Relationship Problems

[Orion]

The past few days I wasn't talking to Michelle, mainly because I wasn't in the mood, I came from 3 fights the past 4 days. It was tough to talk to someone when you want to (rough) someone else up IMO.

But now she isn't talking to me, or even looking at me, and I'm trying to think of what to do. We was both friends, but we both was in love with each other. After I hugged her and left, things started going downhill.

I bought Starburst and gave $20 to a friend to give to Michelle, since she still goes to school and I was late for work, she is almost done with school anyways and she's 17 years old too. But after talking with her friends, they said don't buy her any more things, she's pissed. Then I asked her friends "What's crackin'?" Then Grizzelle (Her friends nickname) told me about how I didn't give her enough attention. From there on I felt bad. It was one of those times when you KNOW you (screwed) up.

She hasn't picked up the phone, or even let me visit her crib (house). I didn't call too much or knock for too long, because I'm not that kind of dude that annoys the hell out of a girl, all I want is for her to be happy. I miss taking her to school and having nice conversations, unlike some NYC dudes, I listen when a girl talks to me.

Here is part of what I said last time she was upset at me in a letter, I even showed my friends some of it.

"When I'm alone in my room I roll a nice spliff.
I say a little prayer for the girl I've been blessed with.
You was there for us when we had less than this.
I got love for you, Valentine is
With the hearts, it's nothing, because my silk is swimming in the wind.
You're my life, you're my women, you're my friend.
And I gaurantee that I will elevate you from this,
This love, this hate, and these bricks.
And I'm the one that got you away from the elevator piss.
I still love you, even when you never called me much.
But if you ever left me I would beat your boyfriend up."

That cheered her up before, but shes more mad than ever, and I really don't know what to do, I was thinking of kissing her in the lips longer than usual, but this isn't a TV show, so (crap) like that might never work.

What I'm asking you guys is what to do? I'll do anything for her. I even stood in front of her when a oncoming car that was about to splash water on her. Not many dudes would do that for her. I would pee on her leg if she was getting tasered.

 

[Casio]

I didn't read it because it was too long. But out of interest, how does Peeing on someone while they're getting tasered help in any way?

 

[Orion]

I didn't read it because it was too long. But out of interest, how does Peeing on someone while they're getting tasered help in any way?

I don't know, I just thought it was a way of showing you cared.

 

[Rykon Zero]

The urine would conduct the voltage going through her, therefore, Michelle would have a buddy to experience the feel of jabbing a fork into a wall socket and being paralyzed for a short time. Y'know, you should try it. see what happens. But don't tell her I said that.

 

[YSSMAN]

Well coming out of some messy-ass drama with my previous girlfriend and the current relationship shes in now (more drama with my best-friend/boss), its hard to give overwhelmingly positive advice. Allow me to think out loud and make some random suggestions:

- Give her some space if she needs it, but that doesn't mean stop talking to her altogether. Never, EVER call more than once in a day if its a problem like you're going though now, it only makes you seem desperate. And if she calls you, don't play the "I'm pissed card" and not call her back... That stuff just doesn't fly.

- If you "aren't paying enough attention to her," talk to her about it. Ask her why she feels the way she does, etc. See where you can improve, and if it be the case, maybe suggest for her to improve in some areas as well.

- Side note: In my last relationship, the GF who dumped me said that I didn't spend enough time with her. Despite her feelings as such, she never addressed it with me, nor would I have been able to address it fully. Being a full-time student and a nearly full-time worker is hard, and I barely even have time for myself. Honestly, I couldn't help it that she had nothing better to do and that I wasn't there to entertain her...

- Which brings me to my next point: Evaluate your own situation!!! Do you actually have the time and money to spend on her? Does she have the same to send back to you? Is it "puppy love" or is it really something you see going the distance?

You guys sound like you're pretty young, and while my relationship experience overall is limited, I've had my fair share of situations where I know whats right and whats wrong. The thing is, you have to be able to be honest not only with your GF (a feeling I'd hope she can reciprocate), but also being honest with yourself.

Life is pretty F'ed up, I'll give you that, but in the long run relationships are going to come and go. I've had friends that I've wanted to date so bad, or have dated, and things just don't work out in the end for various reasons. What it always came down to for me was being able to figure out why... And furthermore, giving myself the ability to fix it, and make myself better for the next person in line.

In all honesty, I prefer being single than being in a relationship; You get to do what you want to do, when you want to, and how you want to. Being "alone" lets you sort yourself out, and that in all honesty is something that I truly appreciate. It sounds selfish, I know, but until you learn to understand how YOU feel, it will be very difficult to understand how others around you feel.

 

[Wenders]

- If you "aren't paying enough attention to her," talk to her about it. Ask her why she feels the way she does, etc. See where you can improve, and if it be the case, maybe suggest for her to improve in some areas as well.

never, ever, ever, ever tell a girl she needs to improve. us girls are perfect after all.

In all honesty, I prefer being single than being in a relationship; You get to do what you want to do, when you want to, and how you want to. Being "alone" lets you sort yourself out, and that in all honesty is something that I truly appreciate. It sounds selfish, I know, but until you learn to understand how YOU feel, it will be very difficult to understand how others around you feel.

Very good advice. Being part of a couple is a wonderful thing but your whole world shouldn't depend on it either.

Racer,teenage girls are very strange creatures, half the time they don't know what they want and they will change their mind as to want they want at any given moment.

Chances are you p*ssed her off because you were too busy fighting and not spending time with her. Girls, nice girls at least, don't find it cool for guys to be fighting and if that fighting keeps you away from them then it will make them even madder.

Her friends telling you to not buy her things sorta sounds like you believe there is more to this relationship than she does. Maybe she just wanted to be friends and feels like you are pushing for more so she has taken a step back. Unfortunately teenage girls and boys (and men ) have trouble expressing how they really feel and when pushed into a situation they aren't happy with they'll just stop shut down (stop talking, act annoyed etc) as a way to deal with the situation.

Let her know you want to talk, and then give her space. There is a real fine line between 'being there' for her and harrassing her, and that fine line can change from day to day. And then just get back to your own life. Relationships shouldn't be hard work, if they are then they may not be the right relationship.

 

[Orion]

- Give her some space if she needs it, but that doesn't mean stop talking to her altogether. Never, EVER call more than once in a day if its a problem like you're going though now, it only makes you seem desperate. And if she calls you, don't play the "I'm pissed card" and not call her back... That stuff just doesn't fly.

Nah never that, I am never pissed off at her, I'm pissed at myself, I was mad over the fights and wasn't talking to her unless she started talking about something, I was still all ears though.

- If you "aren't paying enough attention to her," talk to her about it. Ask her why she feels the way she does, etc. See where you can improve, and if it be the case, maybe suggest for her to improve in some areas as well.

I know where I have to improve, and I did almost anything to improve. My anger. I got into 3 fights recently, and I started 2. All these fights were with these 3 dudes, they was getting on my nerves in front of my friends, and I decided to spazz out.

- Side note: In my last relationship, the GF who dumped me said that I didn't spend enough time with her. Despite her feelings as such, she never addressed it with me, nor would I have been able to address it fully. Being a full-time student and a nearly full-time worker is hard, and I barely even have time for myself. Honestly, I couldn't help it that she had nothing better to do and that I wasn't there to entertain her...

I spend as much time with her as possible, but I should've spended time to pay attention.

- Which brings me to my next point: Evaluate your own situation!!! Do you actually have the time and money to spend on her? Does she have the same to send back to you? Is it "puppy love" or is it really something you see going the distance?

We can really go the distance, I got the paper (money), I got the job, and I got the time for her even at work.

You guys sound like you're pretty young, and while my relationship experience overall is limited, I've had my fair share of situations where I know whats right and whats wrong. The thing is, you have to be able to be honest not only with your GF (a feeling I'd hope she can reciprocate), but also being honest with yourself.

I see, I was just telling Loon about how I don't want to loose her, that's like loosing a girlfriend AND a friend.

Life is pretty F'ed up, I'll give you that, but in the long run relationships are going to come and go. I've had friends that I've wanted to date so bad, or have dated, and things just don't work out in the end for various reasons. What it always came down to for me was being able to figure out why... And furthermore, giving myself the ability to fix it, and make myself better for the next person in line.

We tell each other almost everything, but I wasn't thinking at the time, I wanted to kill them dudes, and I now see what is more important. Paying attention to your girlfriend. I shouldn't be fighting anyways, I feel wrong after doing that too. Even if I win.

In all honesty, I prefer being single than being in a relationship; You get to do what you want to do, when you want to, and how you want to. Being "alone" lets you sort yourself out, and that in all honesty is something that I truly appreciate. It sounds selfish, I know, but until you learn to understand how YOU feel, it will be very difficult to understand how others around you feel.

I have been single, and it sucks IMO. Out of all the relationships I've been in, this is the one I feel so wrong about. I never felt this way for anyone else. I want to give her time to think about this, but what if she finds someone else during this time?

Chances are you p*ssed her off because you were too busy fighting and not spending time with her. Girls, nice girls at least, don't find it cool for guys to be fighting and if that fighting keeps you away from them then it will make them even madder.

I was fighting at the time when I was supposed to be at work, so she never knew what went down.

 

[YSSMAN]

never, ever, ever, ever tell a girl she needs to improve. us girls are perfect after all.

While too true in fact, I do believe in saying things when they need to be said... Maybe thats why I have such a hard time getting/keeping a girlfriend? (lol)

Very good advice. Being part of a couple is a wonderful thing but your whole world shouldn't depend on it either.

Racer,teenage girls are very strange creatures, half the time they don't know what they want and they will change their mind as to want they want at any given moment.

I think that was the hardest thing for me to get over when I was younger, and in all honesty, it wasn't until I was 19 or 20 when I figured it out. The thing is, both parties have to act somewhat grown up in order for an truly functional relationship is to occur. I think the problem with me is that I was always the "grown up" in that situation, and I often felt left-out because I wasn't able to connect with what was going on at the time. With your situation, it may in fact be the opposite...

===

I'm pissed at myself

First things first, this is something that you're going to have to get over quickly, otherwise nothing will work out in the end. Knowing and understanding that relationships take TWO people is key; Effective communication on both ends is required for a healthy one. If she wasn't talking to you, how in fact were you supposed to know what was going on?

In my previous relationship I blamed a lot of crap on myself when things ended. Sure, I honestly was looking for a way out, but when I was the one who was being dumped, that turned my whole world upside down. I'll openly admit that I had to write pages upon pages of thoughts in order to clear my conscience, not to mention having conversations with myself in order to better understand my feelings and how to best apply them.

I know where I have to improve, and I did almost anything to improve. My anger. I got into 3 fights recently, and I started 2. All these fights were with these 3 dudes, they was getting on my nerves in front of my friends, and I decided to spazz out.

That does suggest a fair amount of improvement on yourself. Now I know that I can be a condescending SOB/douchebag sometimes, but I'd never resort to violence. You've got to be able to identify when/where to pick your battles and when to be able to admit defeat. That, unfortunately, comes with age...

We can really go the distance, I got the paper (money), I got the job, and I got the time for her even at work.

Well, I don't mean for things like that. I mean being able to have the foresight for things in the future. Can you see yourself, HONESTLY, with her in six months? A year? Two years? Five years? Ten years?

I think in the grand scheme of things, its always hard to make your decisions for something like that, and certainly immediate feelings get in the way. But again, getting out of my previous relationship, I had to identify why things weren't working. She didn't live up to my standards of mental and physical heath, her tastes and my own clashed far too much, neither of us were willing to budge on time issues, her family was just as crazy as she was, I didn't like her constant ways of giving up on various tasks, etc...

Basically, some guys can deal with a "fixer-upper," but with her, I would have had to demolish the house and build it from the foundation up. Being able to recognize that ahead of time saved me plenty of time, stress, money, etc. God I hope my friend can figure that out before she drains him as well...

I see, I was just telling Loon about how I don't want to loose her, that's like loosing a girlfriend AND a friend.

That, most often, is the hardest part. I thought Chelsi and I were good friends beforehand, and I knew going out could jeopardize that, but I took that risk. We still talk, and there is still a bit of tension between the two of us, but thats life. People heal over time, and while her jumping on my best-friend/boss doesn't help, I'm at the very least "nice" about it.

I have been single, and it sucks IMO. Out of all the relationships I've been in, this is the one I feel so wrong about. I never felt this way for anyone else. I want to give her time to think about this, but what if she finds someone else during this time?

Being that I'm single more often than not, maybe I'm a bit biased, but even a good girlfriend of mine who had been in a relationship for more than three years recognized that she needed to be single for a while to sort her own issues out.

Again, if you can't depend on yourself, its hard to really do anything in life, even if there are folks there to back you up. You've got to be able to know what you can do on a personal level, trusting yourself and your own feelings. Maybe I've been intra-personal far too long, but I honestly don't know how I could live life without having to depend on myself to do almost everything. Sure, being in a relationship clearly has its perks, but I can't ever convince myself that I have to have someone else around to back me up; It just isn't right.

As for her moving on, well, there are a few ways to go with that:

- If shes truly looking for someone else and finds that new person within a week, she isn't someone that you should be with. Not even remotely close. My GF dumped me, and in less than a week, she was with my best-friend. That doesn't say much, if anything, good about her character.

- If she does find someone else in a lengthy amount of time, let things pass. Maybe stuff wasn't working out, maybe she was meant for someone else. It isn't something to beat yourself up for, its partially fate as well.

===

Give it time, don't worry too much about the immediate future, but concern yourself about maybe in a week, two weeks, a month, three months, etc. There is a lot to be gained from any relationship, and from what I read, you've both got to grow a bit. Don't be too pushy, and most-importantly, be the big-man in this relationship. Try to be the adult, speak nicely and properly, and give her time to do her own thing.

 

[Orion]

*Snip*

Thanks for writing THE BOOK OF LOVE. Damn you have alot of personal experience boi. lol

While too true in fact, I do believe in saying things when they need to be said... Maybe thats why I have such a hard time getting/keeping a girlfriend? (lol)

Keep lying, it's good until you get CAUGHT. Lol nevermind that, listen to that and you will be single forever.

I think that was the hardest thing for me to get over when I was younger, and in all honesty, it wasn't until I was 19 or 20 when I figured it out. The thing is, both parties have to act somewhat grown up in order for an truly functional relationship is to occur. I think the problem with me is that I was always the "grown up" in that situation, and I often felt left-out because I wasn't able to connect with what was going on at the time. With your situation, it may in fact be the opposite...

Wow, am I that easy to read?

First things first, this is something that you're going to have to get over quickly, otherwise nothing will work out in the end. Knowing and understanding that relationships take TWO people is key; Effective communication on both ends is required for a healthy one. If she wasn't talking to you, how in fact were you supposed to know what was going on?

That's so damn true, I don't always tell everybody that I had a fight or lost something/someone that I really love, but in this case, I need to dish out information in order to recieve it. 👍

In my previous relationship I blamed a lot of crap on myself when things ended. Sure, I honestly was looking for a way out, but when I was the one who was being dumped, that turned my whole world upside down. I'll openly admit that I had to write pages upon pages of thoughts in order to clear my conscience, not to mention having conversations with myself in order to better understand my feelings and how to best apply them.

If you was my twin brother I wouldn't be suprised. I end up looking retarded talking to myself but in the end I find out what's wrong and then try to fix it. Who cares if I get alot of mean mugs (people looking at me like ) doing so.

That does suggest a fair amount of improvement on yourself. Now I know that I can be a condescending SOB/douchebag sometimes, but I'd never resort to violence. You've got to be able to identify when/where to pick your battles and when to be able to admit defeat. That, unfortunately, comes with age...

Sometimes violence is the answer IMO, because it gets annoying when friends keep calling you a (punk) and also alot of people in NYC (crap) on the bus drivers.

Well, I don't mean for things like that. I mean being able to have the foresight for things in the future. Can you see yourself, HONESTLY, with her in six months? A year? Two years? Five years? Ten years?

Hell yeah. I'll use her as my cane as we get older. [/Humor] But I know this can be a lasting relationship, I know all the stuff I did wrong and I want NEED to make amends.

I think in the grand scheme of things, its always hard to make your decisions for something like that, and certainly immediate feelings get in the way. But again, getting out of my previous relationship, I had to identify why things weren't working. She didn't live up to my standards of mental and physical heath, her tastes and my own clashed far too much, neither of us were willing to budge on time issues, her family was just as crazy as she was, I didn't like her constant ways of giving up on various tasks, etc...

Yeah, if you mean shes kind of lazy, then I know what you're going through bro, I watched 12 kids at an occasion (9 siblings and 3 other kids) mainly because alot of those kids kept crying and doing many bad things that kids do, I had to change a Diaper every 5 minutes while my mom, mom's friend, and dad went to the pool.

Basically, some guys can deal with a "fixer-upper," but with her, I would have had to demolish the house and build it from the foundation up. Being able to recognize that ahead of time saved me plenty of time, stress, money, etc. God I hope my friend can figure that out before she drains him as well...

I never broke up with a girl, nor tried to make them break up with me. That's why I'm always make an attempt at fixing things.

That, most often, is the hardest part. I thought Chelsi and I were good friends beforehand, and I knew going out could jeopardize that, but I took that risk. We still talk, and there is still a bit of tension between the two of us, but thats life. People heal over time, and while her jumping on my best-friend/boss doesn't help, I'm at the very least "nice" about it.

I would've asked so much girls out if I wasn't afraid that it might ruin the friendship.

Being that I'm single more often than not, maybe I'm a bit biased, but even a good girlfriend of mine who had been in a relationship for more than three years recognized that she needed to be single for a while to sort her own issues out.

I don't have many issues, the only issue I can think of is me and michelle's relationship.

Again, if you can't depend on yourself, its hard to really do anything in life, even if there are folks there to back you up. You've got to be able to know what you can do on a personal level, trusting yourself and your own feelings. Maybe I've been intra-personal far too long, but I honestly don't know how I could live life without having to depend on myself to do almost everything. Sure, being in a relationship clearly has its perks, but I can't ever convince myself that I have to have someone else around to back me up; It just isn't right.

Friends usually make things worse, they make you want to fight someone more than you did before.

As for her moving on, well, there are a few ways to go with that:

- If shes truly looking for someone else and finds that new person within a week, she isn't someone that you should be with. Not even remotely close. My GF dumped me, and in less than a week, she was with my best-friend. That doesn't say much, if anything, good about her character.

- If she does find someone else in a lengthy amount of time, let things pass. Maybe stuff wasn't working out, maybe she was meant for someone else. It isn't something to beat yourself up for, its partially fate as well.

I thought if she found someone so quick that she must either be...
A) Doing it to make me feel worse.
B) Was with some other guy already or the guy was waiting for her to be single. Or...
C) She isn't with someone that will last to long anyways.

Give it time, don't worry too much about the immediate future, but concern yourself about maybe in a week, two weeks, a month, three months, etc. There is a lot to be gained from any relationship, and from what I read, you've both got to grow a bit. Don't be too pushy, and most-importantly, be the big-man in this relationship. Try to be the adult, speak nicely and properly, and give her time to do her own thing.

I always do that, considering how annoyed I would be if like say... My job kept calling my house and leaving messages about me not going to work or something like that.

And thanks for spending so much time on your posts YSSMAN.

 

[backspace]

Am I the only one ROFL right now? Seriously, this one comes close to Doug's "relationship question"

 

[Bram Turismo]

Am I the only one ROFL right now? Seriously, this one comes close to Doug's "relationship question"

No, to me it shows how far GTP members go to help one another...


Anyhow, racer, just tell her how much you love her, you can't do more then that, tell her how you feel, and then give her the time to think about things. Don't be running behind her like a dog, you'll become her toy, we men are prepared to do a lot for our girls but there's a limit somewhere dude. Just tell her how you feel and let her think about it. That's what helped me, although she was never that angry like you've got yourself into...

 

[Omnis]

The past few days I wasn't talking to Michelle, mainly because I wasn't in the mood, I came from 3 fights the past 4 days. It was tough to talk to someone when you want to (rough) someone else up IMO.

You know someone's being emotional when they just talk about something and someone and expect us to understand what or who it is they're talking about.

You might want to introduce us next time... You could've been talking about your dog and we wouldn't know.

Anyway, you sound a little domineering in your poem. Starting off with "as I roll a spliff" isn't very romantic. She probably stopped reading after the first line.

 

[Slick Rick]

I just read through the first post.
You say she doesn't pick up when you call? Wait a few days, give her time to realise how much she missed....or doesn't miss your company. Then, when you call her and she picks up you can talk to her and she will be cool, if she doesn't pick up but she's interested she will call you later. If she doesn't call you back that day call her once the next day. If she doesn't respond then **** it, dont worry about it, you did your bit, she should make the next move.

 

[Orion]

Anyhow, racer, just tell her how much you love her, you can't do more then that, tell her how you feel, and then give her the time to think about things. Don't be running behind her like a dog, you'll become her toy, we men are prepared to do a lot for our girls but there's a limit somewhere dude. Just tell her how you feel and let her think about it. That's what helped me, although she was never that angry like you've got yourself into...

I know, if you read the post good you will see that I only called her like once a day and knocked for a short period of time when I visited her. I want to keep her happy, so I didn't want to over do anything.

Anyway, you sound a little domineering in your poem. Starting off with "as I roll a spliff" isn't very romantic. She probably stopped reading after the first line.

Then why she liked it and showed all her friends? It cheered her up when I said something the previous day, and I didn't mean it to come out that way (I forgot).

I just read through the first post.
You say she doesn't pick up when you call? Wait a few days, give her time to realise how much she missed....or doesn't miss your company. Then, when you call her and she picks up you can talk to her and she will be cool, if she doesn't pick up but she's interested she will call you later. If she doesn't call you back that day call her once the next day. If she doesn't respond then **** it, dont worry about it, you did your bit, she should make the next move.

Right now we are talking but I can feel the tension radiating off of her, so I will leave her alone. This time SHE called, but it was for her book that she left here.

 

[V1P3R]

I just read she was 17 and you are...? I'll stop there.

 

[Slick Rick]

I just read she was 17 and you are...? I'll stop there.

He is also 17, your point being...?

Right now we are talking but I can feel the tension radiating off of her, so I will leave her alone.

Yea thats ok, just leave her and let her talk to you when she's ready. Oh yea if she asks why you havent been talking much dont say 'Because I wasnt in the mood' . Make up some excuse like you've been really busy at work etc and wanted to talk but didnt have time.

 

[V1P3R]

Kids...

 

[zoxxy]

Who's avatar was that?

 

[Orion]

I just read she was 17 and you are...? I'll stop there.

17 turning 18, check the Birth-date in the profile before trying something like that again.

Who's avatar was that?

Some guy that was banned.

Make up some excuse like you've been really busy at work etc and wanted to talk but didnt have time.

I had time, I was with her for 2 hours without talking when taking her back to her house, I only asked one question, and then I was quiet for the rest of the trip. 99% of the trip I had a mean face on, because of the whole fighting thing. The only thing I remember was hugging her, saying bye after that. If only I knew she was feeling (liking) me. I honestly never thought that I would've got this far. I just want to make the RIGHT move so I don't loose both a friend and a girlfriend. I'm also thinking about showing her this thread, but it might scream "Desperate" instead of showing how much I love her.

 

[Turbo Lag]

Well all i know is never be a slave to her, dont get used.

Hope it helps.

 

[Lee]

I would pee on her leg if she was getting tasered.

Sorry for going off topic, but that's going in my sig.. Priceless .

 

[Orion]

Well all i know is never be a slave to her, dont get used.

Hope it helps.

That sounds like it came from personal expierience. There's a fine line between making her happy and being a pushover, doing her each and every command.

Sorry for going off topic, but that's going in my sig.. Priceless .

Another day at the office for me.[/sarcasm]

I just can't stop thinking about her though, I fell asleep at about 6:00AM this morning because I was up all night thinking about her. I even tried sniffing powdered candy to ease my pain. And now my eyes and nose are BURNING. Whoopee!

 

[Turbo Lag]

That sounds like it came from personal expierience. There's a fine line between making her happy and being a pushover, doing her each and every command.Another day at the office for me.[/sarcasm]

I just can't stop thinking about her though, I fell asleep at about 6:00AM this morning because I was up all night thinking about her. I even tried sniffing powdered candy to ease my pain. And now my eyes and nose are BURNING. Whoopee!

Yep its personal experience

 

[Orion]

Yep its personal experience

Well I think we might be going back out with each other. Today she smiled AT ME. For the first time in 4 days. I really never understood teenage girls, you never know what you will get from them.

 

[YSSMAN]

Well, God only knows if we'll ever understand them, ever. Let her decide if she wants it or not, I honestly wouldn't push things too much for now.

 

[Lee]

Well I think we might be going back out with each other. Today she smiled AT ME. For the first time in 4 days. I really never understood teenage girls, you never know what you will get from them.

So if I smiled AT YOU, we'd be going out?

 

[Orion]

So if I smiled AT YOU, we'd be going out?

No, but I said I think we might be, because she seemed to have calmed down, and now she actually said Hi, and Bye to me. Also something she hasn't said for 5 days.

I don't know whether to go all out now, or just wait. I get gassed (hyper, or "amped") pretty easily.

Well, God only knows if we'll ever understand them, ever. Let her decide if she wants it or not, I honestly wouldn't push things too much for now.

Thanks for the advice. My friends IRL be like "Go bag (hit on) that girl." No wonder they're single.

 

[FoolKiller]

I really never understood teenage girls, you never know what you will get from them.

Teenage girls? I am 28 and married (she's also 28) and it isn't uncommon for me to be trying to figure out what language my wife is speaking.



My advice: Rent Say Anything, take notes. Your story sounds that familiar, including the always single friends (by choice, they claim) who suggest you go bang another girl (preferably one that looks like her).

Honestly though, if she is getting to the point that she is talking to you again perhaps a heart felt apology and a good explanation of why you acted the way you did. And in the future when you are emotionally upset talk to her. I honestly believe your biggest mistake here is that when you were angry at someone else you pulled away from someone that you are supposed to be emotionally attached to, can be yourself with, and can open up to. Instead, when you were emotionally distraught you pulled away. She felt betrayed because you are supposed be able to talk to her, she feels she should be the one to hear your problems. By pulling away you sent a signal that you don't want her to be that person for you. [/female translator]

If I come in from work frustrated or stressed and my wife asks what is wrong and I just give her a terse "nothing" she would be angry to and then my situation is only worse. She would prefer to sit there and listen to me rant, but DO NOT YELL AT HER! You can show frustration but turning that frustration toward her will get you in trouble too.

And if you can't be angry at one person but civil with your girlfriend then you may want to contemplate your own anger issues and how they may affect your personal life. That sounds harsh, but you feel bad for hurting her feelings now. Do you want to do it again?

 

[Sureboss]

Sorry for going off topic, but that's going in my sig.. Priceless .

Can Jellyfish use tasers?

"Right, now give me all the caviar! Or she's a goner!"

 

[Orion]

Honestly though, if she is getting to the point that she is talking to you again perhaps a heart felt apology and a good explanation of why you acted the way you did. And in the future when you are emotionally upset talk to her. I honestly believe your biggest mistake here is that when you were angry at someone else you pulled away from someone that you are supposed to be emotionally attached to, can be yourself with, and can open up to. Instead, when you were emotionally distraught you pulled away. She felt betrayed because you are supposed be able to talk to her, she feels she should be the one to hear your problems. By pulling away you sent a signal that you don't want her to be that person for you. [/female translator]

👍 Nice, man I love this site.

If I come in from work frustrated or stressed and my wife asks what is wrong and I just give her a terse "nothing" she would be angry to and then my situation is only worse. She would prefer to sit there and listen to me rant, but DO NOT YELL AT HER! You can show frustration but turning that frustration toward her will get you in trouble too.

I never tried showing frustration around her, whenever I'm mad, I just stay quiet. That is my problem, the only way I can solve problems like this is if I talk about it. Thanks for letting me know that.

And if you can't be angry at one person but civil with your girlfriend then you may want to contemplate your own anger issues and how they may affect your personal life. That sounds harsh, but you feel bad for hurting her feelings now. Do you want to do it again?

I was never harsh to her, I just was quiet the whole 2 hours on the way home.

Well earlier I asked if she was still mad at me, she said no. Then I hugged her and picked her up. She was scared at first, but then she seemed more calm after 20 seconds or so. I decided to carry her all the way to school. She just smiled at me and said I'm crazy. We are slowly getting back together (I think).