The Talk

[Der Alta]

The talk.

Have you had "the talk" yet? When growing up, when did you have it? If you've got kids, when are they getting it, or have they already had it?

This conversation stems from a recent conversation I had with my brother. We were discussing "Hidalgo", and his biggest question was "were there any love/intimate scenes in the movie?" Well, no, there wasn't but there was a bit of violence. Heads getting lopped off, people getting shot and stabbed among other things. He and his wife were thinking of bringing his two sons (age 11 and 13) to see it and didn't want them seeing any intimate scenes.

My response was "People getting killed is fine, but god forbid they see a pair of boobies." At which point we both had a good laugh. It was then that I asked if he'd had "the Talk" with his son. No, he hadn't. Now keep in mind that this is the brother that started his family at age 15, and his second son was a month from being born when he graduated high school. (if you're asking, 12 years later they're still married).

This conversation had me thinking. I knew about sex before my father talked with me. Due to my knowing and experimenting with girls, my brothers soon found out about it. In fact, I think that when my youngest brother had this talk with my dad, he could have taught my dad a few things.

That's what scares me the most. I walk around a mall these days, and realize that young kids are looking a lot older than they should. Are they acting older as well? Or have I just gotten old and not realized that it's acceptable to flaunt sexuality when you're 12, or 13?

I know there are a few fathers and mothers around here, as well as a few young guys. I'd like to hear thoughts about this topic. I'm in the position that I'll never have to give this talk, so it's more of a way for me to bring this subject up for others to learn. Maybe my nephews will catch this thread and not end up in the same situation my brother is in. Maybe a few young guys will listen to the old guys here and not have this topic with a taboo stigma attached to it.

As a further question, when you got the talk, did you already know more about the subject than your dad?

I'll be the first to close this thread if you guys can't keep it respectable and on topic.

Thanks,

AO

 

[halfracedrift]

"The Talk" about what? Sex? My parents have made me go into their room and talk about too many things.

"Relations" with girls is one of the... more discussed topics in their bedroom, when both of them seem to be a judge and put me on trial

 

[CDailey]

No, I havn't had "the talk" with my dad. Come to think of it, I don't think either of my brothers had it either. I suppose my dad is just leaving it up to us to find out or learn it on our own.

Is that normal?

 

[Jpec07]

Well, I have had the talk (had it at age 11 or 12 I think, when I was first starting puberty...). Anyway, as far as flaunt sexuality at age 12 goes, I don't think that socially it would be acceptable to make babies until around age 15 (note, this is only being drawn from conversation I hear around school; I haven't...done...it...yet...).

 

[emad]

Originally posted by Der Alta

That's what scares me the most. I walk around a mall these days, and realize that young kids are looking a lot older than they should. Are they acting older as well? Or have I just gotten old and not realized that it's acceptable to flaunt sexuality when you're 12, or 13?

[/B]

Well...if you consider the music videos and tv shows directed to kids of that age, "flaunting their sexuality" is a normal thing. I'm not blaming tv at all - It's the parent's fault for allowing their kids to grow up idolizing J-Lo and Christina Aguillera and whoever else. Forget 12 year olds, I've thrown up after having seen 6 year olds dressed like that walking around the mall with their parents...


Honestly...my parents never gave me the talk - about drugs, sex, violence - nothing. They just expected me to be good I guess. Aside from a few fights in 9th and 10th grade, I turned out fine. I'm now 18 years old, still haven't gotten any, never did or considered doing drugs...

If you consider that, and the fact that i'm sure that there are tons of people out there like me, what exactly are the things that cause kids to do go off and do drugs or flaunt their sexuality or whatever?

 

[daan]

I'm nearly 34 and I've not had "The Talk"

Don't think I need it now!

 

[gt4]

my dad asked me and my brother once "do you guys need the talk or no" we both said no and that was that.

 

[skylineGTR_guy]

Blah, they made us watch a video in school. We all laughed our asses off every time we heard the word penis or vagina. Typical kids, I think it was 4th grade when we saw it, so they show us this **** in 4th grade then expect us not to do it gee thanks guys I never knew this thing between my legs was good for anything other than peeing and a good place to kick someone, but hey now I know It belongs in that hole Allison has ! I don't know about you guys but when they taught us this crap they didn't even mention STD's which was stupid. Hey look this is how you have sex, but it's bad, we don't tell you why but listen anyway. They should have showed us some of those nasty pictures in those medical magazines, that would have been great. Alteast give some deterrence...Or did they show you guys that stuff? Maybee Oregon was just weird (it still is, anyone who can put up with drizzle 364 days of the year is nuts) Don't get me wrong, It's all good for them to learn I just didn't agree with the method of teaching. But nowadays what kid doesn't know what sex is? I mean hell the only show not promoting it would be Sesame Street, or do they now? I havent been able to watch latley...

As for the clothing, I get disturbed when I go to the mall, like freaking 6yr olds wearing slutty outfits with "hottie" written on the ass and low cut shirts that are totaly pointless on kids who havent even lost their baby teeth yet. They dangle their little kids like peices of meat and dress them like sluts then complain about child molesters and perverts... Then they wonder why they are having sex when they are teens and blame it all on TV, because it's so much easier to blame the rest of the world for their lack of parenting skills.

 

[rollazn]

Well, im one of the youngster on this board. Im just 14 yeah i know. I havent had "The Talk" yet with my father and i dont really want it to tell you the truth. So awkward, and im sure my dad would never have "the talk" if he wasnt pressured to give it.

 

[Josh]

Thankfully I've never had to endure "the talk."

I remember a while back I was leaving to go pick some Brittany chick up. I told my Dad I was leaving to go to her house, and then we were going to go to some party at another friend's house, and he said something like, "Uhh, do we need to..." I just looked at him like - . Then I said something like, "It's a little too late for that." We both started busting up laughing.

I'm glad my parents never had any "talks" with me about sex/drugs/etc.

 

[Takumi Fujiwara]

Nope, never had "the talk". Honestly, my dad could never do it. They just bought me a book explaining everything...

Plus, there was Sex-ed in middle school.

 

[Kent]

I never got that talk.

Pops died when I was 7 so I figured it out on my own. (maybe that's why Im so bad with women. )

But I do think there is a problem among the adolescents of this generation.

I find that girls are often far too young to wear the clothing they do and often times boys are acting like damn fools trying to represent a growing culture of sexuality.

I honestly feel this is just part of what comes with mtv and comparable programming. Television is not to blame soley, but I really do feel it plays a major role...

Go watch tv for children and pay attention to idols that are held by young, young children... you will see brittany spears, the agulara chick and maybe a few other hoes that have no sense of self-value.

Frankly, if I am ever blessed with children, I will make sure that they are exposed to the world when ready, but I will be damned if I will let them be exposed to the world before they are ready.

But hey... maybe it's just the conservative extremist in me that thinks 12 & 13 is too young for sex.

 

[Ryan2]

We had Health class in 6th grade. My parents wanted me to get the "Talk" but then decided that Health had thought me everything I had needed to know.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

My father approached it a little differantly. I was chilling in my room playing some games, listening to some music when he walked in my room, threw a box of condoms at me, and said "carefull".

That was it.

I allready knew what sex was back around grade 1 or 2. I didn't quite understand what came with it all, but I knew enough that in order for it to work you had to put your pink dolphin down her love chute till you both squirmed like you were having an epileptic seizure .

Kids are getting more sexual every year I think. I know people that were having sex at 8 years old. I think it is absurd.

Everytime I see a little kid dressed like a whore I always get the urge to find there parents and give them a rectal injection of a size 11 boot.

 

[emad]

...I feel so...violated. We had to see those videos back in 3rd grade and then they showed them again in 5th, and again in 9th . Not once did they talk about the bad stuff behind it - they just said don't do it

 

[xAkirax2004]

Originally posted by Rumple Foreskin

Everytime I see a little kid dressed like a whore I always get the urge to find there parents and give them a rectal injection of a size 11 boot.

Can I put that in my sig? Ahh. That was great.

Anyway, my parents never gave me "The talk." I guess having sex ed in 5th, 6th, and 10th (softmore) grades was good enough.

 

[skylineGTR_guy]

Originally posted by emad
...I feel so...violated. We had to see those videos back in 3rd grade and then they showed them again in 5th, and again in 9th . Not once did they talk about the bad stuff behind it - they just said don't do it

Thats eaxctly what I'm saying. It needs justification. "Don't do it" is just stupid and if you have nothing to lose becasue you dont know the dangers then hey why not try it.

 

[F.Zamataki]

i never really got "the talk", it was more of a warning. my dad told me one day "dont get anyone pregnant"
and a different day, my mom said "i dont want any grandchilden".
and by the time they told me these thing i already knew everything..not to mention already tried.....i guess the flow of internet poro is todays main source of sex education...i mean, thats how i figured out what everything was

 

[Ryen49]

Rumple... That explain's how you became such a sex god......
BTW: Nice avater!

 

[gt4]

well unlike most of you when i went through sex ed i did see the reasons not to. we had to watch a slide show of all these different diseases and then some guy with aids came in and talked to us.

 

[under18carbon]

Nope. I'm 15 now, and I've never had "the talk". Probably will never happen.. well I had to figure out things on my own. Your friends become the major source for all this talk, seriously. They seem to exchange endless information ( ) about this stuff.

 

[1X83Z]

No, but I need it. Badly. Private message, anyone?

 

[darklegion_ca]

Originally posted by Rumple Foreskin

in order for it to work you had to put your pink dolphin down her love chute till you both squirmed like you were having an epilectic seizure .

Classic rumple

 

[Kelly]

I never got "the talk" either and look where I ended up! I could be a grandmother before I'm 40!

Kids these days are flaunting themsleves far to young!

My kids (as young as they are) know just about everything there is to know already, they are well prepared for everything. They won't be needing to get all curious and go experimenting (I hope) and luckily my 10 year old daughter likes to keep herself covered up and is more of a tomboy than a little tart, and I am fine with that. I wouldn't let her go wearing skimpy outfits at such a young age... that's just plain wrong.

 

[Solid Lifters]

I will not have the talk with my boys when they get older. I've already started. You supposed to teach them gradually. You teach them to ride a bike, before they learn to drive a car. I'm not going to let my sons go through what I went through. I was lucky I didn't get any girl pregnant until my wife.

It amazes me that so many of you had fathers that completely ignored the topic. I want my boys to be better than me. They will learn from my mistakes, and form the mistakes of others. I will teach them about everything they will need to know.

 

[Sleek Stratos]

While 'the talk' is necessary (or at least used to be) 90% of parents probably approach it in the wrong way, making the whole ordeal a bitter, awkward pill to swallow, for both the kid and the parent.

I never did have the talk, somewhere among the line I learned the consequences of doing 'it'. Public schools are taking charge of the matter more and more it seems to me, and of course they will face no opposition from the parents. Also, since I'm so great with girls, me giving the talk to a child of mine is a pretty hard thing for me to grasp.

Regarding the other issues parents should address their kids with, thankfully, drugs/smoking/drinking have never really had any appeal to me. Maybe I have a high level of 'common sense' in my bloodstream, who knows.

 

[Ghost C]

I never got the talk from my parents, but I lost my virginity when I was 12, so basically the girl taught me everything I needed to know.

On another note, I really hate it when women of ANY age dress in tiny outfits. Bikinis and whatnot aside, it's really just...I can't think of the word, but it's wrong. If they come out flaunting it all, what's left to the imagination? Why bother trying to get her number? You and a few hundred other people have already seen 90% of what's in store.

 

[Shadow]

ive never really gotten "the talk" like everyone else has.

its been more like my parents lecturing on and on and on about why i cant go to a friends birthday party and that ill get some girl pregnant and so on until i fell asleep. they never really sat down and gave "the talk" like most parents do.

however, i pretty much figured that out on my own due to seeing all sorts of things, namely STDs and what they can do to you.



oh yeah and 11 and 12 year olds dressing like whores makes me want to throw up.

 

[Crayola]

I got the talk when i was about 13, but I already new all of the stuff my dad had to say, it was really just annoying. Im 15 almost 16 and have been reasonably far with girls, not quite the whole way but pretty close, but back to the topic at hand. I dont think its necessary for you to explain to kids what it is (to quote the Simpsons "Bees are trying to have sex with birds, as I have been informed" or something) but instead when you kids get to the age when they are going to experiment with girls just let them know to always take precautions or whatever, and although it may not seem "cool" its better to be safe then sorry etc. I think that will be alot more useful then sitting your son (sorry I cant really say how it would be for a girl) down and saying: "You see Mikey, when a mummy and daddy love each other very much..."

 

[Crayola]

Originally posted by under18carbon
Nope. I'm 15 now, and I've never had "the talk". Probably will never happen.. well I had to figure out things on my own. Your friends become the major source for all this talk, seriously. They seem to exchange endless information ( ) about this stuff.

That never happened to me, all my friends were little losers who coudlnt tell the difference between a C cup and a man tit, I think I was the first one in my grade (that I know of) to get to first and second base, probablly third too. For like a half a ****ing year I was idolised by 180 people which is stupid, I feel sorry for them.
This may be because I went to a single sex school, but Sydney Girls (I go to Sydney Boys) is like 70 metres away and theres not even a fence so you can go and talk to the girls whenever you like wihtout getting distracted in class when you wanna learn. (It works well)