Tesla Master Plan: Part Deux

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I read something along the lines of the number of pre-orders they have to honour versus the production output rate, means it doesn't really matter how many they sell in the first three years anyway.

They will be restricted on manufacturing numbers for the first three years, not orders.

I'll rephrase - How many Cybertrucks do we think Tesla will manufacture and sell in 2024?

Are we taking bets yet on whether any of these get crash tested and if so what the results are?
Safer overall score than all current pickup trucks on the market.
 
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Safer overall score than all current pickup trucks on the market.
Source on that? I've been searching for crash test results and all I get is some crappy drone footage and an April Fools video.
 
They will be restricted on manufacturing numbers for the first three years, not orders.

I'll rephrase - How many Cybertrucks do we think Tesla will manufacture and sell in 2024?

Eh, that's still poorly worded.

Everything they manufacture in 2024 is already sold, and everything they sell in 2024 won't be manufactured until 2026 at the earliest. Unless of course all those pre-orders the cultists were gloating about to pump the share price don't convert to actual sales, in which case - with a 125,000 estimated output next year by Space Karen, if new orders next year are manufactured next year, it would point to a colossal collapse in demand for the Cybertrd.

How many they will manufacture, how many they will deliver, and how many of those deliveries are new sales (given the accumulation of 4 years of orders - I'd estimate zero), and how many new orders they receive, might all be quite different numbers.

edit: I'll add that I am admittedly being pedantic about this, but if you give the Tesla cult a Micron, they take about half an inch.


Personally I think it will be more fun to see how many of which version they deliver next year.

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I'm really keen to see how many $39,900 pre-orders are delivered.
 
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Source on that? I've been searching for crash test results and all I get is some crappy drone footage and an April Fools video.
That's my bet... Danoff was asking for bets.
What's your prediction?

Edit:
@MatskiMonk Everything I write is poorly worded, especially when I haven't had my coffee yet.

How many deliveries into customer hands in 2024? Physical deliveries of Cybertrucks :lol:
 
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First off, I'm pretty sure @Joey D was the most vocal about the utility of this thing being poor. Or maybe @Danoff. But, wow, it took a big step back from concept to production.
Cybertruck.jpg


cybertruck2.jpg

This 2nd picture is hilarious, but I will hold some skepticism given there's a video of a Cybertruck going down a freeway & the bike in its bed fit perfectly, upright.
 
From that angle the bed looks smaller than the one on a Ridgeline or a Santa Cruz.
 
cybertruck2.jpg

This 2nd picture is hilarious, but I will hold some skepticism given there's a video of a Cybertruck going down a freeway & the bike in its bed fit perfectly, upright.
I'm curious if it would fit upright, it looks quite tight. Some mountain bikes might have too slack of a head angle for it judging by this photo. That said, hanging the front wheel over the tailgate is a common way to carry mountain bikes in pickups so I don't think it's too weird. I wouldn't want to be resting my downtube on that sharp edge though.

It still looks bloody hideous too.
 
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I'm curious if it would fit upright, it looks quite tight. Some mountain bikes might have too slack of a head angle for it judging by this photo. That said, hanging the front wheel over the tailgate is a common way to carry mountain bikes in pickups so I don't think it's too weird. I wouldn't want to be resting my downtube on that sharp edge though.

It still looks bloody hideous too.
I was just thinking I would not want a carbon bike bouncing around on a stainless steel edge like that. :scared:
 
You typically put a tailgate pad down if you're going to transport your bike that way so you don't destroy your bike's frame:

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But you're probably not the sharpest if you're spending money on the Cybertruck.
 
In the picture with the bike, the shape of the vehicle looks less like a truck and more like a low polygon weinermobile. Long and front-heavy. Like a child's drawing of a coupé.
 
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I've just realised that it's an Enduro S-Works too, so I really hope the bike was only placed there for the photograph!
 
The sharp panels really do look unappealing, and quite dangerous in a pedestrian collision. I wouldn't want to handle that rear tailgate (especially in the sun). But I have every expectation that the hood and doors would also be uncomfortable to handle. Where do you lean on it? Where do you sit on it?

office-space-ajau-naidu.gif
 
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The sharp panels really do look unappealing, and quite dangerous in a pedestrian collision. I wouldn't want to handle that rear tailgate (especially in the sun). But I have every expectation that the hood and doors would also be uncomfortable to handle. Where do you lean on it? Where do you sit on it?

office-space-ajau-naidu.gif
I'm still not sure what the deal with the roof rails is. Like this is the most unfinished-ass piece of car I've ever seen:

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But it's art compared to whatever the smeg this is supposed to be:

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Like... is this actually supposed to be... it?

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This truck is pathetic off-road. I thought it might be the eco tires, but the F-150 Lightning seems to do just fine:

Granted neither of them are great, but how are you going to market a truck that's useless off-road? And it doesn't matter if less than 5% of the owner ever takes it off the pavement, it's knowing that you can is all that's needed for marketing.
 
I'm still not sure what the deal with the roof rails is. Like this is the most unfinished-ass piece of car I've ever seen:

View attachment 1304039

But it's art compared to whatever the smeg this is supposed to be:

View attachment 1304040

Like... is this actually supposed to be... it?

View attachment 1304041
Like I said...worst detail I've seen in any car. They clearly needed some kind of movement joint here...or the a-pillar needed to be separate from the wing/fender for assembly purposes...but that radiused corner that also is not tangent to the window line is just horrific and incongruous with the rest of the design.
 
First off, I'm pretty sure @Joey D was the most vocal about the utility of this thing being poor. Or maybe @Danoff. But, wow, it took a big step back from concept to production.
Cybertruck.jpg


cybertruck2.jpg

This 2nd picture is hilarious, but I will hold some skepticism given there's a video of a Cybertruck going down a freeway & the bike in its bed fit perfectly, upright.
I’m just thinking it’s more bullet protection for your bike…. or igloo.… maybe.
 

The takeaways I got from that are:

  • There are 36 semis on the road now, although Tesla claims they've built 70 (maybe Pepsi hasn't taken delivery of the remainder yet)
  • It takes 2 and a half hours to fully charge them from 0 on Tesla's proprietary chargers assuming the 20% in 30 minutes claim is consistent, but those figures are with batteries that have little to no wear on them
  • Pepsi may be running them with less than full loads, but obviously have no obligation to disclose this information aside from saying they're "fairly loaded", whatever that may mean
  • The provided data was only on days without inclement weather and in temperatures that are neither extremely high or low

They oughta send a couple dozen out to the Appalachian region and get some hard data on how these will fare in a bitter, wet mountain winter. If it holds up to that, then the uptake among the general trucking community will be a lot faster than by just tooling around Sacramento and massaging numbers for dazzled-eyed middle managers. (But then again those managers are most likely the ones who will be placing the orders for these, so I guess they're aiming for the right targets)
 
They oughta send a couple dozen out to the Appalachian region and get some hard data on how these will fare in a bitter, wet mountain winter. If it holds up to that, then the uptake among the general trucking community will be a lot faster than by just tooling around Sacramento and massaging numbers for dazzled-eyed middle managers. (But then again those managers are most likely the ones who will be placing the orders for these, so I guess they're aiming for the right targets)

Pepsi got $15,000,000 state subsidy for 'infrastructure', on top of the $40,000 per truck federal subsidy... I think big fat juicy subsidies in other states might help the uptake too.
 
The A-Pillar treatment gets me because it's not only so bad (even on the very carefully built preproduction ones that Tesla rolled out to press events for people to take photos of from 10 feet away just so they can say how very great the Cybertruck is built, actually, on car forums) but there's as far as I can tell no reason that it couldn't have at least tried to follow the beltline of the windows instead of that horrible squircle thing that they did do.



You know, like the C pillar already does.
 
Not only is the panel not flush like it should be, it's also not straight and looks like it was cut with a pair of Chinese tinsnips
 
I guess "Cybertrucks' manufacturing plant is designed for much higher output... And profitability..." because they are charging ten grand more for it than Ford is for a base Lightning. For the "more capable as an EV" RWD model with all of (probably not actually) 10 miles more range. Whenever it actually comes out, because you can't get that one until 2025.
 
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So if you want actual range you need to sacrifice a third of the bed for a battery pack? That's a bold strategy to take away space from an already small cargo area in a pick-up truck. A pick-up's main purpose is to have a bed.

So the F-150 Lightning is cheaper, has nearly the same range, can function off-road, doesn't have massive blind spots, and has a proper bed that isn't taken up by an external battery. Why would you buy the Cybertruck again? Especially when the base Cybertruck is $61,000 and is RWD only while the same money will get you a nicely equipped F-150 Lightning XLT that has AWD and only 10 miles less range.

For all Musk's talk, the Cybertruck is average at best and a complete joke at worst.
 
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