The "Clutching At Straws" Thread

[Danny]

Just a thread to post near-lies from car manufacturers websites to guffaw at.

7 people. 7 pieces of luggage. This is what this outrageously capacious MPV can carry. Any bigger and it would need its own postcode. Beautifully appointed, with an equally eye-catching price, this is a vehicle that's created a class all of its own. It really is the ultimate in bigness.

Is bigness even a word? And if you look carefully, you'll see the word beautiful in that paragraph.

Brace yourself. Aggressively styled and aggressively priced, Actyon arrives late 2006. A striking new mid-range SUV that fuses genuine off-road performance with stunning urban looks, at a price that will leave you breathless.

Stunning urban looks? Aggresively styled?
Aggresive in the fact that it looks like it's been aggresive in a bar brawl. And someone else has been aggresive with the ugly stick, methinks.

And the passage for the Rexton uses the word paradoxically. Ugh.

www.syukcars.co.uk for those who wish to check it out.

The website looks cheap, might I add.

If anyone finds any more blatant truth-stretching, please post them here.

 

[Danny]

Breaking News- Ssangyong blueprints for next SUV leaked!

 

[GM]

Bigness

Towing Weight (kg) 3500 3300 2800 3000
Torque (lb ft) 250@2400 275@2000 253@1850-2500 297@2000
BHP 163@4000 158@3800 138@3800 172@4000
Footprint (LxW, cm2) 88,264 91,046 86,042 87,690

Even I know BIGNESS is not a word.


They reccomend the Rexton over the Nissan Pathfinder and Mitsubushi Shogun. Like lmao.

 

[G.T]

But designer looks don’t mean a hefty price tag – The Chevrolet Tacuma is affordable as well as desirable, with prices starting at just £10,995. For a people carrier of this specification, that’s amazing value.

Err, yeah - how is a car based on the last-gen Scenic that's over 6 years old desirable?

 

[Danny]

"Build your own Ssangyong"

It would be of better quality if I made it

 

[GM]

It'd be better quality if Alpine made it.