The Talk

  • Thread starter Thread starter Der Alta
  • 36 comments
  • 1,367 views
I never got "the talk". One day a few years ago, I asked my mum why not. She just said "You seemed like a sensible, sensitive child, we figured that as soon as you got near a woman, that would help you to treat her with respect, and from there you could discover it for yourself".

Which was fair enough I guess. That, coupled with the fact that they sent me to an all-boy school until I was 18 meant that I was a late developer sexually, which probably helped.

Will I give "the talk"? Probably not in a stuctured "now, let's talk about sex" way. I think that modern kids are so aware, that they're likely to ask questions way before I feel ready to give answers, so I guess I'll try to feed information as the questions arise. Actually, this is all bluster. I haven't got a clue how I'm going to deal with it. But I'll do my best.

On the "young girls dressed as tarts" issue, I never really seemed to bother about it. However, there does seem to have been a huge rise in the amount of provocative clothing being worn by younger and younger girls. I'm not just talking about skimpy clothes, but about clothes that seem designed to attract the attention that is not really wanted. I don't think that writing a slogan on a girl's ass is a sensible thing to do. It's about removing temptation. But like I say, I never really seemed to bother about it, until my wife became pregnant.

The way that I approach problems and new experiences in life is to act as an "information sponge". I pick up as much as I can through reading and observation. I can rapidly acquire large amounts of information, and as such go from not knowing anything to knowing as much as could reasonably be expected. So now I have a child on the way, I've started to watch more and more how children and parents behave. And it horrifies me that parents allow their children to go out displaying the goods before the goods have any right to be on sale.

I guess it's about teaching the child to be able to dress themselves in a way that makes them feel good about themselves whilst not saying "Hey, come here and **** me".

Meh, you should have asked me this 7 months ago, when I would have been able to give you a more structured answer, without my own perspective being muddled by the huge pile of worry that is steadily growing in my wife's womb.
 
Never got the talk. And I'll probably not give one "talk". Like a few other members have said, I'll take it as it comes, in easy to swallow pieces, and not all at once.

Little girls dressing like whores is a problem. It will get worse. The futures of these little girl-whores are yet to be lived. It will be interesting to observe their long term effects.
 
Originally posted by Rumple Foreskin
My father approached it a little differantly. I was chilling in my room playing some games, listening to some music when he walked in my room, threw a box of condoms at me, and said "carefull".
Click to expand...

Thats odd, my dad kinda did something like that. I was playing games, chilling, using my steering wheel. Walks in, says nothing, and puts a pack of condoms on my stereo and simply walks away....
 
Ah, "The Famous Talk" - It was 5am in the morning on the way to my father's Construction business. I worked for him during the summers basically so my father could stress the point of going to college to me. Well, He turns to me and says at the tender age of 15 " Boy. . . You know all that stuff, they taught you that in school right?" I replied "Ya Popz." he said, "Good then I don't have to talk to you about that." - Let alone he did not know I was already. . . well you know. So then this is where it gets interesting. My father then proceeded to tell me to have sex with a certain Ethnic background in a taboo fashion because he says it is the best. . . How the hell can you not talk to your kid about sex but you can of taboo ways???
 
I got "the talk" when I was 13. Dad somehow fumbled his way through it and I was great amused at how embarassed it made him because dad doesn't get embarassed at or fumble through anything. By then I had assembed most of what I needed to know from various 'men's magazines', so while it was quality entertainment, it was not very informative. Bless him for trying though.

Hopefully, my children will receive more coherant advice. Sexuality in young people is very tricky stuff. You want them to know its a natural thing. You want them not to have hangups about it. You want them to accept its proper place in their lives. But like many things that are very complex and can have deep repercussions if not approached with a responsible and proper outlook (like cars, for instance), young people don't always make the right choices.

Like the other dads have said, I'll just take it as it comes, in small bite sized peices. I'm fortunate here because my wife is very good with that sort of thing and she'll take the lead when it comes to our little girl.

I must not be hanging out in the right places or something, but I'm not seeing any 'little girls dressed like tarts' in my neck of the woods. Most of the scantily clad young ladies I see are college aged... and that's just fine by me :cool:


M
 
There's two stages to The Talk: "Where babies come from...", which to me, is probably the easier of the two discussions. However, there's the other half: why people have sex. I wouldn't begin to know how to discuss that with my child.

I asked where babies came from, and my dad gave me a logical explanation. I was around 5 at the time. I bought a book on the human body a little after that and understood it as just another function of the body.

But when I was 8, my dad and I were cleaning the pool, one evening before dinner. We talked about this and that, and we disucssed why people would want to have sex. That put things in a differnt perspective....but at 8, a kid isn't really thinking about when and where and how their going to "do it." So it made a little sence, but not a whiole heck of a lot. I just figued that people get married, and they have sex because it feels good and it produces babies.

About two years later, we had te sex-ed classes, where they separate all the boys and girls and make them watch the Disney-version of sex-ed films. It all went rather okay, I can't remember any of the 60-or-so boys in the room laughing at any of it, and it was an open discussion.

Funny how things changed. By the time I was required to take Basic Health in high school, I was one of 2 seniors in a class comprised of 75% freshman; those darn elective classes got in the way of me seleccting it any other year). When it came time for the wekk-long sex-ed portion of the class, it was pathetic to see all these 14 and 15-year olds laugh and giggle like children when certain words were mentioned. Somehow, it's as if these kids in elementary school are more mature than the high schoolers...
 
Originally posted by milefile
Never got the talk. And I'll probably not give one "talk". Like a few other members have said, I'll take it as it comes, in easy to swallow pieces, and not all at once.

Little girls dressing like whores is a problem. It will get worse. The futures of these little girl-whores are yet to be lived. It will be interesting to observe their long term effects.
Click to expand...

Indeed it will. On one hand, they may look back on the way they dressed and acted and change, or they will feel satisfied with the way they look and act :yuck: and not change at all. I for one hope for the former
 
Back