- 3,425
Subject: The Parrot
>>
>>A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a
>>little
>>perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,"Jeesh,
>>I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
>>
>>The parrot answers, " I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
>>
>>"Holy crap" the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered
>>me!"
>>
>>"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
>>intelligent,
>>thoroughly educated bird."
>>
>>"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this--how do you hang onto
>>your perch
>>without any feet?"
>>
>>"Well," the parrot answers, "this is very embarrassing but since
>>you asked,
>>I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You
>>can't see it because of my feathers."
>>"WOW," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English
>>too."
>>
>>" Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
>>with
>>reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
>>sports,
>>physics, philosophy. I'm especially good on ornithology. You really
>>ought
>>to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
>>
>> The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
>>afford that."
>>
>>"Pssssst," says the parrot, "The truth is, because I'm defective
>>nobody
>>wants me. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an
>>offer"
>>
>>The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.
>> The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
>>interesting,
>>he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and
>>he's
>>insightful. The guy is delighted.
>>
>>One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
>>"Pssssst,"
>>and motions him over with one wing. I don't know if I should tell
>>you this
>>or not, but it's about your wife and postman."
>>
>>"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>>
>>"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
>>at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
>>
>>WHAT???" the guy stammers. "Then what happened?"
>>
>>"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her
>>nightie
>>and began stroking her all over ," reported the parrot.
>>
>>"Oh no!" the man exclaims, "then what?
>>
>>"Then he took off her nightie and began to kiss her all over,
>>starting
>>with her breasts and slowly going down . . . . "
>>
>>"My God" shouts the frantic guy. "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
>>
>>Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
>
>>
>>A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a
>>little
>>perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,"Jeesh,
>>I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
>>
>>The parrot answers, " I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
>>
>>"Holy crap" the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered
>>me!"
>>
>>"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
>>intelligent,
>>thoroughly educated bird."
>>
>>"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this--how do you hang onto
>>your perch
>>without any feet?"
>>
>>"Well," the parrot answers, "this is very embarrassing but since
>>you asked,
>>I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You
>>can't see it because of my feathers."
>>"WOW," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English
>>too."
>>
>>" Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
>>with
>>reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
>>sports,
>>physics, philosophy. I'm especially good on ornithology. You really
>>ought
>>to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
>>
>> The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
>>afford that."
>>
>>"Pssssst," says the parrot, "The truth is, because I'm defective
>>nobody
>>wants me. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an
>>offer"
>>
>>The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.
>> The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
>>interesting,
>>he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and
>>he's
>>insightful. The guy is delighted.
>>
>>One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
>>"Pssssst,"
>>and motions him over with one wing. I don't know if I should tell
>>you this
>>or not, but it's about your wife and postman."
>>
>>"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>>
>>"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
>>at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
>>
>>WHAT???" the guy stammers. "Then what happened?"
>>
>>"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her
>>nightie
>>and began stroking her all over ," reported the parrot.
>>
>>"Oh no!" the man exclaims, "then what?
>>
>>"Then he took off her nightie and began to kiss her all over,
>>starting
>>with her breasts and slowly going down . . . . "
>>
>>"My God" shouts the frantic guy. "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
>>
>>Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
>
Just teasin ya.