Stupid questions

Discussion in 'The Rumble Strip' started by venzent, Mar 19, 2002.

  1. venzent

    venzent

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    84
    Who can fill me in on this one?

    Why do kamikaza-pilots wear helmets?????
    Why do have 24/7-shops have locks on the doors????

    Anyone now more of this stupid questions???? :p
     
  2. SandStorm

    SandStorm (Banned)

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    Why is it you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?????????????
     
  3. GilesGuthrie

    GilesGuthrie Staff Emeritus

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    Why are there drive-in liquor stores when it's illegal to drink and drive?
    Why can you buy cigarettes at a petrol station when it's illegal to smoke there?
    Why do they put braille dots on the drive-up ATM?
    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
     
  4. MazKid

    MazKid Staff Emeritus

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    from a comercial:
    Why do we want to get away, and yearn to come back?
    Why do we want to be alone, but never lonely?
    There were other ones, but I forgot them.

    Why do they make the left lane bumpy, and yet if you're going 90 it's not bumpy enogh to make you stop?
    Why do they make speedbumps, when car suspension is getting softer?
    Why are there speed limits on exit ramps, yet you can only go as fast as your tires let you on them?
    Why do they call it tailgating, if there's no gate on your car?
    Why are there bicycle lanes on roads with a speed limit of 60? (near me they are, I call them suicide bike lanes).
     
  5. Tom M

    Tom M

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    3,823
    24/7 shops have to lock their doors in the case of a robbery.
    Kamikaze pilots would never have killed themselves if their superiors didn't at least give them the illusion of a noble death. (plus if they are knocked unconscious before they get to the ship, all was for naught.)
    A parkway is thusly name because it is by definition: a broad landscaped thoroughfare. In other words, it is supposed to look like parkland along the sides.
    A driveway is a private road giving access from a public way to a building on abutting grounds. Probably a word coined when driveways were more than 20 or so feet long, hence you had to drive quite a ways down them.
    I can't help with the drive in liquor store. ;)
    Cigarrettes at a gas station is just good business practices. :) (People like one-stop shopping, so you need to offer all the little things that someone might want - Gas, Cigs, Newspapers, Rolling papers, Coca-Cola, Doritos... ;))
    Brail is on normal ATM buttons, and it is cost effective not to have to mold two different types of buttons.
    Phonetic's spelling is just pure irony ;)
    Can't help you with the bicycle lanes, perhaps they went to a drive through liquor store, got drunk, and painted the lines on the wrong road. ;)
    Tailgating? Which kind? Following too close or BBQ's at football games?
    The speed limit on exit ramps are used to warn drivers that there is a change in road conditions.
    Speedbumps are made to force people to slow down in speed critical areas (Schools etc etc...)
    Left lane bumpy?

    ;)
     
  6. Pako

    Pako Staff Emeritus

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    Why are there Interstate Hi-Ways in Hawaii?
     
  7. Tom M

    Tom M

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    Well, that's a long story...
    There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A genie popped out of his pocket!!!
    The very angry looking Genie bellowed, ''INFIDEL!!! Thou hast disturbed me at a most innoportune moment, Barbara Eden was about to tell Larry Hagman how she feels about him, and now I have missed it!!!. For this intrusion, I will grant you but one wish, so choose wisely mortal for I just may turn you into Sea Lice."

    The suprised man said, ''OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with thirty million dollars in cash in my master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii.''

    The genie replied with a wry smile, ''FOOL, you know not of what you speak! It would take a hundred genies working for a hundred years to build a bridge that large. And sheer size of the pillars would be unfathomable. No known substance could be used to make pillars strong enough to stretch to the bottom of the ocean's depths... Reconsider your wish my master, or you may get nothing at all."

    The man said, ''Fine then, I want to understand the mind's of women.''

    The genie said, '' Would you like two lanes or four?''


    So that's the back story. As for the rest? Well, the Genie went to town hall, and arranged for all the necessary permits for the highway, and it's connections to the mainland US. Then when the Genie was creating the man's house, he dropped it onto a beachside Lava flow with the man inside, burning him to a crisp nearly instantaneously. having accidentally killed the man, the Genie realized that the Bridge was no longer necessary and stopped construction. (but all the roads were already changed to Interstates Highways, and nobody cared to change them back.)
    ;)
     
  8. Pako

    Pako Staff Emeritus

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: Nice story, hadn't heard that one before! :D

    Thanks so much for taking the time to type all that out...so how's the Carpol Tunnel doin' in the wrists? ;)

    :cheers:
     
  9. -Fred-

    -Fred- Staff Emeritus

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    :lol:

    Tom, that's a good one!
     
  10. F2002

    F2002

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    why is it that toilet paper only comes in packs of 8 ?
     
  11. Pako

    Pako Staff Emeritus

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    How about in multiples of 8? I get my TP at a wholesale outlet and it's a 24pk...

    Now that's a whole lotta TP... :D
     
  12. F2002

    F2002

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    3,182
    lol that much TP pretty much does you for 2 months unless you have some sort of problem in the toilet lol
     
  13. Pako

    Pako Staff Emeritus

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    :lol:, well the funny part is this....

    I have some large fish called Pacu's which are a Brazillian Pirrana that are vegitarian. Their diet consists of a can of cut green beans a day. So about the time I need TP is also when I need to stock up on green beans..

    I usally get some pretty strange looks when I head to the checkout stand with 10-8pks of green beans and 24 rolls of TP.. :D Go figure...
     
  14. Ryan

    Ryan

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    3,769
    why is abbreviation such a long word?
     
  15. F2002

    F2002

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    3,182
    lmao :lol:
     
  16. MazKid

    MazKid Staff Emeritus

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    just saw this in a comercial:

    Why the hell is there a comercial running now about Ford and Firestone?

    ....
     
  17. TAFJonathan

    TAFJonathan

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    How do they ship packing foam.
     
  18. Viper_Maniac

    Viper_Maniac

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    Why do they call it Boxing when there are no boxes involved? :confused:
     
  19. vat_man

    vat_man Staff Emeritus

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    Why is phonetically not spelt phonetically?
     
  20. GilesGuthrie

    GilesGuthrie Staff Emeritus

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    I said that!!!! :rolleyes:
     
  21. GilesGuthrie

    GilesGuthrie Staff Emeritus

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    How do they get Teflon to stick to the inside of the pan?
     
  22. MazKid

    MazKid Staff Emeritus

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    Why do they have a British kid in Mazda ads?
    Why is there an Austrillain guy in Subaru ads?
    Why in the movie Gone in 60 Second, the part with the car jump with the 350, when you look at the trailer(that he jumps) it's up and when it looks back at it it's down and ready to be jumped?
    Why in old Austin (car) ads do they say "Aerodynamic" when the car is a box?
    Why are there gell filled tires and run flat tires and no one ever has them in police chases?
    Why do Mazda comercials say "From a family of sports cars" or Soul of a sports car", if no part of the vehicles they're talking about have any Miata parts?
     
  23. Sage

    Sage Staff Emeritus

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    12,533
    Note: These are called "rhetorical/hypothetical questions," not "stupid questions"... ;)

    NEway, here's my contribution:

    • Why is it called "rush hour" when your car barely moves?
    • If Superman is so clever, why is his underwear on the outside?
    • You know how cartons say "Open Here." What are the chances of seeing one that says "Open Somewhere Else"?
    • If it's a circular drive, how do you get out?
    • Why does sour cream have a "use by" date?
    • Why is it that when you deliver something by car, it's called a shipment, and when you deliver something by boat, it's called cargo?
    • How do "Don't Walk on the Grass" signs get there?
    • If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped the buttered toast on the back of the cat and dropped them both?
    • If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
    • Has anyone ever forgotten how to ride a bicycle?
    • Why do they call it a "garage sale" when the garage is not for sale?
    • If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

    Whew! Lot's of typing... :D
     
  24. -Fred-

    -Fred- Staff Emeritus

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    :lol:

    they falll on the side?