Strange noises

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Lamboracer

Lamboracer

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OK guys im sitting here and its midnight. My dads asleep on the couch. So anyway i here him rustle around so i look over and he is still sleeping. All of a sudding,,, Ripppp. He lets on go and then he is like upps. While he is sleeping. What are some of your weird story where you have heard someone say something or do something in their sleep.
 
One time on a youth group trip, my friend Josiah was talking in his sleep. Me and my friend were throwing pieces of those "fart in a jar" rubber stuff at him and he slapped himself in the face. Then he said "No No, stop Diamond. I don't wanna swim upstream!" Diamond being his retarded little brother.
 
Big deal, my dad often farts in his sleep, though he enjoys farting more when he's awake so he can see/hear/smell them.

Come to think of it, my whole family farts. I try my best to make as much noise as possible, but to make it sound good. I'd take a high-pitched, smooth sounding fart over the "cards in the spokes" sounding ones.

You see, there's really a technical side of farting. It depends on what you're after: Loud but odorless, quiet but very hazardous, or loud and hazardous. This is all variable depending on A. How long you hold onto your gas. B. How hard you push it out. and C. Your position.

For the loud but stinkless ones, sit on a wooden chair or a hard floor, something that will magnify your noise. You also will need to quickly rid the gas, so when you feel it, quickly get into position and rip it off.
For the quiet but horrible smelling, you'll need to hold onto your gas till it hurts. Then you'll need to stratigically release it at a point where no one hears it. This is best done in a loud environment or by hiding it behind a sneeze, cough, or whatever you can do. You can also, ehm, "open wide" to just release the gas in 1 big volume.
For the loud and smelly, just hold the gas for as long as you can, then use the same steps as in the loud but odorless farting process.

For a maga fart bomb, get in a closed pool, like a hot tub or jaccusi. If done correctly, you can fart underwater which will form a very toxic gas bubble. It'll rise to the surface, detonate(pop) and the smell will be highly concentraited and horrible.

This message is by your friendly nieghborhood GTP mod, MazKid.
 
I don't know about funny stuff ppl do when they sleep, but I do have funny stuff done to people while they sleep. One guy fell asleep and woke up with a giant penis drawn on his back....

And...as for "fart in a bottle"....what's that? A couple days before the drawing thing, I saw this other guy bottle a fart....that was really weird. I walk in the door and the guy has his pants down with a bottle....well....catching a fart.
 
On my way to Sydney a couple of years ago apparently I was making barking noises in my sleep.:odd:

At the start of last year my dad went sleep walking...I mean running, around the house we were staying in.

Later that year my dad got out of bed and started doing something to my step bro when they were both sleeping. I made a noise and my dad walked up to me and stood there for about a minute and went back to my step bro then went to sleep.
 
Most people say dogs don't dream, but sometimes my dog whimpers or barks slightly while it's sleeping, he might move his paws a few times too. Pretty funny.
 
MazKid
Big deal, my dad often farts in his sleep, though he enjoys farting more when he's awake so he can see/hear/smell them.

Come to think of it, my whole family farts. I try my best to make as much noise as possible, but to make it sound good. I'd take a high-pitched, smooth sounding fart over the "cards in the spokes" sounding ones.

You see, there's really a technical side of farting. It depends on what you're after: Loud but odorless, quiet but very hazardous, or loud and hazardous. This is all variable depending on A. How long you hold onto your gas. B. How hard you push it out. and C. Your position.

For the loud but stinkless ones, sit on a wooden chair or a hard floor, something that will magnify your noise. You also will need to quickly rid the gas, so when you feel it, quickly get into position and rip it off.
For the quiet but horrible smelling, you'll need to hold onto your gas till it hurts. Then you'll need to stratigically release it at a point where no one hears it. This is best done in a loud environment or by hiding it behind a sneeze, cough, or whatever you can do. You can also, ehm, "open wide" to just release the gas in 1 big volume.
For the loud and smelly, just hold the gas for as long as you can, then use the same steps as in the loud but odorless farting process.

For a maga fart bomb, get in a closed pool, like a hot tub or jaccusi. If done correctly, you can fart underwater which will form a very toxic gas bubble. It'll rise to the surface, detonate(pop) and the smell will be highly concentraited and horrible.

This message is by your friendly nieghborhood GTP mod, MazKid.
Click to expand...

I nominate this for Greatest Post Ever!!!!! that's awesome! It's always good to know how to fart descreetly when in public places. Me and my dad seem to always be in a contest, however, he has almost no smelling ability, so mine have to uber horrible to have an affect on him.
 
MazKid
Big deal, my dad often farts in his sleep, though he enjoys farting more when he's awake so he can see/hear/smell them.

Come to think of it, my whole family farts. I try my best to make as much noise as possible, but to make it sound good. I'd take a high-pitched, smooth sounding fart over the "cards in the spokes" sounding ones.

You see, there's really a technical side of farting. It depends on what you're after: Loud but odorless, quiet but very hazardous, or loud and hazardous. This is all variable depending on A. How long you hold onto your gas. B. How hard you push it out. and C. Your position.

For the loud but stinkless ones, sit on a wooden chair or a hard floor, something that will magnify your noise. You also will need to quickly rid the gas, so when you feel it, quickly get into position and rip it off.
For the quiet but horrible smelling, you'll need to hold onto your gas till it hurts. Then you'll need to stratigically release it at a point where no one hears it. This is best done in a loud environment or by hiding it behind a sneeze, cough, or whatever you can do. You can also, ehm, "open wide" to just release the gas in 1 big volume.
For the loud and smelly, just hold the gas for as long as you can, then use the same steps as in the loud but odorless farting process.

For a maga fart bomb, get in a closed pool, like a hot tub or jaccusi. If done correctly, you can fart underwater which will form a very toxic gas bubble. It'll rise to the surface, detonate(pop) and the smell will be highly concentraited and horrible.

This message is by your friendly nieghborhood GTP mod, MazKid.
Click to expand...

:lol:👍

You got one hell of a disturbed guy, Ryan.
 
MazKid
Big deal, my dad often farts in his sleep, though he enjoys farting more when he's awake so he can see/hear/smell them.

Come to think of it, my whole family farts. I try my best to make as much noise as possible, but to make it sound good. I'd take a high-pitched, smooth sounding fart over the "cards in the spokes" sounding ones.

You see, there's really a technical side of farting. It depends on what you're after: Loud but odorless, quiet but very hazardous, or loud and hazardous. This is all variable depending on A. How long you hold onto your gas. B. How hard you push it out. and C. Your position.

For the loud but stinkless ones, sit on a wooden chair or a hard floor, something that will magnify your noise. You also will need to quickly rid the gas, so when you feel it, quickly get into position and rip it off.
For the quiet but horrible smelling, you'll need to hold onto your gas till it hurts. Then you'll need to stratigically release it at a point where no one hears it. This is best done in a loud environment or by hiding it behind a sneeze, cough, or whatever you can do. You can also, ehm, "open wide" to just release the gas in 1 big volume.
For the loud and smelly, just hold the gas for as long as you can, then use the same steps as in the loud but odorless farting process.

For a maga fart bomb, get in a closed pool, like a hot tub or jaccusi. If done correctly, you can fart underwater which will form a very toxic gas bubble. It'll rise to the surface, detonate(pop) and the smell will be highly concentraited and horrible.

This message is by your friendly nieghborhood GTP mod, MazKid.
Click to expand...


lamsey_woot3.gif


That's hilarious. 👍
 
Ok i love the reasponses except for nick johnson's. Anyway this thread can go two places. We can keep telling about the weid things people do when the are asleep. Or we can turn this into a fart thread. All in favor vote 1 for fart 2 for sleep.
 
MazKid
Big deal, my dad often farts in his sleep, though he enjoys farting more when he's awake so he can see/hear/smell them.

Come to think of it, my whole family farts. I try my best to make as much noise as possible, but to make it sound good. I'd take a high-pitched, smooth sounding fart over the "cards in the spokes" sounding ones.

You see, there's really a technical side of farting. It depends on what you're after: Loud but odorless, quiet but very hazardous, or loud and hazardous. This is all variable depending on A. How long you hold onto your gas. B. How hard you push it out. and C. Your position.

For the loud but stinkless ones, sit on a wooden chair or a hard floor, something that will magnify your noise. You also will need to quickly rid the gas, so when you feel it, quickly get into position and rip it off.
For the quiet but horrible smelling, you'll need to hold onto your gas till it hurts. Then you'll need to stratigically release it at a point where no one hears it. This is best done in a loud environment or by hiding it behind a sneeze, cough, or whatever you can do. You can also, ehm, "open wide" to just release the gas in 1 big volume.
For the loud and smelly, just hold the gas for as long as you can, then use the same steps as in the loud but odorless farting process.

For a maga fart bomb, get in a closed pool, like a hot tub or jaccusi. If done correctly, you can fart underwater which will form a very toxic gas bubble. It'll rise to the surface, detonate(pop) and the smell will be highly concentraited and horrible.

This message is by your friendly nieghborhood GTP mod, MazKid.
Click to expand...
Most informative post ever. Seriously. 👍
 

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