Some friend trouble..

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PLmatt91

PLmatt91

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Me and my buddy got into an argument. Lately, he's been a huge jerk lately. Thinking he's hot stuff and what not. And today, I put it on the spot to him and he denied. He's the type that's stuck up and cocky, and he doesn't know when to stop even if you ask him to. He has to get it his way all the time and I always just shut my mouth and move on so I don't have to hear it from him. He has some dirt on me though which I can't say, but he's told about all the people that I know and it's put me in an uncomfortable position around everyone.

My question is, what can I do? I don't wanna stop being friends with him, but he's just a backstabber and he just doesn't get the point what I'm trying to tell him. I planned on just giving it some time. And I ride with him all the time because he gets like motivated to try stuff when we do ride. Just some advice guys, thanks a lot.

-Matt.
 
Is he the type to hold grudges?

If not, I'd just wait it out a week or something (maybe longer), then just call him up and be like "Hey, you want to go ride around?" and just pretend like nothing happened. I don't know how good this advice is, but it works with my cousin.
 
People change. You've become two different people. Find a new friend. It happens often in life. Get use to it. 👍
 
It sounds like you need to progressively distance yourself from him. It's quite normal for people to drift apart like this, but it can be difficult to make the leap in your head that the best thing to do is walk away.

It sounds like you're concerned to hold onto the friendship because it makes you feel good, but it isn't, is it? Because the friend is not treating you as such. I suggest you walk away before you invest too much in trying to keep the friendship going.
 
Consider 'fessing up on 'the dirt' he has on you to those people you think that he will try to gain advantage by telling.

This way, when he thinks he's going to score points by ratting out on you, the other person will know, and can play him back, or just go "yeah, I know."

Honesty is a good policy, most times, I have found.

Except if you're a homicidal psychotic. People react badly to honesty in that case - trust me, I know. :D
 
Venari
Consider 'fessing up on 'the dirt' he has on you to those people you think that he will try to gain advantage by telling.

This way, when he thinks he's going to score points by ratting out on you, the other person will know, and can play him back, or just go "yeah, I know."

Honesty is a good policy, most times, I have found.

Except if you're a homicidal psychotic. People react badly to honesty in that case - trust me, I know. :D
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Hell no am I getting in a car with you for the next UKGTP :p

On the subject, The 'pretend that nothing happened' approach that was mentioned is always a good place to start. 👍
 
Sounds like some physical violence is in order....


alright maybe not, but if he persists a few punches never hurt anyone right?

More seriously, If he is that willing to grass you up, why are you still considering being friends with him, just ignore him for a while, or better off, hit him, wait no, don't hit him. Find other friends :)
 
i would agree with telling your friends the dirt. I mean obviously it depends what it is but if its not too bad it would be ok.

and if this attitude continues, just slowly start seeing less of him, its for the best
 
First, he's not a friend. He's a user. He needs a punching bag and you must be making a good one. Explain your case and ask him to stop. If he doesn't apologize and quit being that way then just quit hanging around him.



Second, unless it will put you in jail no dirt is that bad. Heck, even some stuff that will put you in jail isn't that bad.

The only person that can make you feel guilty is yourself. If there is anything that you do that you don't want your friends to know about ask yourself why. Be honest with yourself and your friends. If they can't accept you for who you are maybe they shouldn't be your friends. If it is something that you personally do regret doing then admit that you did it and that you wish you hadn't and you feel guilty about it. True friends will understand and forgive or whatever, especially since admitting what you did shows that you trust them.
 
It's a tricky proposition, but, on your way out, try to make him aware of where he stands in life (this usually involves an elaborate prank). I am sure that a guy like that causes trouble for everyone. I say on the way out because, as everybody says, he is not a real friend, from what I hear.
 
Don't have him as a friend, just have him as a riding buddy.

The guy sounds like a tool, but I know what it's like to have good people to ride with. I have riding buddies that I never think of outside of riding. Get in touch with him to ride - doesn't mean you have to have anything to do with him outside of that.

Kind of like a ****-buddy. Come together for one thing, and one thing only.

He doesn't sound like much of a 'friend'. :indiff:
 
Yeah, I kind of was leaning towards the riding buddy, not friend part. I'm going to ignore him for most of this week and then see if he just wants to go riding, but if we're with other friends while we're riding and he starts to open his mouth and keep going on, I'm gonna ignore it, I'll just put up with it until the day is over.

I told him to stop plenty of times but he has to be the hot-shot in front of everyone. He loves attention and he loves to put it on other people in the worst way. I need to come up with a prank on him to get him back even. Any one know what I can do??

My plan was to take his bike, and hide it from him for a day or so, and then just drop it off back in his garage since it's open most of the time too. Good idea???
 
Newspaper. Roll it up, hit him in the nose next time he gets out of line. Maybe a little public embarrassment will get your message across.
 
Solid Lifters
People change. You've become two different people. Find a new friend. It happens often in life. Get use to it. 👍
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As usual Solid - Right on the mark !...

And so what if he has "something on you". Unless you're looking at some serious jail time - Who the hell cares. We've all done stuff that didn't look too good - I know I have. And whatever real friends I had back then, they stuck, and still do btw.. If "friends" thinks whatever you did it important - What good are they anyway..

Remember - A friend will bail you out of jail, a good friend will be sitting next to you saying "MAN - That was AWESOME!"...
 
Heh, right. I'm gonna just go past and actually hang with other people. Just go riding with him and other people. I won't call him up though to ride, if we meet up with friends, then I'll have no problem.
 
Solid Lifters
People change. You've become two different people. Find a new friend. It happens often in life. Get use to it. 👍
Click to expand...
I've noticed recently that I've been drifting away from my best friend for the last 9 years. We rarely hang out or talk anymore. We used to be together almost every day. But we still have the same core interest in cars that we've always had, kind of like what riding is to you and your buddy. Donovan and I still have good conversations about important things but usually we only get involved with each other because we're doing something involving cars.

I'm not sure if this is what's happening between you and your buddy or not. Me and Donovan have a had a few problems in the past, but it always turned out to be a pointless matter. We're not on negative terms at all now unlike you. But it seems to me like you shouldn't just forget about this kid since you're both so involved with your riding. I agree with Perfect Balance that you should probably just take a break from hanging with him all the time and instead just ride with him. I have a lot of buddies I don't get along with, but we're always talking to each other at the car meets. It's not that big a deal.
 
Have you gone up to him and talked about it? Does he know that it bothers you?

If no to both, I would say that it is in your hands to set things right.

If yes to both, it sounds like it is a problem with him and you probably shouldn't be that close to somebody you can't stand to be around.

Is it something that happens when you are in groups? The popular kids that act stupid just to attract attention might make decent people to hang out with one-on-one only.
 
Alright well, my ' friend ' call me today to see if I wanted to go biking, and I said no since I'm sick today.. But then he was like oh, do you want to hang out later then? And I said I don't know, I'll have to think about it. And then he was like, oh, I'll ya later then. Feel better. And then I hung up. Maybe he realized why I was mad at him?
 
"Dude, I love you like a brother, but...you got a couple little things that make me crazy.
You lknow that time you (insert event here), that made me really uncomfortable, and I thought it made you look like an ass....So I guess I was uncofortable for you, and because of you..."

Then just kinda go from there. If that don't get things on track, start finding others that your are comfortable hanging with, and gradually pull away. Leave the door open for later possibilities, but it may be time to move on.
 
Nah it's fine now. He called me today to go biking, and it was all of us. He started cracking a few jokes on me but I got him back because he's somewhat in the same situation I was in. So karma got him back today :today:
 
And we hung out today. Cracked plenty of jokes on each other but I got him good in a few jokes, so he knows now I'm not taking any crap from him. We're all good now. I think the 3 days we didn't hang out did a lot.
 
Next time he's with a bunch of people, just slap him in the face. Big, open-palmed smack right in the middle of the face.

Wait a long time before you do it though. It'll be so out of the blue he won't know what to think of it, at which point (in front of the crowd of people) you can say "That's for..."

At which point you never see them again.

I would only recommend this if you're confident you can deal with the consequences though. Still might be a useful tactic later in life if it doesn't work here.
 

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