PG jokes from hell....

[ledhed]

Real excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

4.Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]

12. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

22. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

 

[ledhed]

More jokes later..I gotta go get more beer.
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked his Father, "What is this, father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old women stepped out.

The Father looked at his son and said, "Go get your mother."

 

[Vasco]

👍 Funny jokes

 

[Matrixhasu77]

Heard the second one before...

 

[Gran Turismo7058]

Those are awsome

 

[RVDNuT374]

Good jokes!

 

[Belda_Da_Hun]

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

...OMG!!!

 

[halfracedrift]

the 2nd one was already posted....

 

[TsLeng]

Haha. funny

 

[milefile]

The stupidity of these parents is frightening.

 

[Bollocks#999]

makes you wonder if these parents attended school themselves dont it? Very funny none the less

 

[miata13B]

14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

22. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

 

[under18carbon]

That's alotta smilies Miata.

Nice stuff ledhed!