- 3,425
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 52 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See ... He mated 52 times last year? ...once-a-week."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 125 times last year."
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more operations he will be ok
Bad Fishing Trip
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to go back out into a torrential
downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph.
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap?"
___________________
An elderly couple in a small town had been dating for a long time. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation on how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked. "Well,"she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say - I would like it infrequently." The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then peering over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and asked:
"Is that one word or two?"
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See ... He mated 52 times last year? ...once-a-week."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 125 times last year."
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more operations he will be ok
Bad Fishing Trip
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to go back out into a torrential
downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph.
I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap?"
___________________
An elderly couple in a small town had been dating for a long time. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation on how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked. "Well,"she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say - I would like it infrequently." The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then peering over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and asked:
"Is that one word or two?"
