting out of the first corner

Translation:
Ricky drives like a scolded cock (Top Gear lingo for "drives rather fast")

Translation:
I'm faster than this, Ricky cries

Translation:
Ricky gets distracted; he was probably talking on his cell phone again

Translation:
Through the corkscrew, Jeff edges ahead

Translation:
Careful, Jeff -- Too much oversteer, and you'll end up wrapped around a tree

Translation:
Ricky observes that this car corners like an 8-bit light cycle! (Additional translation: This car corners great! Also I like TRON!)

Translation:
Jeff swears that pigs will fly before he loses this race

Translation:
My grandma could beat these guys!

Translation:
Jeff scrambles to make up for lost time

Translation:
A drugged monkey could out-drive you!

Translation:
If Ricky is such a great driver, how does he explain this?

Translation:
Ricky squeaks through the corner. Looking good

Translation:
Driving like a drunken sailor, on ice skates

Translation:
Ricky uses his expensive car as a metal detector

Translation:
It's hard to focus on racing with such luscious cars to look at

Translation:
No doubt about it, this is a close race!

Translation:
For now, Ricky wins

Translation:
Jeff refuses to bow to Ricky's superior skill, and promises himself vengeance

 

[GregTheStig]

I lol'd again. I'd add those captions to other photos again but I'm too tired for that now. Maybe later

 

[buzzkill]

Win.

 

[GeeTeeR]

Translation:
It's hard to focus on racing with such luscious cars to look at

👍 Pornography in the car 👍