> MEMORANDUM
>
> From: Bin Laden, Osama
>
> To: Team Mates
>
> Subject: The Cave
>
> Hi guys,
>
> We've all been putting in long hours recently but
> we've really come together as a group and I love that.
>
> Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that
> says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the Garfield
> that says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous.
>
> However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't
> forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a
> few concerns.
>
> First of all, while it's good to be concerned about
> cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned
> about the carpet dust in our cave. We want
> to avoid excessive dust inhalation,(a health and
> safety issue) - so we need to sweep the
> cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning rota...........have you?
>
> I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave reception area
> (next to the halal toaster).
>
> Second: It's not often I make a video address but when
> I do, I'm trying to scare most of the world
> population, okay? That means that while we're
> taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background
> or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Just while we're taping.
> Thanks.
>
> Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently,
> clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the
> top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea Slices
> were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
>
> Fourth: I'm not against team chanting and all that,
> but, we must distance ourselves from the Westerner's
> bat and ball game. Please do not chant
> "Ossy Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" every time I ride past on the donkey.
>
> Finally, we've heard that there may be Western
> soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks.
> I want to set up patrols to look for them.
> First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.
>
> Love you lots, Group Hug.
>
> Os.
>
> PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled
> on my bed sheets - Cut it out Abdul, not funny anymore.
>
> From: Bin Laden, Osama
>
> To: Team Mates
>
> Subject: The Cave
>
> Hi guys,
>
> We've all been putting in long hours recently but
> we've really come together as a group and I love that.
>
> Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that
> says "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the Garfield
> that says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous.
>
> However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't
> forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a
> few concerns.
>
> First of all, while it's good to be concerned about
> cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned
> about the carpet dust in our cave. We want
> to avoid excessive dust inhalation,(a health and
> safety issue) - so we need to sweep the
> cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning rota...........have you?
>
> I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave reception area
> (next to the halal toaster).
>
> Second: It's not often I make a video address but when
> I do, I'm trying to scare most of the world
> population, okay? That means that while we're
> taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background
> or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Just while we're taping.
> Thanks.
>
> Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently,
> clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the
> top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea Slices
> were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
>
> Fourth: I'm not against team chanting and all that,
> but, we must distance ourselves from the Westerner's
> bat and ball game. Please do not chant
> "Ossy Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" every time I ride past on the donkey.
>
> Finally, we've heard that there may be Western
> soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks.
> I want to set up patrols to look for them.
> First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.
>
> Love you lots, Group Hug.
>
> Os.
>
> PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled
> on my bed sheets - Cut it out Abdul, not funny anymore.
