[WARNING: SATIRE] That's not how you review a video game.

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Seriously, why you have to bring up nuclear politics when reviewing - and evantually, panning it? (may contain profanity in the comments)

So brave. :rolleyes: This is my reaction:

GuileFacepalm.jpg


Edit: Forget the fact that Adequacy.org was a satire. But people in the comments takes it seriously.
 
That idiot gave GT3 a low rating of .38 out of 10 over one blasted song?! Just ONE SONG?! :banghead:

...because said song has something to do with past nuclear stuff. Then everyone gets mad, complaining about numbers of American cars in GT3.

As with the previous games, Gran Turismo 3 features a soundtrack containing songs by many top rock artists. The game's opening sequence features a remix of the popular "Are You Gonna Go My Way" by Lenny Kravitz; other tracks include "Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest and "Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crue. The game even features a brand new track by Snoop Dogg called "Dogg's Turismo III" wherein "Snoop" raps about Gran Turismo 3 and all of the features that it offers. This is unfortunate, because rap "music" is essentially a sanctioned form of African-American hatred directed at Caucasians; one would have hoped that such a blatant political statement could have been left out of this game.

Unfortunately, it gets worse.

The game's soundtrack also includes a Goldfinger cover of the song "99 Luftballoons", which was a popular anti-nuclear song in the 1980s. Pardon me if I'm out of line here, but am I the only one that is getting sick and tired of anti-nuclear propaganda coming out of Japanese video games? I played Metal Gear Solid and am considering purchasing its Playstation 2 sequel, but the amount of sheer liberal anti-nuclear preaching in the original game was enough to make me physically ill. The scary thing is that many of the people who play these games are young and impressionable teenagers who will actually believe the rubbish that games like Metal Gear Solid and Gran Turismo 3 trowl out. This crap was at least related to the events of Metal Gear Solid, which was, after all, a game about a walking nuclear tank. But what the hell do nuclear weapons have to do with auto racing? Namco didn't embed liberal messages like "save the whales" into Ms. Pac Man, for Christ's sake.

Now, I am aware of the standard objection from the liberal "politically correct" crowd on this point: "Japan is the only nation to have been targeted and attacked by nuclear weapons, so they have a unique perspective on this issue." Bah. "Unique perspective", my ass. Harry Truman may have been a Democrat, but he somehow made the right decision. If we hadn't nuked Japan, then countless American lives would have been lost in the eventual invasion. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were legitimate military targets, and their destruction brought about the end of World War II.

Hey, Japan? You got nuked. Deal with it.

If the United States had not done what it did, then chances are that Japan would still be ruled by Emperor Hirohito's iron fist to this day. It is only because of the United States that Japan is the economic superpower that it is today; and it is only because of the United States that Japan is one of the leaders in crap racing games. You'd think that these jerks could show us a little bit of goddamned gratitude. Instead, what we get is an endless lecture about policy. Well, I for one am sick of it. I am sick and tired of being lambasted for heroic action that brought this planet out of one of the darkest chapters of its history. Japan needs to realize that they were on the wrong side of that particular conflict. The fact that they are using video games to try to make the United States a scapegoat is most unfortunate. However, rest assured that their transparent attempts to villify us will fail.

And the comments...

One of the greatest issues I hold with GT3 is it's blatant Anti-American propaganda. The game features an astounding 9 Japanese dealers (listed first in the 'Auto Shop', a clear sign that the Japanese feel their capitalist system, which the US helped to invent in the 1950's, is superior th America's own), and an amazing 81 Japanese cars. Nissan alone ranked in as the number one, with an astonishing 17 cars (note that the Maxima, Altima, and Pathfinder, assembled in the American Tennessee factory).

Not suprisingly, it only features automobiles by 7 'American' manufacturers (including the audacity to list Acura, the Japanese highline company of Toyota, and omit what may perhaps be America's proudest car lines -- the GM and Cadillac lines), and a total of 20 American cars.

Furthermore, the one of the only true American raceslisted, the 'Stars and Stripes' race, is nowhere to be listed in the Professional league. What then is there? The 'American Championship', featured in the beginner league, is listed after the 'Japanese Championship'. After. That's right folks. There's no reason why Japan should be listed first -- this was a blatant attack on the good people of America.

I fully support Mr. Seventypercent when I say to keep this Anti-American piece of refuse out of your, and your child's hands.

You should know that Adequacy.org was a satire website. Unfortunately, everyone in the comments takes it seriously. :rolleyes:
 
...because said song has something to do with past nuclear stuff. Then everyone gets mad, complaining about numbers of American cars in GT3.
I know, I read that too before commenting and I'm still can't believe the low rating. It's like it never occurred to them that maybe PD put the song in there just because it's a good song.

You should know that Adequacy.org was a satire website. Unfortunately, everyone in the comments takes it seriously. :rolleyes:
Yup, I read those comments too, they're quite silly.
Also, oh; so the reviewer was just using satire? If so, I'll take back what I said.
 
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Even if every single song was extremely anti-American I don't think it'd deserve .38 out of 10! The game itself's awesome isn't it?

Also:
Acura, the Japanese highline company of Toyota
I think you'll find that's Honda.
 
Just a glance at their home page:

As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.

This is the absolute most stereotypical parent in 2001. Anyone within this site is a complete failure of a parent and I feel so bad for their kids.

edit- this is a "review" by the same... thing. It's not even a human at this point. http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.7.19.184414.295.html
edit 2- Brett Favre ruined America http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.9.24.19625.1415.html


oh my god, this is free entertainment! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
 
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Ugh... bad news guys.

Wikipedia
Adequacy.org was a satirical web site. It featured articles on politics, religion, technology, history, and sociology, as well as the "Linux Zealot" cartoon series. The site shut down on September 11, 2002, but has since made its archives available.
Adequacy.org's slogan was "News for grown-ups," a play on the slogan of the popular Slashdot technology news site, "News for nerds. Stuff that matters," as Adequacy's founding editors were regular trolls on Slashdot. [3]
I'm not going to lie, this was expert trolling for 2001. I thought these guys were serious.
 
These folks should have been around for the launch of GT6! Honestly the best laugh I've had since 6 came out. By the post titled: "Incest? Or are you just naturally retarded?" I was ROFL with tears streaming down my face. Simply brilliant. Thanks for digging this up!
 

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